Previously: The entire series got retconned to be about knocking Cordy up, and also her baby was born and turned out to be Gina Torres. What.
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Shiny Happy People
Kirsti: Gina Torres gushes about how wonderful the gross warehouse is while Connor – still covered in blood – and Angel fawn over her. She kneels next to a comatose Cordy and thanks her for having her free will taken away so that she could exist protecting her. She tells her to be at peace, then gushes some more about how perfect everything is. There’s one thing that’s not perfect, Angel interjects. And that’s the fact that he came there to kill her. He hands her his sword and says that he deserves to be punished. She takes it and says that she can feel his suffering, but that the suffering ends now. He drops his head, bracing himself for the blow, but it never comes. He looks up to find her gone. Cue Electric Cellos.
After the credits, Fred’s scurrying around the office, cleaning up fallen books as Lorne watches and sips a cocktail because he’s the only sane character in this show. He tells her to stop because she’s making him twitchy. There’s a buzzing sound from downstairs, and Fred jumps but Lorne says it’s just Wes and Gunn dismembering Skip in the basement. Fred points out that there’s been a little too much dismembering going on at the Hyperion recently, then jumps through half a dozen trains of thought – why couldn’t the Beastmaster pick someone evil, why isn’t Angel back, does Lorne think he found them, what if it was too late, what if Angel killed Cordy. Lorne follows only loosely.
Suddenly, Fred runs out into the lobby carrying a dagger. Lorne rushes after her. She holds the dagger to Connor’s throat and tells him to drop the knife he’s holding. He says that he was just going to put it away, like she always tells him to, and she gets confused. From the offscreen, Angel tells her that it’s okay and that Connor’s with him so not evil any more. Cordy’s lying on the couch, and Fred runs over to her. Angel tells them that she’s not dead, but in a peaceful place. Uh, that kinda sorta sounds like dead to me…
Sweeney: See, she’s not dead except for the part where she’s dead. Duh.
Lorraine: She’s also naked except for that evil outfit. For the record.
K: Both valid points.
Wes and Gunn rush in from the basement wearing demon blood stained boiler suits. Fred notes that Cordy’s not pregnant, and Angel smilingly agrees. After confirming that it was actually born, Gunn asks if Angel killed it. He replies in the negative, then sits down on the steps and starts crying because Gina Torres didn’t even say goodbye. They ask for a description, and Connor tells them that his baby has two legs, one head and is mocha coloured. Also, they need to find her. The Fang Gang agree, and head to the weapons cabinet. Connor and Angel inform them that no, they’re not going to kill Gina Torres, because she’s saved them and they want to worship her. They’re both smiling slightly creepily throughout. Wes informs Angel that he’s under some kind of spell and to remember that it’s evil.
Sweeney: I LOL’d hard. This was the moment, for me, when we crossed the so-bad-it’s-awesome threshold. All right, show. I’m gonna roll with this shit. Wes explaining that it’s clearly a spell and this shit’s cray while Angel just smirked felt like the show representing our conversation with it. “LOL, yes. ENCHANTED.” Perfect.
K: From offscreen, Gina Torres announces that she’s going to rectify all the evil done in her name. The Fang Gang spin around, then all fall to their knees when they see her, looks of bliss and wonder on their faces. She says that she’d like to help them stop drowning in fighting and pain. Wes asks what they need to do.
Cordy’s room. The Fang Gang light candles around Cordy, who’s now laid out in her bed. Fred says that Cordy must be so honoured to have given birth to Gina Torres, and while that’s a legit point because Gina Torres is gorgeous, I also imagine that giving birth to a six foot tall Amazon would kind of destroy your lady parts, so I’m guessing Cordy’s not really feeling honoured right now, wherever she may be. Does this count as a Tragic Magic Vagina occurrence? (S: Absolutely.) Anyway, Gina Torres says that’s she’s the honoured one, and that it’s great to be back. The gang, who are all kneeling in front of her, ask if this means she’s been there before, and she tells them that she has, but it was in the beginning and she left when Mayor-Sized Demons walked the earth.
