Previously: Tara died and Willow went off the deep end. On the plus side, she saved Buffy’s life. On the double plus side, she flayed Warren alive and now he’s dead.
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Two To Go
Kirsti: We get an entire season worth of previouslies which, much like the Scoobies, almost entirely ignores Dawn. Poor Dawnie. Once that’s over with, Buffy’s running through the woods followed by Anya and Xander. Xander stops running to possibly throw up, because OH GOD WILLOW JUST FLAYED A GUY. Buffy says that they can’t afford to stop because of Willow’s “one down…” line. Anya completes the phrase and earns herself a gold star.
Sweeney: Congrats Anya! I don’t think she’s received many of these!
Lorraine: Xander mentions the smell and sound of the flaying, which is something I hadn’t previously given thought to. THANKS XANDER.
K: Buffy says that they have to get to the jail before Willow does, and that she could be there already. Anya points out that a witch of Willow’s level could only go airborne, which is time consuming. She teleports out, leaving Buffy and Xander staring at empty space. They mosey through the woods, doing the really annoying we’re-in-a-rush-but-not-enough-to-warrant-actual-rushing thing that seems to happen a lot in Sunnydale.
They debate whether or not they’re still dealing with Willow, and Xander says that Warren kind of deserved what happened to him. Oh, Xander. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH. Anyway, they get to the edge of the woods where Xander’s car is parked only to find that Evil!Willow made a stop along the way and pummelled the shit out of it. Womp womp. “Meet me at the jail,” Buffy says and takes off at a run, leaving Xander feeling impotent. Wolf howl.
Lor: My Xander sympathy levels have been pretty low for a while, but I do feel for his everyman-ness here. His best friend is on a magic induced rampage, his ex just teleported and his other best friend hoofed it away. It’s got to be rough.
K: Truth.
After the credits, we’re at the police station. Andrew’s trying to hear secret signals in his wrist, and Jonathan snarkily suggests making him a tinfoil hat. Andrew says that he’s worked it out – Warren never abandoned them, he’s just testing them to see if they’re worthy. “You are sadness personified,” Jonathan replies, which I mention only because I think I’m going to start using it on people I dislike, at least in my head. They squabble, which stops only when Anya poofs into their cell. She tells them that she has to get them out of there before they get murdered and starts calling out for a guard.
Jonathan asks Anya what the hell is going on, and she gives him the Cliffs Notes version – Warren shot Tara and Buffy, Tara died, Buffy lived, Willow ripped Warren’s face off and now she’s coming for them. Andrew is devastated over Warren while Jonathan is more concerned with self preservation and ALSO starts calling for a guard. Said guard finally gets off his arse, and is shocked to see Anya in the cell. She tells him to let the Duo out because something bad is coming, and he’s all “LOL, SURE” with a side of “I can handle anything.” She teleports out of the cell to show him that he really really can’t.
Outside the station, a cop is sitting in his car. He looks up as his coffee starts to shake, Jurassic Park style. There’s a flash of lightning and a gust of wind, and Willow appears. He confronts her, but she says “Take a nap,” and he falls down in the street, asleep. (L: CAN I HAS THAT POWER? I’d mostly use it on myself…) (S: What you really need is a friend with this power – “I CAN’T HELP IT. SHE MAGICKED ME INTO A NAP. BEYOND MY CONTROL!”) She stands outside the police station looking up, and I laugh forever because apparently Sunnydale’s jail cells feature windows/doorways that have been cinderblocked over. That “someone call the police – JUST KIDDING” tag is getting a hell of a workout today. She starts pulling the bricks down with her mind.
Inside the jail, the guard is all “WTF?” and tells the Duo and Anya to stay put while he investigates. Jonathan and Andrew are not on board with this plan. The guard says they’ll be safe there, and REALLY? Do you even need a brain to work for the Sunnydale PD? (S: We have 6 seasons of anecdotal proof that there is no such requirement.) (K: Truth) Anya agrees with me. Willow starts removing chunks of concrete, one of which falls on a police car. Cops rush out of the station and she hurls them through the air. Andrew says they need to tell Willow that they didn’t do anything, but Jonathan says they did – they joined the Trio and this is where it took them. Buffy runs up and stands hidden in the same alley where she Beat The Shit Out of Spike. (L: Wow. Thanks for the reminder.) She peeps around the corner at all the cops pointing their guns at Willow, then breaks through the side door.
