Previously: A father-son fishing trip ended in Pacey Feels. Plus, Jen and Joey bonded or something.
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His Leading Lady
Kirsti: Shrine o’ Spielberg. Dawson flails over the fact that he and Joey have made it through their first post-break up movie night while Joey drinks Diet Coke because sponsorship is important. She makes noises about leaving, but he wants her to help him pick the actress who’ll play Sammy (read: loosely disguised Joey) in his new shitty movie. Joey suggests finding someone who can make the role less like her, but Dawson’s all “LOL NOPE”. She’s surprised by how okay he is about everything between them, and he says that as she’s dating Jack and has clearly moved on, he can let go. This makes her sad panda and I headdesk. She leaves.
I DON’T WANNA WAIT.
After the credits, Joey’s in life drawing class. The teacher praises her work, and then Dawson creeps in because DUDE WHAT THE FUCK. (D: This is the creepiest of Dawson’s Creeps.) Joey says basically the same, and he stares at the model’s boobs as he says he desperately needed to give Joey his new script. The teacher, who has the most terrifying haircut of ever, tells Dawson to GTFO. He trips over things on his way out, and the model, RACHAEL LEIGH COOK WTF, smirks. I shall henceforth call her Laney Boggs, because of reasons.
Imagine if she said this to Dawson. AMAZING.
Democracy Diva: Necessary She’s All That reference is necessary. You’re doing gifs right.
K: Thank you. Cut to Andie’s room. Pacey’s flipping through women’s magazines and worrying about the state of his butt. He stares at it in the mirror and says “You know, it’s no wonder we have such an obsession with the posterior. It’s impossible to get a good sense of one’s own butt, you know?” Yeah, especially in those 90s pants… Andie smirks at his adorableness, then lurks in the bathroom to take her meds. The Tinkly Piano does its thing. She returns to the bedroom and Pacey goes to the bathroom to grab a tissue. He spots the empty prescription bottle in the rubbish bin, and looks thoughtful.
Meanwhile, Dawson’s at the college library. Remember how we all laughed hysterically over Sunnydale having a zoo and an international airport and a port? Yeah, Capeside has a university. He bumps into Laney Boggs (actual name: Devon) and marvels over her ability to pose naked. She says she’s a drama major and she looks on it as acting practice. Dawson’s all “ORLY, AN ACTRESS??” and he wibbles about his made-with-award-money movie that’s filming in two days and doesn’t yet have a lead. He hands her a script, which apparently fitted in the pocket of his giant 90s pants, and tells her to get in touch when she’s read it.
Chez Grams. Jen’s panicking about the lack of snacks for their filming session, but conveniently Grams arrives home with groceries and a cute boy. It’s very obvious that she’s playing matchmaker, but he’s so cute that Jen doesn’t care. (D: He is just a tall drink of white-bread deliciousness. I wouldn’t have cared either.) Apparently he wants to help out on the movie, and Jen asks if he’s had any experience working on a film set before. I laugh and laugh because GIRL. It’s Capeside. Of course he hasn’t. Ty replies that he HAS had experience with theatre and also “You can use me however you want“. Jen smirks and bites her lip.
Diva: Uh, Grams is RIGHT THERE. Lock it up, you two.
K: SERIOUSLY. Shrine o’ Spielberg. Dawson and Pacey are moving all the Spielberg posters for filming while Pacey airs his concerns about Andie being on medication. DUDE, NO. (D: “My girlfriend is keeping a secret from me! I should tell that secret to other people; that will definitely give her reason to trust me!” Pacey, stop being bad at things.) Dawson, in the most sensible moment he’s ever had, suggests that Pacey talk to Andie about it. Pacey’s all “Nah” because he figures she’ll talk when she wants to. But in the meantime, he wants to help. Dawson suggests making his time with Andie as stress-free and fun as possible. Then Pacey looks around the room and suggests that filming your fictionalised autobiography in your own bedroom is creepy. YUP. Although there’s already that missing fourth wall to make filming easy, so…
Outside Leery Manor that night, Dawson’s setting up a mock version of his room. Laney Boggs walks up and tells him that she didn’t really love his angsty overly wordy script (LOL) and he’s all “K, RUDE. BYE.” She goes on to say that what she MEANS is that she got to the heart of the character. Dawson says she’s too short to play Joey Sammy.