She tells them that she’s wronged them by remaining a casual observer, so she arranged a miracle – here, she strokes Connor’s face – and came back. She tells them that the miracle occurred because of Lorne. He’s all “WHAAAAAAAAA??” on account of he didn’t have angry hate sex with Darla, but she clarifies that by sending Angel off on the trials to win Darla’s life back, he won a life. Just not for Darla. That, she says, is how Connor came to be. She tells them that all the buckets o’ crazy that’s been happening recently was labour pains, but now the storm is over and the sun can return. Starting, she says, by cleaning up the demons. And if they right all the evils done in her name, Cordy should wake up.
Lor: I love Gina. I do. But her soothing voice is working its magic on me too. I find myself zoning out while she talks. Just me?
K: Nope. Definitely not just you.
Cut to a bowling alley where a vampire is using a human head as a bowling ball. It’s – unsurprisingly – ineffective and doesn’t even reach the pins. He bitches at his friend for wanting to come to LA and for refusing to leave now that the sun’s back, but the friend insists that something is coming and that if they stay, they’ll be right in the middle of it. Obviously, the something that’s coming is the Fang Gang. The guys get to work, fighting and staking, as Fred and Gina Torres sit down for a girly chat. Gina Torres wants to know what her name should be, and Fred suggests she choose it herself. Gina Torres says that she has to obey the rules of earth and be named by those who love her. A vampire jumps through and scratches her arm. Fred cries and says it’s her fault for not protecting Gina Torres, and Angel chases the vampire out of the bowling alley and into the street. Angel stakes him in the middle of a busy cafe, startling the patrons, including a young guy who got scratched by the vampire. But Gina Torres appears, and they all fall to the ground and idolise her.
Sweeney: This show, man. This show.
K: Meanwhile, I’m counting the episodes until it’s over…
She tells them to stand – the opposite of Loki – and smiles at them as she says that everything will be okay now. They’ll be freed from their pain and harmony will reign. Thank God it’s not Harmony who’ll reign. There aren’t enough ceramic unicorns on earth to keep her happy… Anyway, they all worship some more, except for the guy who got scratched by the vampire. He grabs a knife and launches himself at Gina Torres, saying that she’s a monster who has to die. Angel vamps out and pummels the guy as we fade to black.
After the Not Commercial Break, Angel’s still punching. Gina Torres tells him to chillax, and he de-vamps and backs off. She strokes the man’s face as he cries and yells at her to stay away. Wes leaves to call an ambulance as Gina Torres says that the man is full of fear and anger and that he’ll always be alone. They won’t though, because they all have each other. Everyone smiles.
Back at the hotel, the gang are all suggesting names for Gina Torres. They range from the sane – Gunn’s suggestion of Helen – to the LOL-tastically insane – Wes’ “Aristophilia“, which sounds like something you get arrested for. (L: LOL. Life in prison for three counts of aristophilia for sure.) Fred comes downstairs, and says “Clorox.” The guys decide that they should stay away from brand names. But Fred informs them that the Clorox is to get the blood out of Gina Torres’ shirt from where the vampire attacked her. Gina Torres says it’s not important, but Fred insists that it is. Gina Torres says that it was actually kind of interesting to feel pain and shit, so whatevs. Fred yells “CLUB SODA!” and runs off towards the laundry room.
Sweeney: I thought all of this was an interesting, subtle bit of crossover magic. Gina Torres shared her whole Old Ones story which fits well enough with The First. Add that to this bit about humans and feeling – that’s what we just heard The First waxing poetic about in our last Buffy episode as well. Humans get to feel things – it’s our one edge.
Lor: This must mean that Team Feels has an edge on top of the edge. BOOM.
K: I’ll be on my ottoman, sulking about my lack of edge.
Wes and Gunn chuckle a little, and Gina Torres tells them that their mutual love of Fred should bring them closer, not drive them apart. Which supports my theory that it would be a fabulous twist on the love triangle storyline if the two guys chose each other, whether in a bromance way or a sexytimes way. (L: Let’s write that YA story together.) (K: YES. OBVS.) Anyway, Connor walks in with bandages for Gina Torres’ arm, but the wound has already healed. Connor asks why the man wanted to hurt her, and Gina Torres says it’s because some people can’t handle change, which leads to hatred, either of others or themselves.
Cut to the garden. Angel’s sitting tearily on his own. Gina Torres sniffs the air, and he tells her that it’s jasmine. She says the jasmine is nightblooming, lonely and beautiful, just like him. I call ANGEL IS HANDSOME shots solely because we all need the booze to get through the rest of the season.