Upstairs, Andrew asks Anya to teleport them out of there, but she can’t take passengers. Downstairs, Buffy jumps over the counter and dashes up the stairs. Outside, Willow ignores the cops with guns and hovers in the air. She floats up to the hole she’s created and steps through, only to find a couple of the bars ripped out, and the Duo gone. Anya’s still there, and tells her to stop before it’s too late. Willow shoots lightning bolts from her fingers, and Anya flies backwards into the wall before landing unconscious on the floor. Willow turns and screams like a banshee, her eyes black.
After the Not Commercial Break, Willow’s still screaming. Out in the street, the Duo cover their ears while Buffy says that their only option is to make a run for it. Luckily, at that moment Xander pulls up in a police car. (L: Aw! Go ahead, everyman!) They pile into the car and Xander floors it before Buffy can even get the door closed. On the road, the Duo want to know what the plan is, and are less than thrilled when Buffy tells them it’s to stash them somewhere until they can stop Willow. Jonathan wants to know why Willow doesn’t just cast a spell to make them dead, and Buffy informs him that she doesn’t want them dead – she wants to kill them. Andrew repeats again that they didn’t do anything. Buffy punches him in the face. Jonathan can’t believe it’s Willow because he’s known her for nearly as long as Xander, and she was always the brainy, adorable supernerd.
Sweeney: A precious little reminder – equal parts giggle-worthy and heart-punching – of just how far-removed Willow has become from the girl we first met all those years ago.
K: And coming from Jonathan adds the extra little punch.
The two Scoobies pine for a second, but then the car suddenly jerks forward. They all turn to see a semi-trailer directly behind them. Willow is standing on the roof, controlling it with magic. It slams into the car again as the truck driver struggles for control. Xander speeds up, but the truck does the same. The car is hit again and again until the truck is pushing them along. Jonathan asks if Willow knows that Buffy and Xander are in the car too. Suddenly the truck starts to slow down. Jonathan realises that Willow’s power is draining. She collapses on the roof and the driver is able to get the truck under control. He pulls over and the police car speeds away into the night.
TARDIS crypt. Dawn is staring worriedly out the window (why does a crypt need/have windows???) as Clem rambles away in the background, ranking a selection of chips. He suddenly gets the impression that Dawn isn’t thrilled with this game and suggests that he take her to a movie instead. She wants to know why she needs a babysitter when she’s a teenager, and he tells her how sorry he is about Tara, and to say the word if there’s anything he can do. At that, she perks up. “Anything?” she says. Clem is immediately worried, on account of trouble = Buffy killing him (fair), and Dawn guilt trips him into it by saying that Spike would have done it. “Spike’s gone,” Clem says.
That’s our cue to cut across to the cave in Africa where Spike is wandering around shirtless. The glowy eyed demon asks if he understands, and Spike sasses that he does. A dude built like a pro-wrestler appears behind Spike, and the demon confirms that it’s a fight to the death. “Here we are now. Entertain us,” Spike says. Pro-Wrestler Dude smashes his fists together and his hands burst into flame. Spike looks equal parts shocked and scared. PWD starts swinging punches and connects, knocking Spike to the ground. (L: We’ve recapped a fire fight in a cave before!)
Back in Sunnydale, Dawn and Clem are on the bad side of town, looking for Rack’s place. Clem is totally not on board with this plan, but Dawn says that they need to talk to Rack because he might know where Willow is. Clem freaks out a little, saying that Rack is shady, that it’s a terrible plan, and that Rack will demand payment in a non-monetary way because he likes little girls. EW EW EW EW EW. (S: EW. EW. EW.)
Lor:
K: As if he wasn’t creepy enough already…
Clem wants to know what Dawn’s plan is if they find Willow, and she just stands there because she clearly hasn’t thought that far ahead.
Magic Box. Xander asks Anya if she can still feel where Willow is. She says that she can’t, which means it’s gone beyond vengeance. Buffy says that they need to be quick because the Magic Box is a pretty fucking obvious place to go. Andrew suggests that he could summon a demon to kill Willow, and the Scoobies all give him STFU ANDREW faces. Buffy says that they need to find a spell to stop Willow, and Xander points out that Willow drained all the books. Not everything, though. Anya pulls a small trunk out from under the counter and unlocks it, pulling out a book. It’s a book of protection spells – anti-magic. The shop’s last line of defence. The only problem is that she can’t read it.
Jonathan asks if he can look at the book, and gets a dose of STFU JONATHAN faces. He says that he figured he could help, seeing as they’re protecting him anyway, but Buffy replies that they’re not protecting him. They’re stopping Willow from doing something insane. He goes on to say that Willow’s running out of power and will need to recharge. Buffy agrees.