Diva: Speaking for the short ladies: FUCK YOU, Dawson. Speaking for women who shouldn’t be denied professional opportunities because they dare to voice valid and reasonable opinions: FUCK YOU, Dawson. He seriously goes from YOU’RE PERFECT! to GET AWAY FROM MY MOVIE, DWARF WOMAN in the time it takes her to constructively criticize his film. It’s disgusting.
K: Excuse me while I cheer. Ranty Diva is my favourite Diva. She sasses about his inability to take criticism and turns to leave. He apologises and suggests they read a scene together. The scene they read is the post-beauty pageant thing where Joey told him that she didn’t want him to see her as beautiful when she was wearing make up and had fancy hair, because she was still just her. It’s basically verbatim, and Laney Boggs sounds and acts weirdly like Joey. Dawson is transfixed because he’s a one trick pony. Fade to black.
After the Not Commercial Break, we’re at the Icehouse. Joey tells Jack she has to take off early to help on the movie and he’s all “What a crazy random happenstance!” because Jen told him they were understaffed and he offered to help out too. Joey’s all “Well, shit” because it’s bound to get awkward. Speaking of awkward, she goes to serve a customer and it’s Laney Boggs, who just stares creepily at her, mimicking her movements and speech patterns. (D: THIS IS THE WEIRDEST.) After taking her order, Joey heads back inside and asks Jack to take over because CREEPY. He takes Laney Boggs her drink and, after ascertaining that he knows Joey, she asks him to tell her everything he knows about her. Jack gets “DUDE, NO” face.
Take your own advice, Laney Boggs.
D: A+. You did not oversell how awesome these gifs were in those emails to me, K.
K: I’m glad you approve. McPhee’s. Andie’s studying in the garden when Pacey turns up. My eyeballs immediately get destroyed by their collectively horrible outfits:
GOOD LORD.
Pacey asks about the prescription bottle, and Andie lies that it’s her mother’s. Pacey doesn’t believe her, and she reluctantly says that she started taking medication after Tim died and she didn’t say anything because she didn’t know how he’d react. It’s a moot point anyway because her doctor won’t renew her prescription unless she goes to therapy, which NOPE. (D: Yeah, that’s not how mental health care works.) Pacey says that therapy might not be such a bad idea, and makes her promise to tell him if she’s not okay. He’s concerned, despite her insistence that everything’s fine.
Leery Manor. Outside, Dawson runs through a scene with Laney Boggs, Chris and Jen, who’s standing in for a running-late Abby. (D: Abby is playing the Jen role, which is awkward and bound to be slut-shamey at some time in the future.) It’s the time Jen came to movie night and Joey was a total bitch, except Chris makes everything sound let’s-have-a-threesome-y, and Dawson gets pissed. Joey turns up and watches in shock at Laney Boggs playing Joey Sammy. Dawson spots her and introduces the two of them. Joey’s clearly weirded out by the whole thing, even though Laney Boggs’ weird behaviour from the previous day makes sense now. (D: I mean, it’s still pretty weird. We just now know that Laney isn’t mentally ill.) It only gets worse when Dawson leaves them to get to know each other, and Laney Boggs says she has dozens of questions for Joey, like whether she thinks Movie!Dawson and Movie!Joey are soulmates. Joey has a wiggins. Fade to black.
After the Not Commercial Break, we’re behind the camera as Laney Boggs and Chris act out a scene outside Capeside High. The camera lurches to one side because Jack knocked over a lighting rig.
Okay, this one’s a stretch. Shut up.
Diva: Whatever. I dig it.
