Previously: A therapist finds people and hynoptizes them into thinking they are the spirit of a killer goat.
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Penguin’s Umbrella
Sweeney: The episode begins with the camera centered on Penguin’s Umbrella. Does that mean that the cameraman gets the star? You know, I’ll give it out again if somebody says it for real, but since the cinematographer is my favorite member of the crew, (s)he and the cameraman can share an honorary star. Here you go!
Marines: I feel like if there is anywhere where we can play fast and loose with the star rules it’s with this show.
Sweeney: Mostly it’s because I want to give recognition to the few places it’s due.
Penguin’s got bodyguards now. Cut to Fish Mooney and her many accents in a confused rage at Penguin’s not being dead. I thought she wanted a chance to kill him again nice and slow? This is what you wanted, girl! She orders her #1 henchman to track down Gordon and bring him to her alive.
LOLPD Locker Room. Gordon calls Barbara and gets her voice mail. He begs her to GTFO ASAP. Before he can even hang up, he gets punched IN THE FACE by Bullock
Mari: GIF STARING. It kind of looks like it’s a fake-out high five that turns into a punch. It’s kind of stylish.
Alex: For some reason my iPad plays all gifs in really slow motion, which makes it even better.
Sweeney: While he’s on the ground, Bullock points a gun at Gordon, saying he has to kill him now, so he can bring his body to Falcone and beg for mercy. Gordon swears he has a plan, but Bullock’s not listening. Two cops appear in the doorway to distract Bullock long enough for Gordon to grab his gun and turn the tables on their respective positions. Bullock tells Gordon he should hope to never see him again. Are you sure about that? I mean, given that you fear for your life, maybe there’s a better way to word that because maybe if Gordon never sees you again it’s because your face has gotten murdered off by Falcone or Fish or someone else whose name begins with F.
Barbara’s Gorgeous Clock Apartment. She sits, stiff and scared, staring at her phone buzzing on the table. Henchman #1 blah blahs about how nice her apartment is and about how somebody’s super mad at Gordon for not being a murderer. She deduces that he definitely didn’t kill Cobblepot, which Henchman #1 takes as invite to be extra smarmy and add a side of sexual harassment to his general terrorizing. As this is going down, Gordon enters with his gun pointed, telling more people to get gone. They do not listen and there’s a brief pissing contest about whose really in charge here but it ends when Gordon shoots gun-toting Henchman #2 in the stomach and elbows Henchman #1 IN THE FACE, knocking him out. He adds a kick to Henchman #2’s face too for good measure. I think I should just compile this entire episode’s collection of blows to the face into one gif for Traumaland Awards 2015. Gordon tells Barbara that they now REALLY REALLY have to go.
Alex: Man, Fish has some really inept henchmen. There were two of them, armed, just sitting there waiting for Gordon to come home, and he still managed to overpower them both within a few seconds.
Sweeney: Henchman #2 should call his agent to complain.
Cut to a train station that looks a lot like the police station. Gordon tries to tell her to go without him, but she’s not having that. He promises, though, that he will make things right and then come join her. If he doesn’t, though, she definitely shouldn’t come back to Gotham. They have sad goodbyes.
Alex: Wow, you weren’t kidding. It really does look like the police station.
Sweeney: GOTHAM! LIGHTING CLOUDS!
After the credits, Gordon walks into the police station and everybody gets real quiet, kind of like Ryan Atwood entering rooms in his early outcast-poor-kid days at The OC. He asks some guy for a stack of blank warrants signed by “Bambam.” LOL.
Mobster Warehouse. The party’s all there as Fish rattles off the names of all the people who should die, and it’s basically all the people who we know won’t die any time soon because they have Gotham destinies to fulfill. Sorry, girl. Fuck if I know who you are, though, so…
Mari: It’s actually a light at the end of the tunnel. For those of you almost about to quit this show, remember: FISH MOONEY DOESN’T MAKE IT. (Probably.) (Maybe.)
