Previously: Aria pretended to be A, but the Liars’ moms know something is up.
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Eye of the Beholder
Sara: The previouslies include basically everything we’ve seen so far, including all of the annoying Aria/Ezra crap which means we’ll all be gauging our eyes out by the end of this one. Anyways, the episode starts with the girls drinking coffee at a very public coffeehouse and having a very public conversation about their secrets, per usual. The Liars rehash how Ali was dressing up as Wigison to get answers on who ‘A’ was.
Sweeney: These expository conversations are always so laughably clunky. We’re meant to believe that they had some brief conversation about what happened between Aria and the random dude, but actually no conversation was had because they ask Aria questions that amount to, “Please, tell the entire brief story again.” This is the 45th episode of this show, so it’s not like I’m surprised at this point, since almost every episode begins this way. It still manages to illicit a giggle, an eyeroll, or a groan depending on my mood. (Sometimes all three at once!)
Lorraine: Impressive.
Sara: This conversation is interrupted when a car pulls up and two of our favorite people are back, guys! (It’s not hard to be a favorite person in Rosewood, tbh. Most of the town sucks.) Blind!Jenna and Toby are back, and Jenna has a bandage over one eye meaning that she had the Unblind Me surgery. Spencer and Toby give each other feelsy looks, but he walks right on by because coffee always, always trumps, well… everything.
Marin Manor. Hanna is bitching to her mom about how her life is being ruined because she doesn’t have a phone. Wait, isn’t this bitch the one who threw it in the sink? Ashley Marin and I are on the same page, because she says as much but that doesn’t shut Hanna up. “Being without a phone is like being without a brain! Or shoes!” Ashley gives the patented mom, “A phone is a privilege, not a right,” speech, and I can tell I’m getting older because I wanted to high five her for that. (S: Sympathizing with the parents on teenager shows is the first sign that you’re in the vicinity of Adulthood™.) Ashley goes on that when Hanna decides to tell her wtf is going on with all this A business, she can have a new phone. And another high five to Ashley Marin!
School for Call Me, Beep Me, If You Wanna Reach Me. Mona is giving Hanna an ancient phone (6 months old) as a replacement for now. (L: Six months! Does it text dust and act as a sun dial??) Mona tells her that the number will bill straight to her own account, so Hanna won’t have to worry about her mom catching her. The Liars + Mona disperse and Emily receives a text message from an unknown number.
In another part of the longest hallway in history, Spencer sees Toby which makes no sense, right? Because he homeschooled and got his GED or whatever? Meh, who cares. (L: Definitely not this show.) Spencer approaches him and asks about Blind!Jenna’s surgery, but Toby is being a real dick and I’m not sure if he’s back on the Toby Edit or if maybe when he was gone, he was at Asshole Summer Camp. Spencer is annoyed about him leading Jenna around after she raped him and all, and he just blows her off because Jenna is his sister and he has to help her. They’re interrupted by Blind!Jenna, who seems to know Spencer is standing there, even though all she’s doing is breathing. Jenna is obviously a superhero. (S: Or lying about being blind.) (L: Or a superhero lying about being blind. HMMMM.)
Courtyard for HOW OLD IS THIS GUY. Aria is just chillin’ in the school courtyard with a grown man, and really, we shouldn’t be surprised that Rosewood High School has no security when it comes to grown men creeping around a high school. Said grown man is Duncan, the guy who recognized Aria when she put Wigison’s coat on. He verifies that Aria knows Wigison’s real name before asking where Alison is now. I find it hard to believe that he hasn’t heard about this widely publicized murder, but okay, show.
Aria tells Duncan that Ali disappeared Labor Day Weekend two years ago and they just found her body last year. Duncan wants to know if they know who did it, and Aria fills him in on the LOLPD not being very reliable. When she mentions the other Liars, Duncan says that Ali told him about them. “There’s four of you, right?” Aria questions whether Ali ever talked about someone else who was trying to hurt her. He tells her they shouldn’t talk about this here which is funny because this show is all about the more public, the better. Aria tells Duncan she can meet him later, and he responds that he’ll call her. Before he leaves, he mentions that he saw Ali the weekend she disappeared which is maybe not information you want to offer up if you want to stay off the radar.
