Angel S04 E15 – Arf, arf.

Previously: Cordevilia hid in her room being evil, Faith and Wes got BAMFy, and Angelus got a hilarious psychic phone call from the Beast’s Master.
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Orpheus

Kirsti: We start literally where we left off, with Angelus biting Faith’s neck. Suddenly, he stops and drops her, scurrying backwards. “What…did you do?” he asks. Flashback to a few minutes earlier. While Angelus was taunting Wes, Faith grabbed a syringe from her boot and injected something into her arm before re-entering the fight. Back in the present, Angelus staggers around briefly before passing out. Wes asks Faith if she’s okay. “Kicked his ass,” she slurs before blacking out. Electric cellos.

After the credits, Fred’s researching behind the desk at the Hyperion when Gunn bursts in the front door, dragging Angelus and screaming Connor’s name. Apparently Wes called him and he went, no questions asked.

Lorraine: Maybe because a phone conversation would be like, “Gunn? Come here.” *glare* *glare* *glare* *glare* “…are you glaring again, Wesley? DAMMIT, I CAN’T SEE YOU WHEN YOU GLARE VIA PHONE.”

I’m really just thinking out loud here.

K: Please continue to do so.

Fred asks where Wes and Faith are, but Gunn just tells her to find a tranq gun. Lorne walks in to see what all the yelling is about, and screams when he sees Angelus tied up on the floor. Gunn tells Fred to go get some shackles and leg irons as Connor appears on the landing. He rushes down the stairs, impressed that Faith took Angelus down as Lorne repeats Fred’s earlier question about Wes and Faith. Wes walks in, carrying an unconscious Faith, a bloody bandage on her neck.

Connor and Gunn take Angelus down to the cage in the basement and lock him up while Wes, Lorne and Fred take Faith into a hotel room and lay her on the bed. Lorne looks at the needle mark on Faith’s arm, and looks at Wes in surprise. Wes stares back, emotionless. Fred peels the bloody cloth off Faith’s neck and hesitantly starts to clean the bite mark. Down in the cage, Connor glares at Angelus, saying that he can smell Faith’s blood on his breath. Ew. (S: Every allusion to the super sense of smell confirms that is a miserable super power.) Angelus twitches and mumbles “kill you.” Connor and Gunn leap back, and Gunn points a tranq gun at him.

Upstairs, Faith makes a similar twitch and mumbles “scratch you out” Lorne grabs Wes and demands to know what he was doing, shooting Faith full of drugs. Wes says that Faith made her decision and that she knew the risks. Lorne calls bullshit. Cut to Cordevilia’s room. (L: NGL, I have no idea how to read or say Cordevilia…) (K: Cord-EVIL-ia, Lor.) (L: Weird.) Connor tells her that it looks like Faith is in a coma, and Cordevilia scoffs “Like she hasn’t pulled that one before.” She then realises that Angelus is in the hotel and demands to know if he’s securely locked up and if he’s guarded. Connor smiles and says “Faith really did a number on him.” Cordevilia shoves him across the room into the wall and starts yelling about the way Connor looks at Faith, saying that he can’t be loyal to their bed or their baby. I pause to vomit. Connor says quietly that he’d do anything for her, and Cordevilia’s eyes widen. She calms down, blaming her hormones, and tells him to go check on Faith and see how she’s doing.

Cut to Faith’s room. Fred demands that Wes tell her what the drug was. “Orpheus,” Lorne replies, earning himself a gold star:

Lor: His gold stars are always the shiniest. Because of my bias.

Sweeney: His growing gold star collection is really the highlight of this season.

K: I feel like we should give him a trophy for Most Gold Stars.

Fred asks if it’s an opiate, and Lorne tells her that it’s an enchanted mystical variety and that it’s bad news, and that Orpheus dealers are the only people he ever banned from Caritas. “The more you take, the deeper you sink,” he says. Add in the vampire bite, and Faith’s in deep shit. This is backed up by Wes, who says that the drug “drags you down to Hell and leaves you there.”