Sweeney: Anyway, Falcone tells her to chill out and ask politely for Maroni to hand over Penguin. He’s going to send someone to fetch Gordon at work and then goes back to playing with chickens. Fish and her Russian boyfriend walk away and he tries to get her to strike now, but she’s convinced that Maroni is acting way too calm and the girl she’s trying to sexually exploit reports that nothing has actually happened between them – he just watches her cook and clean. Fish is convinced that Falcone knows something the rest of them don’t.
Alex: So maybe this means Falcone actually didn’t fall for the ridiculously obvious honeytrap, but figured that he might as well get some of his chores done? If that’s the case, then well played sir.
Sweeney: Gotham Police Department. Gordon’s chilling at his desk when his boss comes up and wonders why he hasn’t fled to Alaska by now. In her office he explains that he plans to issue arrest warrants to the mayor, Falcone, and all of their close associates for conspiracy and obstruction of justice in the Wayne murder. I mean, you also did those things, but OK. Whatever. She points out that not only can he not execute those warrants, but none of the higher ups he needs to have his back will. He insists that people will back him once they can see it’s possible to fight back, which, you know, reiterates the fundamental flaw and lack of direction in this pre-Batman show, because Gordon necessarily must fail in that objective since giving the people hope is Batman’s jam. Sorry Gordon. (M: It’s hard to root for a failure.) His boss tells him to get out of town. He insists that it’s his home and it was his father’s home. Except that he just returned a hot minute ago, largely ignorant to the way things work.
Out in the main open area of the station, Falcone’s man Victor arrives with no body hair and some menacing assistants. Victor tells the other cops to just show him Gordon and all will be well. Everybody nervously glances at the boss’s office and he calls out for Jim. Gordon comes out and says that he will have a chat with Falcone, but not today and that there are 50 cops in there so he dares Victor to try something. Victor orders everybody out. They hesitate but acquiesce when he says “Please.” I mean, he used the magic word and everything, Jim. Zoomy cameraman gets all up in Gordon’s “Oh shit” face. He tells his boss to go too, since she did stay behind. Did she not hear him say please?
Alex: NO WAY.
Sweeney: Too weird. Can’t compute.
Once everybody’s gone, Gordon starts firing shots and he hides. Many shots are fired and Gordon takes a bullet to the stomach before he manages to get out of there, knocking over a filing cabinet to block the way behind him. We saw somebody use this trick in Rosewood, which is sufficient reason for me to decide it’s a very bad trick.
Down in the Gotham PD parking lot, Gordon hides among cars as Victor and his people try to find him. Victor follows a trail of blood to Gordon. As he’s getting close, a lady cop who didn’t get the memo is all, “WTF?” and gets shot in the legs a couple times. I guess you only get one “please.” Gordon finally tries to make a run for it but he’s wide open and gets shot again. BUT WAIT. Before Victor can come collect his prize, a Crown Vic comes screeching around the corner and it’s the Major Crimes Duo, jumping out of the car, guns blazing. While they fire at Victor, Gordon hops in the back of their car. Once he’s in, they ride off. None of these cops seem to have done jack shit to Victor. He’s pissed that he lost his guy and takes out his aggression by shooting WTF Lady Cop in the head and carving into his own arm to mark his 28th kill. Nice guy.
After a commercial break, Gordon wakes up in pain in a hospital bed, but it’s more of a lab bed because there are tons of rats in the room. A doctor lady comes up to explain that she took two bullets out of him and to ask some questions to see if he’s all there mentally. He knows his name/city/days of the week, so she explains that he’s in a dissection lab at the university. Gordon, is of course, having none of her insistence that he take a week’s bed rest. The male half of Major Crimes Duo, whose name I have just learned is Crispus (I’m so sorry, friend), (M: If all else fails, you can start your own restaurant or chip company…?) (A: Oh, I totally heard ‘Christmas’. I’m quite disappointed) (S: I can’t decide if that would be better or worse for him.) comes to say that maybe Gordon should put clothes on before storming off to save the day.