He says that he shamed her by nearly beating the guy to death, but she tells him that it’s okay. He’s worried that he’ll fail her again. She tells him to let go of the anger towards his soul, but he says he can’t because happiness leads to Angelus. He’s nearly crying by this point. She tells him that their deeds will eradicate all evil, even Angelus. She has faith in him, her general, and in each of her Fang Gang warriors.
Sweeney: I hope Angel is faking it. The acting was campy bad. Please tell me he’s faking it. My first guess was that Wesley was faking it with his delayed kneel. Maybe he is and can actually act. (L: SAME!) It would be a pity for the Angel/art OTP if Angel were this bad at acting, though, so never mind all of this. Let it just be DB’s struggle and call it a day.
Lor: My guess is that the campiness of all this has something to do with the enchantment? Like something about Gina Torres’s control makes people act like they are acting like bad versions of themselves. Yeah.
K: I’m gonna stick with blaming bad writing.
That throws us into a montage of the Fang Gang fighting evil as Gina Torres voiceovers about how she’ll be with them every step of the way and they’ll never be alone again. Except Fred’s not with them – it seems a woman’s place is in the home cleaning blood from shirts. She scrubs and scrubs at the stain, her hands getting raw. The music gets superhero-y, so I call AVENGERS SHOTS.
Lor: Damn, girl. You are getting really liberal with these shots.
K: I do what I have to in order to get through this crap, yo.
Hyperion. A newsreader says that murders are suddenly down and Angel, who’s wearing a vile and very out of character white and yellow striped shirt, sulks about not getting the credit. Lorne walks in and tells Gina Torres that he has a surprise for her. She follows him upstairs with a giggle. Behind her, the guys gush over how wonderful she is. Fred walks in carrying a shirt and asks how it looks. Wes tells her it looks brand new, and she breaks down as she says that it is. They reassure her that Gina Torres will love it, but she’s not crying because of that. She’s crying because Gina Torres isn’t there, and she feels empty inside as a result.
Upstairs, Lorne’s surprise is that he’s decorated a room for Gina Torres. She’s thrilled with it, but the combination of ugly patterned hotel carpet and leopard print furniture is grossing me out. Lorne leaves, but Connor paces outside the door. She tells him to share his troubles with the class, and he says that he doesn’t deserve to be happy because he’s done terrible things to people. She says that she’s been watching him his whole life (so…like 18 months?) and that he deserves all the happiness. “Why me?” he asks. She tells him that she chose him to be her father (EW), and he mopes that Angel is the champion. SHOTS!! She tells him that it’s his destiny to transform the world.
Just then, Fred walks in. She stares down at the shirt, saying that she scrubbed until her fingers bled but she couldn’t get the blood stain out. With that, she looks up at Gina Torres and sees not Gina Torres’ face, but a decaying body filled with maggots and GODDAMMIT IT HAS NO EYES JUST BIG HOLES FILLED WITH MAGGOTS WHY DOES THE BUFFYVERSE HATE ME SO MUCH. Fade to black.
Sweeney: WHY DO YOU HATE US SO MUCH YOU INCLUDED THIS GIF? WHY DOES THIS TUMBLR USER HATE HAPPINESS ENOUGH TO HAVE MADE THIS GIF?
Lor: EVERYONE HATES EVERYONE AND THE WORLD IS UNFAIR.
K: Truth. Mostly I used that gif because it was one of two things that came up when I searched for this episode in Tumblr and if I had to see it, so did you all. Sorry not sorry that I had to share the pain.
After the Not Commercial Break, Fred stares in horror as Maggoty!Gina Torres asks if she’s okay. She starts to cry, and Connor says he’ll get her a glass of water. But she won’t let him leave the room. The others walk in after hearing the noise, and Fred covers by saying that she’s crying because she was thinking about how much life would suck without Gina Torres. She says that she needs time alone to “count my blessings” and runs out.