The Liars are walking home together and see Garrett’s car peel out for no apparent reason. Their confusion is interrupted by a text from A.
They stop across the street from Toby’s house and see Toby & Jenna talking to a cop. (Does everyone live across the street from everyone in Rosewood?) They immediately assume he’s telling them about the fire which is a weird jump. Spencer says she screwed Toby up so much with the breakup that he might be ratting on them right now. While they’re talking to the cops, we can’t hear anything but we do see them and Toby keeps making these great hand motions like he’s describing an explosion to Jenna’s face. I only mention this because if it turns out that they’re actually discussing a break-in or something, that body language makes zero sense.
Sweeney: The next time I see you, though, I really want you to personally demonstrate “explosion to the face” hand gestures.
Lor: This will actually be very helpful because I intend on threatening people I don’t like with an explosion to the face. At least in my head.
Sara: There’ll be sound effects included, too!
Hospital for If You Could Only See. Toby and Blind!Jenna are waiting in the hospital, and Jenna is talking about how she’s going to fill her room with beautiful things before she takes the bandages off and it’s kind of sweet. While Jenna is talking, Toby spots Wren and they give each other angry eyes. Wren comes over to passive aggressively ask about Toby’s arm, and Toby passive aggressively answers his questions. After he leaves, Jenna asks if that’s Spencer’s new “personal physician” and adds that even a lie would sound good in that accent. Word.
School. Spencer tells Emily that she’s upset about pushing Toby back to Rapey Jenna but quickly changes the subject to ask Em about Maya. Maya’s parents still haven’t heard from her, but Emily fills Spence in on the text she received earlier. She doesn’t know whether to tell or not, and Spencer doesn’t have any advice. On their way back into school, New Jason shows up to tell them that he has some of Ali’s things if they want them. Dude, get a job and stop creeping all over a high school campus. Wtf. The girls look freaked out and we cut to STUPID EZRA UGH.
Sweeney: It was like he heard you talking about dudes needing to stop creeping all over high school girls.
Sara: Piper Mom knocks on the door and asks if she can come in, and I’m already so over this scene. He offers her chocolate milk because he is a fucking child. (S: I died laughing when he offered chocolate milk or apples – perfect snacks to keep on hand for your toddler girlfriend.) Piper wants to make sure that Ezra is clear on the fact that just because she wants to talk about this issue does not mean she’s an ally. Okay, Piper, whatever. You know damn well that you are officially on board with this relationship so don’t even pretend otherwise, lady.
Ezra asks if she wants him gone to New Orleans, too, but she says she doesn’t have an opinion on that. Ezra counters that she does, and she agrees. Before she leaves, Ezra says that it’s important to him to have her approval. LOL. HE IS JUST SO STUPID. I CAN’T. She turns back to ask if he knows of anyone who would want to hurt Aria or him with this information, and he says there used to be someone but that person is gone now. Piper doesn’t look pleased with that answer, but she leaves.
School. Mona and Hanna are walking down the hallway, looking fabulous. Mona is talking shit about Jenna for stealing Noel Kahn.
She worries that Jenna will be even more sneaky and backstabbing when she has vision. Hee. Mona goes on that Spencer is lucky to be away from that creepy family, and Hanna defends Spence because she’s still sad about the break up. Hanna wishes there was a way to get Toby away from Jenna for a minute, so he could talk to Spencer. Mona gets her excited face on and asks if they’re scheming. Mona/Hanna ship all the way.
Sweeney: Specifically, Mona/Hanna/Scheming. Ot3.
Sara: Mona is meeting in a classroom with Toby who is WAIT, WHY IS HE AT SCHOOL STILL? Does he conduct all his business at a school he does not attend? Apparently he’s selling his Sugar Baby Truck (NOOOOO!) and Mona is pretending her cousin wants to buy it. (L: Did he ever pay Spencer for that truck or is he straight selling a gift?) Hanna shows up and Toby tries to flee but she tells him she just wants to talk. She tells him that he can’t let Jenna back in his life, but he tells her to stfu and that she doesn’t know shit. Hanna asks if he’s forgotten everything Jenna did to him, and he says, “No, did you forget what you did to her?” OH, BURN.
Lor: Every time it happes, this whole WHAT YOU DID TO JENNA thing gets me angry. THEY DID NOTHING. IT WAS STUPID ALISON.