Maroni’s Restaurant. Fish is asking politely as ordered, saying it’s about tradition – “snitches get stitches, that’s how it’s always been.” Maroni gets that, and values respect, but he digs Penguin. Maroni calls Penguin out to apologize. He does that and Maroni declares the matter settled. Fish says it’ll be bloodshed then and she’s glad for it. She gets up in Penguin’s face, telling him that torture is far too nice a word for a word for what she’ll do to him. She slaps him because she wants in on my IN THE FACE episode montage. Also because he called her Fish which is her FRIENDS ONLY name. Maroni giggles as she leaves.
Mari: It’s like a slap/SCRATCH. Also stylish.
Sweeney: Elsewhere in Gotham, some nuns are walking down the street when a van backs up to have a chat with them. The doors open and it’s Henchman #1.
Later, a Maroni semi is coming under a bridge and comes to a screeching halt when it sees the line of nuns chained up in the road. (A: I laughed at the nun-blockade way more than I probably should have) Shortly thereafter, the contents of the truck are being loaded onto another as Henchman #1 explains that none of Maroni’s trucks will be allowed across the bridge until he gives up Penguin. To drive the message home, Henchman #1 shoots both of Maroni’s guys in the legs.
Maroni’s Restaurant. Maroni is pissed and his right-hand man seems wary of holding onto Penguin, but doesn’t say it. Penguin continues to be socially awkward but also the most compelling character on this show. Maroni’s furious about the lost income, but refuses to play safe – he wants to push back harder. Penguin says that if that’s the plan, he knows just the spot.
Alex: Much as I enjoy watching Penguin fuck with everyone, every word out of his mouth is so unbelievably insincere-sounding. It’s painfully obvious that he’s got something up his sleeve at all times, and Maroni has to be a total moron to go along with it.
Sweeney: Maroni is clearly an idiot for buying in, though I guess it helps that so many characters are stupid that I can’t get a feel with Gotham’s baseline intelligence is.
Later, in the woods, Montoya apologizes for misjudging Gordon, admitting that her feelings for Barbara got tangled up. She’s just glad they’re on the same side now. It’s about fucking time. But seriously, a simple, “I fucked up, I’m sorry,” goes a surprisingly long way in undoing my deep hatred for this character. It’s a little harder for Gordon, for obvious reasons. (M: I’m with him. It’s gonna take a few episodes.) He assures her that Barbara is, indeed, safe. Just then, poor Crisups is slammed up against the car window by Alfred. Gordon rolls the window down to say that Crispus is a friend and they just couldn’t risk a direct approach. Alfred apologizes to Crispus and it’s delightful. Alfred’s a shitty guardian, but I like that he’s good at being a badass.
Pause because I LIKE SO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS EPISODE. THIS WAS NOT TRUE IN ANY OF THE 6 PREVIOUS EPISODES. A little face punching seems to be helping.
I may have spoken too soon because it seems that their master plan involves endangering a minor. Cool. We cut to the Wayne Estate where Gordon is introducing Baby Batman to Crispus and Montoya. Gordon patronizingly hems and haws about the situation to Baby Batman and he’s having none of it, what with the fact that Gordon seems to very selectively remember that he’s dealing with a pubescent boy who might have PTSD. A fair point, Baby Batman. Gordon tries to insist that Bruce is a child, but, again, a wee bit late for remembering that, my friend. Baby Batman tells him to cut the crap and explain why Gordon thinks he’s going to die and whether its connected to his parents’ murder. “Yes, it’s all connected – somehow,” Gordon answers. Gordon’s just there to say that if something does happen to him, he’s told Montoya and Allen (Crispus’s last name, which everyone is wisely using) everything and Baby Batman can trust them. Gordon tries to shake Baby Batman’s hand before heading off. Baby Batman hugs him instead, what with the impending demise one of his (not very good) substitute parent figures.