She heads to Cordy’s room, and tells Cordy that she’s worried that the “scary, headachey pukiness” Lorne saw when he read her was true, and that they don’t know how to fight it, not even Angel. Angel appears and says that he’s knows what she’s thinking. About how when you look in Gina Torres’ eyes, it’s over whelming, all the evil and lies…just melt away. Fred’s face falls as he says the last bit. She says that it’s so different to what they were expecting, and Angel’s all “Ain’t it nice to be wrong?” She wants to know why they all just do what she says without asking questions, but Angel says that’s the best part because it makes life simple. Fred awkwardly smiles.
Lor: Ruined for life alert: When Christian Grey was trying to convince Ana to enter into their contracted relationship, one of his selling points is that she wouldn’t have to think so much. ‘Cause she was bad at it. Evil is always the same.
K: A+.
Cut to a hospital. Fred asks after the guy from the cafe, and after a very awkward cover story, she’s directed to the psychiatric unit. She sneaks through the locked door and into the guy’s room. She asks if he’s got a history of psychiatric problems, and he tearily tells her to leave him alone. She says that she’s seen Gina Torres’ true face too, and he asks “Did it touch you?” She’s confused, so he turns his face towards her, revealing that where Gina Torres touched him, his face is now all pustule-y and a little demon-esque. Fred’s horrified. He begs her to untie him so that he can finish it. He says that they’ve been called to the mission and it’s their job to answer. Fred awkwards that it’s her boss’ job to get called to the mission, she’s just the one who answers the phone. Man, I miss the Fred who invented an axe throwing suitcase… Her phone rings – Angel wondering where she is – and she hurries out of the room. Demon Face Boy yells after her not to trust anyone.
Sweeney: UGH. AXE-THROWING-SUITCASE!FRED. I do too. She’s a prime example of the underwhelming arc problems – ways in which the writers squandered potential – that some of you were discussing in the comments last time. I do appreciate this, “I don’t get called,” bit, though, because her researchy skills have always been regarded as secondary to Wesley’s (even though she’s a fucking genius) and she’s got no demonic ties so her feelings of inferiority make sense here. They played this recently with Gunn, too – the I’m-just-the-muscle thing. It occurs to me now that this was a major missed opportunity with their relationship – instead of playing all the cutesy bullshit, we could have seen how they shared similar insecurities and built each other up or something of that sort. In short: endless squandered potential.
K: SO MUCH OMG.
Fred walks back into the hotel to find the lobby packed with people. Lorne informs her that Gina Torres went out for a walk and all these people just followed her home. Fred looks concerned. She finds Wes, talking to a group of strangers, and pulls him aside. She asks if he’d trust her if she tells him something, even if it’s something that he doesn’t want to know, and he tells her that he would. Fred quickly tells him that she went to see Demon Face Boy and that they both saw something. From the landing, Gunn watches them talk. Wes tells Fred that she did the right thing by coming to him, and that he’s going to help her.
Gina Torres walks onto the landing and the crowd applaud. Fred watches from the lobby as Wes goes upstairs and whispers something to Gunn. They both creepy stare at her. Wes whispers to Connor, Angel and Gina Torres, while Gunn heads downstairs and whispers to Lorne. Fred backs up against the weapons cabinet, grabbing a crossbow as they all turn and stare at her. “I’m sorry,” she says as she points it at Gina Torres and pulls the trigger. Fade to black.
After the Not Commercial Break, Angel leaps over the balustrade in front of Gina Torres, and cops the arrow in his shoulder. Connor leaps after him, and they land heavily on the lobby floor. Wes rushes downstairs after them. Fred grabs a knife and holds it at Lorne’s throat. She swears that she’ll kill him if they come any closer, and Gina Torres informs her that there’s nowhere for her to run – “My love will follow you everywhere“. Fred shoves Lorne towards the others and runs out the door. Angel goes to follow, but Gina Torres tells him to let her go. They’re gathered in peace, and Fred can’t take that from them.
The Tinkly Keyboard (not to be confused with the Tinkly Piano – the latter is much sadder than the former) of Feels does its thing as we watch Fred drive through the night, checking her rear vision mirror to make sure she’s not being followed. Eventually, she pulls over and breaks down crying.
Sweeney: A lot of that this episode. Amy Acker has done a great job playing the distinct nuances of Fred’s many varieties of emotional overwhelm.