Cut to Ellis Island in 1902. A Terrible Wig Flashbacked Angel moves through the crowds, getting “ew gross” stares from the crowd, who back away and give him space. Except for Angelus, who stands his ground. But Angel walks right through him. Angelus angrily demands to know what’s going on, and Faith appears and says “You tell me. It’s your flashback.” Angelus charges her, but he goes straight through her just like Angel went through him. Faith chuckles. Angelus demands to know why she’s in his flashback, and she says that it must be the side effects of the drug. He wants to know where they are, and she suggests that it’s “Angelus, this is your life.” He disagrees, because this isn’t his life – it’s Angel’s. He sulks and asks why she gets to be the Ghost of Christmas Past. She says it’s because she’s dying and that her last job is to babysit him until they can shove his soul back in.

Segue Magic to 1920s Chicago. They’re both tripped out by the sudden change of time and place. Angelus sees Angel standing across the street, and suddenly freaks out and says he has to leave because he remembers what’s about to happen. Angel suddenly runs into the street in front of a car. Faith momentarily freaks, but starts to laugh when she realises that Angel just saved a puppy. Angelus throws a shitfit. A woman comes up to Angel and thanks him for saving the puppy. Angelus begs him to bite her, but Angel just tells her to get lost. She angrily walks away. “We’re reliving Angel’s good deeds – you ARE in Hell!” Faith giggles.

Lor: I do too. There’s something about the line, “Dude, you just rescued a puppy!“

Sweeney: I got really excited because not only was this a Brought To You By Tumblr moment, but it was one that truly makes no sense if you don’t have the context. While it was clear that he’s watching a flashback, I could never figure out why Angel was so upset about saving a puppy.

K: It’s hilarious in context but even funnier without it.

Back at the hotel, Lorne sits by Faith’s bedside while the others talk in the lobby. Wes says that they need to finish what she started and reensoul Angel. Connor says it’s impossible and that they need to kill Angelus before he can hurt anyone else. “I don’t think so,” says a voice offscreen. The camera pans around to show Willow standing by the door. “I think you need a witch,” she says. They stare at her as we fade to black. HELLO, CROSSOVER MAGIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lor: Willow! Willow! Willow!

Sweeney: WILLOW! WILLOW! WILLOW!

K: CHANTING! CHANTING! CHANTING!

After the Not Commercial Break, Wes is taken aback to see Willow. Connor glares at her a little, and she says “You must be Angel’s handsome yet androgynous son,” and then notes with interest that the sneer is genetic. The minute since she walked on screen is the best thing that’s happened all season.

Lor: Yep. Actually, maybe my favorite Angel moments so far, or at least in the top 10 are (1) – Willow saying absolutely nothing at the end of season 2 and (2) – Willow showing up right now.

Sweeney: Oh man, that first one was such a flawless moment. I forgot this show had one of those before. Always needs more Willow.

K: Truth. She sasses a little at Wes, calling him the insomniac first cousin of the Marlboro Man, which makes me giggle because this episode aired only a couple of months after Alyson Hannigan and Alexis Denisof got engaged. Wes asks if the call of magic brought her there, and she chuckles a little as she points out that Fred phoned. Wes looks at Fred and his face softens as he realises that she’s called in the only person besides a nineteenth century gypsy who’s reensouled Angel. Willow flirts with Fred a little, and Wes’ eyes dart back and forth between them in confusion.

Lor: It’s pretty bullshit that Fred wouldn’t tell everyone she called Willow. But okay.

K: Willow asks where Cordy is, and Connor says angrily that she’s recovering from a crossbow injury and isn’t up for visitors. Wes insists because they have a history together. Cut to Cordevilia’s room. Connor sullenly shows Willow in, then loiters in the doorway until Cordevilia tells him to leave. She and Willow catch up, and it’s reminiscent of when Amy got deratted in season 6:

Lor: It’s also fun to note the slight role reversal here.