Mari: This was a little weird that Gordon took a time out to do this. Just me?
Alex: Definitely not just you. When you’re on the run from the mob, probably don’t go to the home of the child you’re trying to keep safe.
Sweeney: Baby Batman grows up to be Batman because he grows up all like, “Why is every adult in Gotham so incompetent?”
Later, Penguin and his umbrella (will no one mention the umbrella? COME ON GUYS, REACH OUT AND GRAB THE STAR!) lead Maroni’s men to Falcone’s Warehouse. They blow it up and come in firing shots, killing everyone, including Fish’s Russian boyfriend. They eye the money and Maroni’s right hand man eyes the money, but starts to get his hatred of Penguin off his chest, noting that Penguin’s twisting shit up for Maroni when he’s really just a snitch. Penguin says this is all clever enough, but the thing is that Penguin knows what he loves most, which is the key to being able to destroy someone. Right Hand Man loves money and Penguin was able to buy out his people quite easily because RHM was stingy and didn’t pay them well enough. Penguin stabs him in the stomach. No face punches here. He even kisses the dead man on the head and the newly purchased mobsters exchange, “This guy’s the fucking weirdest,” looks.
Out in the dock where Penguin was supposed to die, Maroni and Falcone meet. Falcone explains that it’s a sad day because the both lost valuable people in RHM and Fish’s Russian Boyfriend. Sure, whatever. Falcone says that they want this all to end. Since Penguin is apparently so valuable to Maroni, they’ll let Maroni have Penguin in exchange for something. Falcone asks for a warehouse by the river, but Maroni balks at that request. Instead he offers up a toxic waste spot in Arkham on an Indian burial ground. The number of people in Traumaland shouting, “DON’T TAKE THE DEAL,” is insane. Only Fish can hear them, though. She protests and Falcone ignores her, taking the deal as a token of their mutual respect. As they part ways, Maroni wishes Falcone luck with catching Gordon because, “there’s nothing more dangerous than A GOOD GUY an honest man.”
Mari: The kind who only lie about not killing people.
Sweeney: Gorgeous Clock Apartment. Said honest man is loading a gun when Bullock knocks on the door. He’s there drunk with a woman who he sends off so that they can chat. Bullock is still mad, but decides that since Gordon has the moral high ground (and since we’ve recently established this bullshit “Bullock used to be A GOOD GUY too!” back story) so Bullock will back his play. Gordon explains the “warrants for important people” plan and Bullock laughs at how they’re about to die. Gordon doesn’t argue that point, saying only that they’ll at least go out doing their jobs. Bullock’s in because he’s doomed either way, but first he’s going to go have sex in Gordon’s bed. Gordon’s appropriately horrified.
Alex: I guess that answers my question from last week about whether we’d see any improvement in Bullock’s character after his back story episode.
Sweeney: The next day, they start with the mayor, ambushing him in his car. He’s issued a warrant and as he tries to say that’s not funny we see that in addition to the surprise of a cop with a large gun, his usual driver has also been replaced by Bullock.
Later, they go to meet Falcone. The mayor rolls his window down so the guys at the gate don’t see the cops in the car, and because of CORRUPTION nobody suspects anything is amiss.
Inside, Falcone is eating practice and reading the paper when Gordon enters with the mayor, telling Falcone he’s under arrest. Bullock follows him in the room, telling two of Falcone’s men to get on the floor and stay quiet. Falcone wonders at the plan here, noting that Gordon can’t get him past the end of the street. Gordon says that this is a lawful arrest and if Falcone resists, he’ll get shot. He and Bullock are fine with going out in a blaze of glory. Falcone envies them for how liberating it must feel to have nothing to lose. Falcone says that Gordon might, in fact, have something to lose: Victor has a knife to Barbara’s throat right at that moment. Falcone says he’s a lot of things, but a liar isn’t one. Falcone says that Barbara came back and straight to him to plead for Gordon’s life. Falcone says that he could prove it, but he wants Gordon to believe him. Bullock insists that Falcone is lying, and Falcone says he can test that theory and die before he founds out what ugly thing happens to Barbara. Or he can drop his weapon and she’ll be unharmed.