K: True! Back at the hotel, the Sausage Fest Gang are shocked that Fred’s evil. Gina Torres says that Murdery Fred isn’t what she wanted people to see, but at least now everyone understands what hatred can do to a person. Angel walks in with a bouquet of jasmine, and says that they need to find Fred. He hands the flowers to Gina Torres and says that he and Connor can still track Fred with their super smelling powers. They head for the door, but she stops them. She knows they’re in pain, she says. Fred betrayed their trust. Wes can’t believe that she would have gone to see Demon Face Guy in hospital, and they come up with a bunch of ways that he could have manipulated her into getting murdery.
Angel says that they have to kill Fred – it’s the only way. Gina Torres says that they have to try and help her first, to try and get rid of the evil in her heart. Angel says they have to find her first and again heads for the door. Gina Torres stops him and says that they’ll wait for tomorrow because by then, they’ll have eyes everywhere.
Cut to a diner the following morning. Fred’s having breakfast and looking mopey, and DUDE. WHY THE FUCK DIDN’T YOU LEAVE THE CITY??? Like, head to Sunnydale for a start. Sure, Buffy’s got serious shit going on at the moment, but it’s better than staying in LA… (S: ALSO, YOU KNOW, HELP. One of the thousand times the lack of communication makes negative sense.)(L: Buffy just found an awesome axe! I’m sure it cuts through Gina Torres-es.) (K: YES. I mean, except that maybe she didn’t just find it on account of the episodes being all wonky, but WHATEVS.) Anyway, a breakfast show is playing on the TV. The host welcomes a very special guest – Jasmine, otherwise known as Gina Torres, who’s now wearing a clump of jasmine flowers in her hair. Fred looks at the TV in horror as Jasmine starts to tell the world about herself. Everyone in the diner kneels on the floor, staring at Jasmine. Fred leaves the diner to find the streets almost empty. Passing pedestrians see Jasmine through the diner window and kneel in the street. Fred walks alone through the silent streets as we fade to black.
There’s a LOT crammed into this episode, and it takes a while to wrap your head around it all. It’s weird to see the characters as happy, smiling people, just as it’s weird to see them all turning on Fred. But it’s the beginning of the end, so it’s kind of unsurprising that the Big Bad has finally made an appearance. For me, there are too many similarities to Glory. Sure, there are major differences to Jasmine’s character, but at the end of the day it feels like we’ve been here and done this. At least there’s going to be a point to Fred’s presence again now?
Sweeney: I actually disagree in that I didn’t get a Glory vibe at all. Glory was all about the superstrength and rallying her own minions and what not. Other than quick healing, I’ve yet to see any of that in Gina Torres. The hypnosis factor will certainly get annoying if they drag it out too long, but for now it plays. Mostly, I liked the humans/feeling/old ones crossover magic element. Also, also: the show and I have officially entered the sort of cracked out crazy, “I don’t know what I’m watching but I can’t turn away from the trainwreck,” zone, which is a nice departure from, “UGH WHY?” which is how I felt most of this season when it came time to watch a new episode.
Lor: I don’t think I’m there yet. It’s taken 18 episodes for Gina to get here, and it felt about as long as normal, 40-week pregnancy. It’ll admit that I am interested to see where Fred will go after this, and how exactly the Gang will break the influence of such a powerful being.
It was nice to see how everyone reacts to Gina in their own ways, though the best example of this is Lorne decorating a room for her. Good, trust Lorne.
K: To clarify, I meant similarities between Glory and Jasmine in the “all powerful Old One/deity/thing who just wants to rule everything” way, more than a “how they display their power” way. But also, I know the future, y’all. And it’s not looking bright.
Next time: Jasmine’s influence continues to spread as Fred stands alone. Can she make her friends see the truth? Find out on Angel S04 E19 – The Magic Bullet.
I'm a 30-something librarian and I still live with my parents because I'm super broke. Leader of Team Heartless Cow. I have an inexplicable love for 90s television, eat too much chocolate, and read more than is good for me.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
Nicole is the co-captain of Snark Squad and these days she spends most of her time editing podcasts. She spends too much time on Twitter and very occasionally vlogs and blogs. In her day job she's a producer, editor, director, and sometimes host of educational YouTube channels. She loves travel, maps, panda gifs, and semicolons. Writing biographies stresses her out; she crowd sourced this one years ago and has been using a version of it ever since. She would like to thank Twitter for their help.
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