K: Willow quickly adds that she got better from being ultimate evil. They share a little eyeroll about Faith being in a coma again before Cordevilia asks if she’s seen Angelus yet. Willow says that she’s avoiding him because BAD MEMORIES YO. She’s relieved she doesn’t have to be in the same room as him when she puts his soul back. Cordevilia asks if she can do it, gripping a huge kitchen knife under the bedclothes. Willow says that it was the first spell she learnt, and she’s not likely to forget it in a hurry.

Cordevilia asks how they’re going to find the soul in a bottle, and Willow agrees that’s kind of a sticking point because the bottle is impervious to magic – she already tried a locator spell and got nothing. Under the covers, Cordevilia loosens her grip on the knife. “Tough nut to crack…” she says. That gives Willow an idea, and her face lights up. Cordevilia clutches at her knife again. Willow stands, pacing as she thinks out loud – they can use magic to crack the glass around the soul releasing it into the ether so they can do the reensouling spell. Cordevilia starts to pull the knife out, asking Willow to pass her a glass of water from the bedside table. But Willow’s too busy thinking, and rushes out the door with excitement. As the door shuts behind her, the knife slams into it. Cordevilia slumps back onto her pillows in disgust.

Faith’s room. Lorne tells her that he’s seen lots of girls go through this and that it will be over soon. He takes her hand and sings to her. The song throws us back into the most fabulous Terrible Wig Flashback EVER – 1970s Angel. He walks in the door and I am laughing so hard that I literally can’t breathe. THIS EPISODE IS MAGICAL.

Lor: I just don’t get why his terrible wigs have to be gravity defying. WHY CAN’T THEY JUST LAY FLAT ON HIS HEAD?

Sweeney: BECAUSE THEY’D BE LESS MAGICAL AND GLORIOUS THAT WAY. AMAZING. (Also I’m betting it’s because DB still has his shit ton of hair gel on underneath the wigs.)

K: Highly likely. I can’t. I just…ohmigod.

Anyway, Disco!Angel walks into the diner and over to the jukebox. He makes a selection as Angelus makes this magical disgusted expression, which I shall henceforth use as a reaction gif:

Faith laughs because Angel is emotional grooving out to Barry Manilow’s “Mandy.”Angel loving Barry Manilow is my favourite piece of random continuity in this show. Angelus tells her that the concerts were the WORST. A couple walk past Angel and he stares after them, longingly. Angelus bitches that every time Angel gets close to people, he’s the one who gets murdery feelings. Faith tells him that it’s not his body, it’s Angel’s, but he replies that it’s not that simple – no matter what, no matter how deep they shove him, he’s always there.

Angel sits down at the counter and the clerk pours him some coffee. Just then, the diner door opens and a man walks in. He fires a shot into the air, causing Angel to jump, and demands money. The clerk nervously goes to the drawer but gets flustered. The robber shoots him and runs out. (L: Without the money? Worst. Robbery. Ever.) Angel goes to the man’s side and tells him that everything will be okay. Angelus mocks from the sidelines, treating it like a cheesy soap opera. There’s a buzzing noise, and Angelus waves his arms like he’s trying to swat a fly as he asks what the noise is.

Cut to the Hyperion, where Cordevilia is holding a glowy crystal and telling Angelus to heed her warning and wake up. Down in the lobby, Willow’s peering into a bubbling jar. She happily tells Wes that it’s working, and he asks how she can use Delothrian’s Arrow to break the jar seeing as it’s meant to protect good magicks and the jar is a holy object. She tells him that it’s just glass, and the sacred part is what’s inside. She makes a joke, and he doesn’t react, then says that maybe his sense of humour is stuck in a jar somewhere. He goes on, saying that he’s changed, he’s seen darkness inside himself, that she couldn’t understand, and the whole thing is magical, so here – have a gifset:

Lor: We know that Willow has struggled majorly with what she’s done and continues to struggle to find the balance even now. I love this comparison to Wesley because even though she’s done wrong, for totally legit reasons, she came back and didn’t act like a flaming douche pancake like certain someone we know. But that’s just Willow. And that’s why I love her.