Cut to Barbara who is, in fact, that fucking stupid. Fish’s Weapon is taking muffins out of the oven, telling Victor that he won’t get any because he’s a creep. She’ll share with Barbara, though, because stupidity isn’t enough of a reason to be denied baked goods. Victor’s phone rings. His ring tone is “Funkytown.” (A: So does this mean the show is set after 1980? I’m so confused) He tells Barbara that he won’t get to maim her today.
Back in Falcone’s living room, Bullock is pissed that Gordon got duped out of their glorious end. Victor brings Barbara in and releases her. Falcone says that Gordon now has to die, which is a bummer because his whole thing is preventing anarchy and he thinks that a couple of ineffectual but GOOD! cops can help with that. He does, however, think there’s still hope for Gordon because he believed him today. He tells them to go quickly before he changes his mind. Victor is PISSED. Gordon looks the gift horse in the mouth and asks what the catch is. Falcone says the only catch is that he has to think about what he said because some day soon he’ll see he’s right.
Gorgeous Clock Apartment. Barbara sets her purse down and cries beautiful tears as Gordon hobbles in. She starts to apologize and he kisses her and they do some more sad hugging.
Mari: I hope he’s whispering, “maybe never go to a mob boss to ask nicely for my life again, okay?”
Alex: WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK WERE YOU THINKING, BARBARA?
Sweeney: Later, Falcone is enjoying the muffins Fish’s girl made and apologizing for the ugliness she had to witness before deciding to go see to the chickens.
Outside, while he checks for the eggs, we see Penguin emerge from over the hill, umbrella in hand. At first it’s all ominous, but then they embrace and Falcone says he was just thinking about the night they met, so that we can go into a flashback.
We see Bullock and Gordon hanging upside down, being ordered free. Falcone asks Henchman #1 to speak to the snitch. Falcone goes to Penguin, saying that condemned men are honest men, asking what he knows. Penguin says he can tell him important things if the job of murdering him is given to James Gordon. Penguin knows that Gordon is A GOOD GUY and can therefore be persuaded against killing him. Falcone isn’t sure why this is a good thing. Penguin basically lays out the last few episodes with the added detail that he’ll do all this within the Maroni organization as a snitch for Falcone. Penguin says he has a gift for that sort of work. Falcone smiles and makes the deal. Penguin’s valuable secret: that Fish and Russian Boyfriend fake their hatred, with Fish pushing the Russian to oust Falcone so that she can then do the same to him. In essence: stuff we knew has been known by more people than we thought.
In the (time unclear) present, Falcone agrees that everything did, in fact, work out as Penguin promised. He’s not sure about letting Gordon live, but Penguin thanks him for the favor and assures him it will work out. YES. GOOD. I was, admittedly, super perturbed by how bullshit it felt for Falcone to spare Gordon, but this makes all kinds of sense. Falcone doing it as a favor and Penguin wanting him to live – Penguin’s all about chaos and his conviction that he’ll survive it. Penguin assures Falcone that Gordon will see the light, and Falcone is assuaged by this. Of course, what Penguin truly means is that Gordon will continue to see his GOOD GUY light, thus stoking the fires of calamity and keeping things unstable.
Alex: Hmmm, I’m not sure I’d go as far as ‘makes all kinds of sense’. It certainly explains a lot of things which previously didn’t quite add up, but the explanation itself seems stupidly convoluted. I am definitely intrigued about what Falcone might be planning, though.
Sweeney: I stand corrected: “makes all kinds of sense in the totally relative understanding of ‘sense’ I’m developing as I watch this show.”
END.