K: How could I use She’s All That gifs without using that one?! I had to cram it in somewhere. Dawson pissily calls for a break, and Jen suggests that they actually get at least one shot done before taking a break. Andie, meanwhile, seems to have borrowed Buffy’s Overalls of Overall Sadness. Ty and Jen flirt a little, and it’s cute. Jack asks Joey if she’s okay with her life being turned into a movie, and she insists that Dawson’s over her. Jack’s all “Mmmhmm, SURE.” They kiss as BNL’s It’s All Been Done starts playing.
Obviously, that’s our cue for a montage of shooting, props work, Laney Boggs creepily copying Joey, Jack and Joey being adorable, Joey being creeped out by Laney Boggs, and the obligatory clapper board. Inside the school, Ty flirts with Jen a little more, then gives her a neck rub. She asks him out that night and he accepts.
Back outside, Laney Boggs and Chris assault Dawson with questions about why the my-girlfriend-kissed-another-guy fight is so stupid. An excellent question, and one that Dawson answers inadequately and in a Nice Guy way. Chris doesn’t understand why you’d be crushed over that situation, and Dawson stares creepily at Joey as he tearfully explains that it’s agony. You can’t breathe and there’s no way to relieve the pain. You’re stuck with it for life. Joey smiles and eyerolls in slow motion.
Laney Boggs heads inside to ask Sammy Joey to explain her anger in this scene. Because she’s not an angry person, so she’d like Joey to demonstrate. Joey, sadly, doesn’t reply like this:
Instead, she says that the anger is the fictional part of the story. Laney Boggs bitchily asks how Joey can date one guy while being in love with another, but Joey won’t take the bait. Jack comes up to break the tension, and Laney Boggs asks him what it’s like to be the rebound guy. Joey snaps: “Look, you annoying little third-rate wannabe, why don’t you take your irritating self and prey on someone who doesn’t see through your pathetic attempt to masquerade bitchiness as research?” Laney Boggs smirks, thanks Joey, and leaves as Joey hates herself for falling for it.
Diva: Does anyone else feel like the actress playing Abby had a scheduling conflict in this episode, and they just gave all her bitchy privacy-invading horrific personality disorder to Laney Boggs instead?
K: Entirely possible. Inside, Andie bitches to Laney Boggs for losing a hair clip. It was a prop, and Andie’s in charge of props, therefore she’s the one to blame if it doesn’t turn up again. Laney Boggs is bitchy, and Pacey gets worried over Andie’s increasing stress level. He pulls her aside and asks how he can help. She snaps that he keeps making everything about him, and says that he’s the expendable factor in her life at the moment. He begs her not to make such a rash decision when she’s stressed out, but she yells at him to leave her alone and storms off. Pacey sad pandas. It’s okay, Intern Pacey. The Snark Ladies will look after you. Now go get me a daiquiri.
D: And a backrub, because Intern Pacey is Adult Joshua Jackson and thus we’re allowed to hit on him without being statutory rape-y.
K: I approve of this plan. Outside, Joey watches Laney Boggs and Chris film the big fight scene with increasing discomfort. Dawson calls a cut, and says the shot was incredible. While Jen takes everyone off to set up the next shot, Joey pulls Dawson inside to a classroom. She demands to know why he wants to relive one of the worst experiences of her life on film, and says that while she’s happy that he’s over them, maybe she’s still healing. He snaps that she’s got a new boyfriend and has found her passion (crappy drawings of naked people), and all he’s got left is the movie. Joey calls said movie “self-indulgent“, which YUP. (D: THE MOST.) He yells some more about how the movie is all he’s got left, says he’s not over it, and storms out. Joey sighs tearily. Fade to black.
After the Not Commercial Break, Grams is helping clear up at the end of the day. Jen heads over to help and Grams tells her how proud she is of her for being the leader that kept everyone on track. Jen smiles and blushes. She says that when she was Jen’s age, women didn’t have many options. Now? You can be anything you want without a man by your side. Jen smirks. Ty wanders up and says he’s ready for their date. Grams flails a little, then tells Jen to have a good time.
Diva: Best Grams scene of all time. Just saying. I love feminist Grams.