Sweeney: It absolutely highlights why Willow > Wes, but I’d also add that it’s part Scoobies > Fang Gang too. It’s weird, given that we were just grumbling about their lack of cohesion, but it’s a combination of individual and group forces that took these two in such different directions after their respective periods of darkness. Wes failed to take responsibility, but the gang also wasn’t interested in forgiveness the way the Scoobies were. It’s all the more frustrating because the whole working together thing was the entire fucking point of this show in the beginning. I miss that so hard.

K: Sorry, Sweeney, but I’m too busy laughing over Lor’s “flaming douche pancake” to focus on your point…

Willow then asks for Fred’s backstory, because those little things include lesbianism.

Magical Wig Flashback. Disco!Angel apologises to the clerk, who’s quietly bleeding to death on the floor, then steps up and moves towards the door. Faith asks if Angel has to pay for everything because this totally wasn’t his fault. “Choices, little girl. The ones you make with your heart of hearts,” Angelus replies. Angel reaches the door but instead of leaving, he locks it and turns back towards the clerk’s body. Faith is horrified. Angel vamps out and starts to drink from the clerk as Faith’s neck starts to bleed. Angelus tells her that she’s a murderer and should know how good the blurry line between right and wrong tastes. Angel screams as we fade to black.

After the Not Commercial Break, Lorne dabs tears from Faith’s face and says that she’s going to die soon. He tells Connor that he can hold Faith’s hand if he wants, but Wes walks in. Connor tells Wes that he did the right thing, that Faith’s died in battle. Wes simply replies “It’s time,” before walking out. Connor follows. Out in the lobby, Fred’s walking around in a circle carrying a candle and ringing a bell. Willow tells Gunn that all she has to do is contact the spirit world and they’re well on their way to breaking the jar. Gunn heads downstairs to wait with Angelus.

Wes comes in and asks if Willow’s ready. She nods. Just then, a bolt of orange light hits Willow, flinging her across the room. From her bedroom, Cordevilia, in her Beastmaster voice, tells Willow to butt out. Willow mutters a spell and Cordevilia “bitch, please”s her. Willow shouts a spell which causes Cordevilia’s glowing crystal to blow up and Cordevilia to bite her tongue. Wes tells Willow that it’s the Beast’s master, who’s extremely powerful. Willow’s eyes turn black and she starts to cast the bottle breaking spell. Cordevilia knocks her down with another bolt. Connor’s concerned that Willow can’t handle it, but Wes says she can as she casts again and the ground starts to shake, making the lights flicker. Faith’s room. Lorne tells her that the gang will get Angel back and it will all be worth it. He doesn’t sound convinced. Just then, Faith bolts upright, gasping.

Terrible Wig Flashback. Faith sits up on a pile of rubbish in a dark alley. Angelus sasses at her about how she’s nearly dead, but she has no fucks to give. She tells him that he’s about to get what’s coming to him as we get a quick cut of Black Eyed Willow casting. Angelus says that he has friends in high places, so it’s not going to happen. Down the alley, 1990s!Angel knocks over a rubbish bin in his rush to grab and eat a rat. Angelus mopes about how gross things were after Disco!Angel ate the dead clerk – nothing but rats for 20 years. Faith points out that he was paying for what he did, and Angelus wants to know why the hell he has to live through it again. “Maybe ’cause it’s not about you, jackass,” Angel says from down the alley.

Lor: Damn, I’m super distracted by the hair. What’s happening? Never mind. I’ll rewind.

K: Hyperion. The hotel shakes again, and Connor says that there’s something evil rising. Um, DUH? Cut upstairs to Cordevilia, who’s muttering a spell with cloudy vision eyes. A giant floating demon head appears in the lobby, but Willow tells them to ignore it. I agree, because it’s pretty fake looking. She finishes her spell, which sends a glowing ball of metal off in search of the bottle. Upstairs, Cordevilia flings out a hand to stop it. It takes all her energy to hold it, and she mutters that she wishes it was a few weeks later. Willow issues more commands to her glow ball when Fred realises that Connor’s gone. He’s running through the halls to Cordevilia’s room. He bangs on the door, which breaks her concentration, and Willow’s glowy ball shatters the bottle, freeing the soul. Cordevilia swears.