Sara: The show almost tricked me into forgetting!
Hastings House. New Jason is dropping off the Ali stuff for the girls. Mariska Mom shows up in the middle of this and gets all weird about Jason being there. He immediately leaves, and Mariska tells Spencer she’d like to go back to a time before when they ignored New Jason and pretended he wasn’t related to them. (L: That’s nice. Just pretend you don’t have a brother!)
Airfield. Aria is meeting up with Duncan who apparently planned on having this talk while flying a plane. Surely there’s a different way to have a private conversation? In the shower, with the water running! (I learned that from detective shows.) While in the air, Duncan tells Aria that he could have fallen in love with Alison but someone was in the way. “At least I had her all to myself up here. It made her feel safe.” He goes on that when Ali was in the air, nothing could get to her because she had all the control. He tells Aria to take control of the plane for a minute and she’ll understand the power Alison felt up there.
When he says again that they couldn’t mess with Alison up there, Aria asks who they are. He says he isn’t sure – maybe a boyfriend, maybe a friend. He looks at Aria super suspiciously and she asks him to take control of the plane back, but he refuses. Kids, this is why you don’t get in planes with people you don’t know. As she continues flying, he tells her that he read about Ian’s confession and she fills him in on the fake suicide note thing.
Sweeney: I briefly took lessons to get my pilot’s license but gave up because of my brain’s aversion to physics. My first time in the air my flight instructor cut the engine on purpose and it was the most terrifying 30 seconds of life ever ever ever. He thought it was hilarious. NEVER GO UP IN TEENY TINY PLANES WITH DUDES YOU DON’T KNOW.
Lor: Snark Squad advice saves lives. What the hell did you do before this website?
Sara: Duncan tells Aria that Alison called him from Hilton Head that summer, asking him to pick her up and fly her to a field in South Carolina. He picked her up that morning, which means she was in town six or seven hours earlier than everyone thought. Man, the police on this case are really, really terrible.
Sweeney: Aria’s correcting Ali’s ETA was also weird. At no point in their conversation did he indicate their hour of departure, arrival, or flight time. Where the hell did she come up with that six-or-seven hours number? Maybe bitch just slept in because she knew she could get a free flight? (That’s what I would have done.)
Sara: Hollis College of Pottery and Pedophilia. Ezra asks Byron to come in his office so he can tell him that he’s decided to turn down the job in New Orleans. Byron says he’s making a mistake, and Ezra smarms off about how he wants to make sure he’s making choices for the right reason and not just because his underage girlfriend’s dad told him to. Ezra apologizes for statutorily raping Byron’s daughter but Byron ain’t having it. Ezra gets really close to Byron’s face and says this in a semi-threatening manner:
“It’s like this, Byron. You think I’m the kind of man who would take this way out, and I know I’m not.”
I just. I can’t. There are little kids watching this show and thinking Ezra is hot stuff and he is coming across as a god damn sociopath in this scene. Anyways, Byron says that he needs to keep from letting his ego get in the way, and Ezra says maybe it’s Byron’s ego that is the problem here. Um, no, honey. I think it’s the law that is the problem for you right now. Byron just walks away instead of punching the shit out of Ezra’s douchey face. Lame. Ezra immediately calls his one twoo luv to tell her he loves her.
Lor:
Sara: Fields. Emily gets a message from Maya, and it’s mushy and lovey dovey. She has the sads.
Hastings Home. Spencer and Mariska Mom continue to fight about New Jason. Spencer fills her in the “Ali might have been blackmailing dad” storyline. The money in Ali’s things, the hiring of the detective, the creepy number of pictures of an underage girl. Mariska looks caught off guard but then reveals that hiring the detective was actually her idea.
After the Not Commercial Break, Hanna is now at Spencer’s house to tell her about what happened with Toby at the school he does not attend. She hopes that she didn’t make it any worse for Spoby.
LOL. UM. WHAT? I realize that this line is here so the girls can realize that the paper is from two years ago, but was this clunky scene really the most effective way to get that information out there? I rolled my eyes so hard, they almost got stuck that way.