Sweeney: This was weird to me. They don’t establish anywhere else in the episode that Jonathan actually could read it, but it was implied by this and another interaction that maybe he could. I get that they’re all STFU JONATHAN, but as an audience member I would have liked to have this gap closed (“Can you read ANCIENT SUMARIAN?” “No.” “STFU JONATHAN.”) because it kind of felt like they told him to STFU to their potential detriment, you know?
Lor: Like, sure they might be expediting their demise, but it’s on PRINCIPLE.
K: Exactly. That throws us over to Rack’s. Willow walks in, and he tells her that he’s been expecting her. He could feel her coming from a mile away, and he liked it. He gets even sleazier, walking behind her and nuzzling her ear as he talks. “You still taste like strawberries. Only now, you’re ripe,” he says, and I throw up in my mouth. He says that he knows she’s there for something, and asks what it is. “Just to take a little tour,” she replies, throwing the words he said when they first met back in his face. She smacks her hand onto his chest, and drains the magic out of him. Rack groans in pain.
Out in the waiting room, Clem and Dawn walk in. He’s still wigging out about being there because EW GROSS JUNKIE CENTRAL and also Buffy will kill him if anything happens to Dawn. She heads towards Rack’s inner sanctum, and when Clem makes hesitant noises, asks if he wants to wait there. He’s on board with this plan. She heads inside, closing the door behind her because…stupid? IDEK. She calls Willow’s name, then comes face to face with Rack’s dead body (aww, he’s dead? SHAME) which is floating in mid-air. She screams, and spins towards the door only to find Willow there. Her face is covered in black veins. “Hey cutie,” she says. Fade to black.
After the Not Commercial Break, Dawn’s terrified. She asks if Willow’s back on the magics, and DUH. Dawn runs past Willow to the door but Willow appears in front of her. Dawn asks her to listen, but Willow says she doesn’t have to – if Dawn thinks really loudly, she’ll hear. Dawn says that she misses Tara too, but that this is making everything worse. That gets Willow to stop, but only because taunting Dawn for crying all the time is more fun. (S: DISLIKE.) She suggests that maybe she should turn Dawn back into a ball of energy because then she wouldn’t be so whiny all the time. Ouch. Just as Willow approaches Dawn, the door bursts open. Buffy walks in, and tells Willow to get away from her sister.
Magic Box. Anya and Xander are trying to translate the spellbook with very little success. They only have a few words done, and even then, they’re not sure. Over at the table, Jonathan suggests that it might be Babylonian rather than Sumerian. (S: My earlier point is better suited here, but I’m lazy.) Andrew wants to know why he’s helping, and that maybe they should just grab some supplies, use them to overpower Anya and Xander, and then start over as a Duo. He says that Jonathan can be the leader and he’ll take orders. Jonathan looks like he’s considering it, then leaps at Andrew, grabbing his collar. He tells him to grow up. Xander tells them to knock it off or there won’t be any spell, and then they’ll die. Andrew wants to know what will happen after Willow kills them, because she’s clearly not going to stop.
“The annoying virgin has a point,” says Anya. She’s worried that Willow will come after the Scoobies when she’s done with the Duo. Xander says that she wouldn’t because they’re her family, but Anya is seriously skeptical. They bicker back and forth, with a lot of throwbacks to their relationship and Xander’s unfortunate proposal timing, and Anya sleeping with Spike. She tells him that she can’t carry out vengeance upon him so she’ll have to settle for hating him instead. He plays the martyr, and she gets justifiably cranky pants, telling him that none of this would be happening if it weren’t for him. He says that he knows, because he saw the gun in Warren’s hand but didn’t do anything, and as a result two of his friends got shot. Anya looks at him sympathetically, then informs him that she was talking about their relationship. They both look away and go back to the translation.
Lor: I feel bad for Xander and this whole, “don’t be a martyr” thing. I mean, I get Anya, but there’s a wide gap between the “you don’t get to have feelings” idea and the part where Xander can’t really help the whole having feelings thing. Watching these two is painful.
K: Pretty much, yes.
Rack’s. Willow calls Buffy a buzzkill, and Buffy tells her that she needs to get help. She grabs Dawn and pushes her towards the door, telling her to run. But Willow seals the door. Buffy tells Willow that she may be full of super powerful magic, but she’s stronger than it is, and she needs to remember that she’s still Willow. Willow has no fucks to give:
Sweeney: I’m not sure why, but while the Jonathan comment worked, Willow talking about her past-self as a doormat just felt heavy-handed. The last bit, though – about Tara? Feelings.