K: The best Grams scene is coming up in a few episodes, Diva. Don’t get ahead of yourself. In the hall, Dawson shows up for his obligatory once-a-season moment of actually being a good friend, and asks Pacey what’s wrong. He says that he pushed Andie too hard and now she’s kind-of-maybe dumped him. Dawson’s advice is to let her go, like what he’s trying to do with Joey. Pacey disagrees though because he wants Andie and she needs him whether she knows it or not. He’s got no plans to let her go. It’s disturbingly possessive and oddly adorable all at the same time.
Cut to Jen and Ty walking down the street. She suggests getting something to eat, and he says that a friend of his is having a party, and they could stop by. Jen’s all “WHEEEEEEEEEE, PARTY!!!!”, but it turns out to be a bunch of God-botherers drinking Coke (obviously) and having Bible study. Jen awkward-turtles and looks creeped out, which is totally legit because you do NOT spring Bible-study on people.
Diva: I would have run out screaming.
K: Me too. McPhee’s. The doorbell rings and Andie rushes down in her bathrobe to answer the door. It’s Pacey, carrying a red rose. She slams the door in his face. He sad pandas for a moment as Bruce Springsteen starts (appropriately) singing Sad Eyes. Then he creeps around the side of the house and climbs up the trellis to Andie’s bedroom. She tells him to leave, then freaks when he slips a little. He hands her the rose and says that he’s not going to stay away because she needs him.
Creepy but adorable
Diva: I’m so glad you shared my internal dilemma of ALL OF THIS IS CREEPERSVILLE/BUT ALSO PACEY IS THE BEST AND THIS IS SORT OF SWEET.
K: So torn. So very very torn. Anyway, we know what Pacey says about her needing him is true because she’s borrowed Faith’s coma makeup and looks like crap.
Andie tells him he’s acting crazy and she has enough crazy people in her life right now. She tries to shut the window, but Pacey stops her. He says he’s a charter member of the Andie McPhee fan club, and that never wavers. She’s helped him so much, all he wants to do is help her in return. She says sadly that she just wants to feel better. He climbs through the window and says that they can get through it together. The Tinkly Piano strikes up as she tearfully asks how he knows that. “Because, Andie, I love you,” he replies. She smiles through her tears that she loves him too and they kiss. Awwww.
Back at school, Chris and Laney Boggs invite Dawson out for dinner. He says he’s still got work to do, and Chris goes on ahead while Laney Boggs tells Dawson that she’s impressed with him, that he shows promise as a director. He thanks her for the confidence boost and she heads off after Chris. Joey walks up and they make awkward apologies. She tells him her reaction was unfair, he says that he thought making an autobiographical movie would let him move on in one fell swoop, but LOL NOPE. He says that the hardest part of their break up was that he just wanted to talk to his best friend about how he was feeling, but his best friend was the girl who dumped him, so…yeah. She says it’s been just as hard on her, and though their lives will always be entwined, they need to move on. He agrees.
Jack comes up and asks if Joey’s ready to go. Dawson thanks Jack for all his help that day, and Jack asks if he wants them to stick around and help out. He tells them they’ve done enough and to go have fun. Joey smiles a little sadly at him and turns to go. Bruce Springsteen starts singing again as Dawson tearily watches Joey walk away. Aaaaaand we fade to black.
Well. Laney Boggs is clearly a thousand buckets of crazy, but aside from that, I actually kind of enjoyed this episode. Because at least people finally used their words…
Next time, Jack’s got one hell of a secret and the whole school is about to discover what it is. Find out more in S02 E14 – To Be Or Not To Be…
I'm a 30-something librarian and I still live with my parents because I'm super broke. Leader of Team Heartless Cow. I have an inexplicable love for 90s television, eat too much chocolate, and read more than is good for me.
I'm a J.D. by day/blogger by night who directs her snark and judgment primarily towards celebrities and their many red carpet mishaps. Blogging from the style capital of the world (just kidding - I live in DC), I rant and rave over the best and worst in fashion and pop culture.
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