The realization about the newspaper tells the girls that Maya wasn’t the one who wrapped Ali’s things – Alison was. I don’t know how this information is helpful at all, but I suppose we’ll see. Certain parts of the papers are highlighted, so Spencer sets off the Liars Alarm to get the rest of the Scooby Gang together, and Hanna runs to New Jason’s house to get the rest of the stuff he left.
Montgomery Manor. Piper is lecturing Byron about trying to strong arm Ezra out of town, and Byron is like, Dude, it’s a job with great pay and great housing and great location. This is fucking generous. And I kind of agree. (S: YUP. Housing in prison was more what I was thinking.) Piper slips and mentions that she talked to Ezra, and Byron is immediately on the defensive because now this stupid Ezria relationship has been getting mixed signals from them. I want to be 100% Team Byron on this one, but he also hid his agenda from Piper so they were both doing some asshole parenting here by hiding shit.
Byron says there’s an obvious answer to this problem (LOLPD), but Piper says she worries that Aria will run away or elope or something. Sorry, but worrying about your child’s reaction to the rules is not a valid reason for not setting rules. Their standoff ends at an impasse.
Sweeney: I hate Piper Mom forever with her whole, “But she’ll be super upset if we say, ‘No!'” reaction. Good. Great. Let her believe this is acceptable and appropriate. Awesome parenting.
Lor: It’s pretty clear to me that this is only a problem because they are trying to parent their daughter 16 years too late. And because they don’t realize that Pedzra Fitz can’t transport their minor across state lines and that she can’t transport her broke, dependent self anywhere. Something like that.
Sara: New Jason’s House. Hanna picks up the bag New Jason left but hears a crash inside the house. She presses her face up to the glass which of course means that something terrifying is going to happen. Blind!Jenna suddenly throws herself up against the glass and slides down, leaving a blood streak. Hanna opens the door to help, and there’s a raging fire happening inside. Spencer shows up to help Hanna get Jenna out of the burning house and onto the lawn. There’s a huge explosion, and the girls look terrified.
After the Not Commercial Break, Blind!Jenna is in the hospital with Toby. She tells him that she got a text from Jason, asking to meet up, so she took a cab there. When she got there, she rang the doorbell and someone opened the door but she doesn’t remember anything after that. She asks how she got out of the house, and Toby tells her that Hanna is the one who saved her. HA. Emotional slaps in the face aren’t as good as literal ones, but hey, it’s something!
Hospital. Wren is creeping working on Spencer and tells her that she has a very complicated life. True. They get their flirt on, and man, he is adorable. He asks if she wants to forget that certain things between them ever happened, but she says she wouldn’t take back anything. He looks pleased.
(2) Can we please do a round 2 on that Tina Fey style group session? Only this time, we gather the whole fucking town and have a giant pow wow about age-appropriate relationships? And then half the men of Rosewood are thrown in jail? That’s what my PLL fanfic would be about.
Sara: Girl, that is fanfic that I can get behind.
In another part of the hospital, Emily calls Maya’s mom and fills her in the text and email.
Spencer watches Jason and Mariska Mom have a conversation.
Toby tells Spencer that Jenna wants to talk to the Liars. They tell her that Jason didn’t send her that text, and that they didn’t do it. Jenna knows. She asks if Hanna is the one who saved her and when Hanna confirms this, she asks why. Instead of answering, Hanna just says ‘you’re welcome’ because she’s a boss.
Later that night, the girls are still going through Alison’s old crap. They find a torn postcard and a newspaper from Labor Day Weekend, with some local events circled. The Liars don’t know who she was meeting that day, and I don’t know why they assume she was meeting someone? I guess because the script says so. The ballerina on Alison’s music box creepily starts twirling and tinkling music leads us to our A-nonymous.
A-nonymous: A gloved hand plants a police officer’s badge in the yard of Jason’s burnt house.
I'm a 30-something with three kids who spends an embarrassing amount of time watching teen television dramas. There's a whole lot of Internet out there, and I plan on reading all of it before I die.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
Nicole is the co-captain of Snark Squad and these days she spends most of her time editing podcasts. She spends too much time on Twitter and very occasionally vlogs and blogs. In her day job she's a producer, editor, director, and sometimes host of educational YouTube channels. She loves travel, maps, panda gifs, and semicolons. Writing biographies stresses her out; she crowd sourced this one years ago and has been using a version of it ever since. She would like to thank Twitter for their help.
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