Terrible Wig Alley. Angelus gets pissed about Angel getting to talk and stuff. Faith tells Angel that his terrible wig is terrible because YUP. Angel wants to know why she’s still there, and she says she needs to see Angelus get put back in his place. Angelus, who’s realised that he can now make contact with people, kicks her and she falls to the ground. “She’s not who you’re after,” Angel tells him. Angelus says that she’s just the icing on the cake, and they start to fight. Fade to black.

After the Not Commercial Break, the fight continues as Angel tells Faith that she needs to get up and stop saying that she’s dying because dying’s the easy way out – redemption is the hard way. Right, because we don’t have enough redemption arcs going on in Buffy right now… He tells Faith that he’s not perfect, that even with a soul he’s done things he regrets. “Yeah, like those Manilow concerts, you son of a bitch!” Angelus yells as he throws Angel down the alley. He kicks Faith, and in the hotel room Lorne looks on in horror as a bleeding cut appears on Faith’s face.

Lor: This is the worst trip ever. Don’t do mystical drugs, kids! Official #SnarkLadyAdvice

Sweeney: Saving lives since 2011.

K: We’re so good at giving advice.

Upstairs, Connor breaks down Cordevilia’s door, which is barricaded with a chest of drawers. She smashes a lamp on his head then cries, claiming that she thought the floaty demon head was back because she and the baby nearly died. Bitch, please. With the exception of the chest of drawers and the broken lamp, your room is immaculate. (L: A+) She tells Connor that Willow’s spell must have let something evil in, and he says that he’ll go make Willow stop. Cordevilia says Willow’s too powerful and to kill Angelus instead.

Lobby. Willow’s preparing to channel Angel’s soul into the Orb of Thesulah. Fred says that Connor shouldn’t have run off, and Wes tells her that he’s probably just worried about Cordy. “Do you ever think their relationship is maybe a little bit…icky?” Fred asks, and YES OH MY GOD SO MUCH YES. IT IS THE ICKIEST OF ALL ICKIES. Willow starts casting as upstairs Cordevilia tries to convince Connor that killing Angelus isn’t just protecting her and their baby, it’s protecting the entire world. He looks torn, but it could be that he’s distracted over the terrifying amount of side boob Cordevilia is displaying.

Sweeney: It’s all part of her diabolical plan.

K: Terrible Wig Alley. Angel yells at Faith to wake up. She half does, and says that it’s an exchange – she dies so that he can live. He replies that he used to think it would be like that, that there’d be a point where he’d paid for what he’d done. Angelus hits him with a wheel and yells in frustration “Anybody notice a battle with your alter-ego going on here?!” LOL. Hyperion. Connor walks down the hallway in slow motion as a voiceover conversation between him and Cordevilia informs us that he’s not going to tell the others what he’s about to do, and also that Cordevilia can remove the sanctuary spell. He watches from the landing as Willow continues casting.

Terrible Wig Alley. Angel stops fighting Angelus and crosses to kneel by Faith. He tells her that their time is never up, that you can always seek redemption:

Lobby. Willow keeps chanting, her eyes black. The Orb of Thesulah starts to glow. Connor walks into the basement and knocks Gunn out. Terrible Wig Alley. Angel tells Faith that she has to fight. Angelus grabs a metal pipe and knocks Angel away from Faith. He talks about how he won’t miss all the moralising before saying that he can smell their soul in the ether and it’s time to send it to “that big puppy rescue in the sky.” “Arf arf, psycho,” says Faith from behind him. That line is so hilariously awful that I can’t even.

Lor: I thought maybe, “Yeah, like those Manilow concerts, you son of a bitch!” would win for hilariously awfully amazing line, but “arf, arf” takes the cake. It takes the bakery.

Sweeney: It’s the sort of hilariously awful that doubles back around to become wonderful. ARF ARF, PSYCHO!

K: EXACTLY. I think I’m going to start using it out of context to confuse people. (L: I just made it a tag.) (K: NEW FAVOURITE TAG EVER.) Angelus swings at her, but she vanishes.