I did not enjoy having to watch this episode slowly because it was far and away the most violent and bloodiest episode we’ve seen yet. (I also had the Eyeball Trauma Assassin episode, so…) But other than that unfortunate fact, this was far and away the best episode of the series. We’re finally shifting focus away from Gordon a little bit and I hope that trend continues. Gordon must fail and so trying to hype Gordon up as a hero when we all know he must fail and that Gotham must fall into further shambles is a shitty strategy. This is the first time that I’ve felt like the show understands that. Falcone is kind of right – the mob bosses do maintain order, albeit a corrupt and broken order. (Which is to say that Gordon isn’t wrong to want to unsettle that order.) This is sowing the seeds for something viable with this show. It finally feels like they have some sense of direction.
Other things: Penguin is evil and twisted and awful, but a compelling character. More of this, more developing the complicated stories that made Gotham’s villains? That’s another place this show can succeed. I’ve ranted elsewhere on the blog about my struggles with the antihero craze, but I think this show has the potential to do really interesting things with that. What they’re doing with Penguin is writing an interesting character without any attempts to convince the viewer that he’s secretly some really great guy. We see the things that fucked him up but we’re not concurrently told to excuse his behavior, which I appreciate.
In other words: promising episode. Also, as promised, a montage:
Mari: A+. And a +1 to all of your thoughts at the end. Seeing this show improve is strange because I hated it so passionately for its short run so far. I keep second guessing myself– is it improving? Am I being desensitized? Good to know that I’m not alone in thinking things are headed in a better direction.
Sweeney: Let’s see what you all had to say about it in your #gothamsnark tweets:
Penguin knows too much? Like where Fish’s accent comes from? #gotham #gothamsnark
— Nano Ang (@AngiNicole722) November 8, 2014
Hey, cop lady. That’s what happens when you’re late to work. You get shot in the legs. #gothamsnark #Gotham — Mari (@mynameismarines) November 6, 2014
In what universe is not killing someone “screwing up”?? #gothamsnark
— Ryan (@meatloafbandit) November 5, 2014
Dear Fish, there are other types of body language than just pointing your finger around. #gothamsnark — Laura Lillies (@lillypad1985) November 4, 2014
I know brooding is Ben McKenzie’s trademark, but he has got a great smile! Never actually seen it before. #gothamsnark
— Regina (@ReginaD83) November 4, 2014
Does Fish have a special tailor for those clothes? Or is that the #Gotham style of department stores? #gothamsnark — Wilhelmina Upton (@WillieSun) November 4, 2014
Victor in the police station vs. Jim Gordon feels very Batman circa Michael Keaton #Gothamsnark
— Jessica Babb (@Jessicababb) November 4, 2014
“I’m a very good snitch! Except for the fact that I got caught on my first try!” #GothamSnark — Starman Morrison (@GeekyGeekyWays) November 4, 2014
Modern slang and classic costumes and WHAT YEAR IS THIS SET IN I REALLY DON’T KNOW #GotHamSnark
— Babs Sieli (@CrippleTheBitch) November 4, 2014
Every week I hate #Gotham less and less and I don’t know if it’s marginally improving or wearing me down. #gothamsnark — Mari (@mynameismarines) November 6, 2014
Don’t forget to join us next time (tonight!) with your #gothamsnark tweets, whenever you watch – we’ll keep checking up until we publish the post!
Next time on Gotham: Baby Batman goes back to school in S01 E08 – The Mask.
Nicole is the co-captain of Snark Squad and these days she spends most of her time editing podcasts. She spends too much time on Twitter and very occasionally vlogs and blogs. In her day job she's a producer, editor, director, and sometimes host of educational YouTube channels. She loves travel, maps, panda gifs, and semicolons. Writing biographies stresses her out; she crowd sourced this one years ago and has been using a version of it ever since. She would like to thank Twitter for their help.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
I'm a thirty-year-old postgrad living in Scotland. When I'm not writing (which, between my degree and Snark Squad, is almost never) I watch entirely too much TV, and live in constant fear of the day that I run out of things to watch.
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