Lor: IDK, I bought it. It’s just that Willow’s always had this underlying fear of still being that mousy, inconsequential girl. We see it constantly pop up throughout her story line, from her stage fright, to Restless to now. Her power lust I think is directly related to that fear, and it felt okay that it would come up here, when Buffy is trying to tel her that Willow is strong.
K: I think the reason it felt a little heavy handed was because she was talking about herself in the third person?
Buffy looks slightly teary. She tells Willow not to give into the magic, because if she does, she’ll lose everything – her friends, herself, the world. And there’s too much to live for. Willow smiles, and throws the world back in Buffy’s face. A world, she says, where Buffy sleeps with a vampire she hates, and tries to kill her friends, and where an insane asylum is a happy alternative. She knows that Buffy was happier dead. The background has been changing behind her while she’s been talking, and suddenly they’re at the Magic Box. Buffy looks nauseated, and Dawn collapses on the floor. Willow turns to the Duo. “You like magic, don’t you? Abracadabra,” she says. She lifts her hands and streams of magic start to shoot towards them as Willow smiles. Fade to black.
After the Not Commercial Break, Willow’s magic stops short of hitting the Duo, stopped by an invisible barrier. She tries again, with more power, but still nothing. At the front of the shop, Anya’s hiding behind a pole, muttering one of the spells. Andrew and Jonathan make a run for the training room, but Willow slams the door shut with magic. They grab swords off the wall as Willow fires another stream of magic at them.
African Cave. Spike slams into a wall with blistery burn marks all over his body. Pro-Wrestler Dude punches him in the face a bunch more times, then Spike grabs one of his still-flaming hands.
“Bad move, bad move,” he says, then flips the guy over onto the ground. He kicks him in the groin, then stands over him and snaps his neck. He sasses at the demon, saying that he wants what he came for. “You have passed the first stage of the test,” it says. Spike gets OH SHIT face.
Lor:
I won’t say I’m joking, but I am slightly trolling. I know you guys care. I don’t curr.
K: That gif is magical, Lor.
Magic Box. Willow stops the steam of magic, leaving Andrew and Jonathan looking terrified. Buffy begs her to stop, but Willow ignores her. There’s a shot of Anya, still muttering the spell. Willow’s more interested in the protection spell, asking which one of them did it. It doesn’t really matter though, she says, because she can still do magic on herself. She drops her head and mutters a few words in Latin, and then announces that she’s now strong enough to beat them to death. She overturns the table and steps towards the Duo. But Buffy steps up. “I don’t want to hurt you,” she says. Willow punches her and she flies across the room, crashing into the back wall. Willow turns back towards Andrew and Jonathan. Buffy gets up and walks over to Willow, wearing a BAMF expression. “I said I didn’t WANT to,” she says, then backhands Willow across the room into a glass display cabinet. She falls to the floor, hurt. “Didn’t say I wouldn’t,” Buffy finishes.
Xander rushes Dawn, Jonathan and Andrew towards the front door. On the way past, he tries to persuade Anya to go with them, but she says she has to stay to keep the spell going. Xander and the others head out the door. Willow sits up and tries to stop them, but Buffy grabs the back of her jacket and throws her across the room, landing against the stairs. Willow stands and they face off. Buffy asks if they’re really going to do this, and Willow replies “Come on, this is a huge deal for me! Six years as a side man, and now I get to be the Slayer.” Buffy informs her that she has no idea what being the Slayer means, and Willow tells her that she really needs to get her arse kicked. Buffy tells her to bring it. They start to fight. It’s pretty evenly matched until Willow throws Buffy into a bookshelf.
Sweeney:
Lor: I really love how all these strength spells come with a side of fighting 101. Good to know.
K: It’s so convenient!
Outside, Andrew wants to know where they’re being taken. Dawn replies “Somewhere safe,” but Xander has no idea where a safe place is any more. Back at the Magic Box, Willow uses magic to push the ladder leading to the Restricted Section into Buffy. Books fly off the shelves and Buffy clings to the ladder before pushing it slightly away and launching herself at Willow. They fall to the ground, but Willow kicks Buffy into the glass showcase in the counter. They fight some more, complete with a double roundhouse kick of awesomeness from Willow, then Buffy grabs Willow’s arm, telling her that she can help her stop. Willow punches her, and says “I thought you were going to show me what a Slayer was?”
In an alley, Jonathan insists that he can’t run any more. Andrew says they have to leave town, and suggests Mexico, which seems legit given that Cordy didn’t seem to get any Powers That Be (Contriving) coverage down there. Xander tells him that they’re not going anywhere until they hear from Buffy. Andrew wants to know what happens if Buffy’s already dead, and puts his sword to Xander’s throat. Xander gulps.