Hyperion. Faith awakes with a start, and sprints out of the room without missing a beat. In the lobby, the Orb glows brighter as Willow keeps chanting. In the Terrible Wig Alley, Angel and Angelus start to regenerate, Doctor Who style, and merge into one being with Terrible Wig Hair. Hyperion basement. “Need you to fight,” Angel mutters. Connor, kneeling over him, raises a stake. Faith appears, grabbing Connor’s wrist and throwing him against the cage wall. She and Connor fight as Wes, Fred and Lorne rush down the stairs. She kicks Connor across the room, and he lands near the cage. Angel reaches through the bars, grabbing Connor’s neck, and tells him that he’s back and it’s over.

Lor: Watching Faith throw Connor around was about as satisfying as Willow just being around.

K: YUP. And Gunn agrees. Later, Faith walks out of the hotel to stand next to Angel. He asks how she’s feeling, and she replies “Like I did mushrooms and got eaten by a bear.” Apparently Youth Mauling Bear doesn’t approve of drugs, y’all! She says that she’s heading to Sunnydale, because that’s where she’s needed based on what Willow’s told her. He tells her to never stop fighting, and apologises that they didn’t get to hang out more. She smiles and shrugs, and they head back inside.

Inside, Connor’s sitting on the couch sulking, Gunn standing over him with his arms crossed. Connor admits that he messed up, and WHY THE FUCK HAS NO ONE JOINED THE DOTS ON CORDY YET?!?!?! Fuck, you people are slow. Faith bids a high five-y farewell to Gunn and a stoic British farewell to Wes. As they walk in from the office, Fred hands Willow a book and says that it’s got useful stuff in it about the Hellmouth. Willow thanks her and Fred gushes that she’d like to talk to Willow about a codex at some point, and Willow quickly says that she’s seeing someone. Fred looks confused as Faith and Angel share a look:

Lor: WILLOW AND FRED. Willow and Fred >>> Willow/Kennedy and Fred and males.

Sweeney: YES. I SHIP IT.

K: ME TOO. Meanwhile, I’m gif staring, trying to work out if Faith’s expression at the end is best classified as “awkward turtle” or “WTF?”. Either way, it’s adorable. Willow hugs Angel and says that she’ll tell Buffy he said hi. She and Faith leave, and Angel turns to the Fang Gang. He starts to deliver a rally the troops speech, but Cordevilia comes down the stairs in an all black trampy, pregnant belly bearing outfit. If she were still in school, I’d give her a #hosuspension. “Sorry, Angel. But if this is the speech about how the worst is behind us, you may want to save it for later.” The gang stare at her in horror. Fade to black.

For the most part, I really loved this episode. Faith’s plan to take down Angelus was great, Willow turning up was magical, and Angelus having to relive Angel’s good deeds made me LOL repeatedly. Plus, Faith beating Connor’s ass? AMAZING. Disco!Angel was quite possibly the greatest thing to ever happen on this show, aside from Alyson Hannigan and Alexis Denisof having scenes together. This was, in fact, one of the very few episodes which I remembered from watching the show the first time around, and it will probably rank near the top of the list when we wrap up the season in a few weeks time. That said, the “no one realising that Cordy is evil” thing is dragging on a little too long, and I kind of want to knock all their heads together as a result…

Lor: I have nothing to say about plot development or continuity or any of that shit because I’m pretty over it. So, I don’t know if any of this made sense and I have no deep thinky, thoughts, but this was pretty damn fun. Willow brought a little bit of the sense of humor that Buffy is so good at that Angel got rid of in order to be darker and edgier. It was a nice break, considering that darker and edgier this season basically amounted to suckier and stupider.

Sweeney: All of this. I’ve stopped trying to make shit make sense. LET’S JUST HAVE CROSSOVER MAGIC FUNTIMES ALL THE TIME.

Lor: I’m pretty relieved to have Angel back and Cordelia’s pregnancy finally in the open, but I’m almost sure this show will find a way to make me regret those words.

K: You have no idea…

 

Next time on Angel: Gwen’s back! Who cares what else happens. Find out the details in S04 E16 – Players.