Magic Box. Buffy punches Willow several times, then flings her across the room, smashing more furniture. Willow looks up to see Anya chanting the spell. Buffy looks freaked. Willow decides that she’s been fighting the wrong person, and advances on Anya. Buffy tries to intervene, but Willow shoves her to one side with another crash of merchandise. I hope the Magic Box has good insurance… Anya stares at Willow defiantly while continuing to chant.
The alley. Xander tells Andrew to calm down because he’s not going to die, but Andrew’s not convinced. Dawn steps in, telling Andrew to leave Xander alone. But it’s not until Jonathan places his sword on the back of Andrew’s neck that he pays attention. Jonathan tells him to drop his sword but he refuses until Jonathan pokes the sword into his neck. They’re not leaving town, Jonathan says. If they’re still alive when it’s over, they’re going to jail to do their time.
Magic Box. Willow grabs Anya by the throat. Anya screams for help, but Buffy’s unconscious on the floor. “You can’t block my spells if you can’t chant. And you can’t chant if you’re sleeping,” Willow says. She hurls Anya across the room, and she falls to the ground unconscious. (S: I don’t understand why she screamed for help instead of just teleporting away/back again. I get that she stayed to chant, but once the chanting was interrupted…) (L: AGREED. I kept expecting that Willow was going to find her incorporeal.) (K: YES) The crash brings Buffy back to consciousness, and she stands. They square off again. Willow tells her that she gets the Slayer thing now – it’s not about the violence, it’s about the power. She lifts her hand and fires a bolt of magic at Buffy. Buffy flies across the room and lands hard on the floor, groaning. Willow looks satisfied. “And there’s no one in the world with the power to stop me now,” she says.
Obviously, because she Said The Thing, she’s hit with a huge blast of green energy (not Dawn). She flies through the air, then slides along the floor. She looks up with surprise, her nose bleeding. Giles(!!!!!!!!!!) stands in the doorway. “I’d like to test that theory,” he says. Fade to black.
Lor: I SQUEED SO DAMN HARD I THINK ANTHONY STEWART HEAD ACTUALLY HEARD IT. MF GILES, Y’ALL!
K: I love him so hard. It’s kind of hard to assess this episode individually, because it was aired as part of a two hour finale. It feels a little long at times – there are only so many times you can watch Willow say basically the same lines over and over again. And I’m pretty much at the point where I don’t care about Spike’s storyline any more (I’ll try and care in season 7, but I’m not promising anything), so I could have done without the random shirtless fighting. Especially as we run into that whole “If you’re stronger when you vamp out, WHY DIDN’T YOU VAMP OUT??” bullshit again. But that ending? FABULOUS. I *may* have bounced up and down in my chair and squealed with excitement. Because, OBVIOUSLY. GILES IS BACK, BITCHES. And he brought his BAMF game.
Sweeney: A LEGITIMATE REACTION. This episode was all right. Neither weak nor strong, but it’s amazing how many points that one line from Giles earns the episode. FINALLY. It’s interesting because Tara’s death felt sort of like the completion of the destruction of our gang. After a season of everyone falling to pieces in different ways, the loss of Tara felt like, “What else is left to take?” We took the season’s approximation of a Big Bad out of the picture at the end of E20, and Willow promptly stepped up to fill the SRSBSNS FINALE TIME slot. This season featured real life, emotional things as the true “Big Bad,” which makes her a more appropriate choice. Giles returning in the wake of Tara’s passing makes all sorts of sense for the emotional trauma arcs. Mostly, I’m just so freaking happy he’s back.
Lor: I’ll save my true thinky thoughts for the finale post, because mostly all that’s going through my head right now is: MF GILES, Y’ALL.
Next time: Willow tries to take over the world in Buffy the Vampire Slayer S06 E22 – Grave.
I'm a 30-something librarian and I still live with my parents because I'm super broke. Leader of Team Heartless Cow. I have an inexplicable love for 90s television, eat too much chocolate, and read more than is good for me.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
Nicole is the co-captain of Snark Squad and these days she spends most of her time editing podcasts. She spends too much time on Twitter and very occasionally vlogs and blogs. In her day job she's a producer, editor, director, and sometimes host of educational YouTube channels. She loves travel, maps, panda gifs, and semicolons. Writing biographies stresses her out; she crowd sourced this one years ago and has been using a version of it ever since. She would like to thank Twitter for their help.
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