Gotham S01 E08 – #deep

Previously: Penguin was only pretending to double cross Falcone and was actually double crossing Maroni. Plus, lots of face punching.
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The Mask

Marines: A very worried man in suspenders is trying to make his way unnoticed through an what looks like an office/storage area. He slips on a ski mask and makes a run for it, but another identically dressed man leaps out at him. A fight ensues, and it’s a little hard to keep track of what’s going on because I don’t know who is who. One Ski Mask Man rips the blade off a paper cutter and uses that to attack the Two Ski Mask Man. All said and done, One Ski Mask Man cuts Two’s finger off, but in the end, it is Two who wrestles away the blade and hacks One to death. Two lifts off his mask and reveals he is not the original, very worried man we saw. RIP Very Worried Man. We never knew ye. Two looks toward a nearby survellaince camera and now we’re watching him on the video. He lifts his arm in some sort of salute at whoever is watching him.

Daylight. Nygma is examining Worried Man’s body as Gordon arrives at the crime scene. Bullock exposits about the dead body and giant gash on his neck that we are seeing with our eyes, but thanks for that, Bullock! Gordon asks what all the black stuff on him is and Bullock guesses it’s either ink or paint. Gordon figures he may as well acknowledge the coroner, who probably could’ve also told him lots about the dead body. Ed says that the guy’s probably been dead since midnight, but he’s only been at this outdoor location for a few hours. That rules out a mugging. Bullock guesses that this guy is in finance because he’s wearing suspenders.

Sweeney: Nygma also discusses critters starting to chomp at the corpse, which is new, gross ground we seem to be adding to the Traumaland thematic archives, between this and How to Get Away With Murder.

Mari: Seriously, the weirdest themes develop around here.

Bullock and Gordon divvy up the work to be done. Bullock is going to talk to the cops who found the body and, even though there are uniformed cops who could do it, Gordon wants to go canvass the area himself. Ed asks if he should run all the prints and they kind of look at him like, “duh” up until he pulls a severed digit from the Worried Man’s mouth. Gordon tells him to run that one too.

A Rich! Woman! (we know because she has a small dog and is talking about a yacht, see?) is stopped by Penguin. He admires her brooch. He asks if he can have it, faux-politely, because there is his skeevy face and a threatening hand that accompany his “please.”

Alex: Sorry Penguin, I’m afraid that’s just not as good as last week’s “please.”

Sweeney: It was a very tough “please” to beat.

Mari: Fish’s lounge. Penguin presents her with his present and says he hopes they can be friends again one day. Fish says sure, but I wouldn’t trust her, because anyone wearing the neck piece she has on is probably a liar. Don Maroni sent him over to clarify terms. Fish says Maroni still has the drugs and unions, he pays tariffs for the ports, and if he needs favors from the cops or the mayor, Don Falcone will consider it. Plus, the two families share Arkham. Penguin adds that there should be no blood shed on either side. Fish says maybe just a drop and Penguin laughs and waggles his finger at her. It’s amazing how much better Penguin’s physical acting is. I mean, I know they are just kind of moving their fingers around at each other, but Robin Taylor could teach Jada Pinkett a thing or 37 about even just that.

Fish turns to her henchman and says that Penguin used to have his job, but now, there he is seated across from her. He smiles and says things change. Fish opens up his gift and this guy is just not as nervous as he should be as she takes out the pointy pin from the brooch. Sure enough, she leans in close to say thank you and then stabs him through the hand.

Penguin holds it together admirably. You should see me when I stub a toe.

Fish licks up his blood and THAT IS SO UNSANITARY WHO ARE YOU WOMAN? #ebola

Sweeney: At this point I have to assume that the writers are trying to make us want to fast forward through all of Fish’s screen time. MAKE HER GO AWAY NOW, PLEASE.

Mari: I wonder if the writers were smart enough to make Fish this annoying so that we’d root for Penguin by default. Probably not.

Penguin says that was uncalled for, but Fish doesn’t like it when people she wants dead don’t stay dead. She says Don Falcone is the only reason he’s still alive and he should pray for Falcone’s good health. Penguin is all, “I TOTALLY DO. NO SECRETS TO SEE HERE.” He grabs back his gift and hobbles away.

School time. Baby Batman tells Alfred that home school is just as effective, but Alfred thinks he needs to be around children his own age. I hope he’s not thinking school will help Baby Batman become well adjusted. Spoiler alert: vigilante. Baby Batman asks Alfred to make a good case for being a normal kid and Alfred’s puts his foot down. Maybe he got tired of letting Baby Batman make all his own decisions? I’m not sure I understand this sudden level of parenting. I like it though. (A: I like it too, but *spoilers* it’s sadly not going to last long).

Gordon is back at GCPD, sitting with Worried Man’s (Coleman’s) mother. She of course says he was a very good boy. He worked in a coffee shop but was looking for a job in finance. Bullock’s best piece of detective work yet, and it’s based on observing suspenders. Wonderful.

Sweeney: I’m just imagining how this fashion detective business would play out in my own life. “Of course she worked in the internet! She was wearing pajamas.”

Mari: “She’s been wearing this same pair for at least three days.”

Bullock is in with Essen, filling her in on how they’ve gotten nowhere with the case. She asks after Gordon, and Bullock says he’s angry on account of that one time every single cop he works with abandoned him. Now, Bullock says, they all treat him like he’s got the plague because he reminds them that they were all cowards. Bullock realizes Essen left too and he’s all, “woopsies. You sign my checks, so like not you. You are awesome.” Essen says that’s all cool but Gordon has to get over it because he can’t do this job alone.

Penguin takes his rejected gift over to his creepy mom’s house. She loves it. She sees the bandage on his hand and fawns over her son. He says the restaurant business is rough and people are jealous of his success. Momma Kapelput suggests tattling, but Penguin explains that this person isn’t afraid of the boss. Momma tells her son about a girl who was mean to her in school but the teacher did nothing. Why? Because of private lessons. I’m not sure what’s going on, but the moral of the story is that Momma Kapelput denounced this girl’s father to the secret police. A rat trap goes off and Momma Kapelput  gets really, really excited.

Gordon and Bullock are making rounds to all the underground doctors, which are apparently a thing. We find one such Mostly A Doctor [MAD] removing a bullet from a man who desperately wants morphine. MAD knocks him out instead. Well, now when he wakes up, he’s only going to want more morphine, duh. Bullock asks if he saw a thumbless man come through. MAD denies it until Gordon finds a shirt covered in black ink, just like Worried Man was. MAD admits the guy came through. He didn’t catch his name, but a business card did conveniently drop out of his pocket. MAD describes him and then Gordon calls for an ambulance and arrests MAD anyway.

Sweeney: It’s always best to keep your murderer’s business cards handy!

Mari: We cut to Gordon shoving MAD into a cell in the stupidly laid out GCPD. A cop comes over and asks WTF is going on because he has a deal with MAD. Screwed Cop says that Gordon is screwing the rest of them and Gordon gets in his face and asks how that feels. Bullock pushes him off and tries to talk him into some reason. Like, shady cop reason, but still. He says that Falcone let them live and sometimes you have to go along to get along. Gordon’s like, “NO.” and leaves MAD in the cell.

Alex: Like, I get that Gordon’s a Good Guy and doesn’t approve of dodgy dealings, but what’s his actual plan here? He mostly just seems to go around pissing people off for the sake of it. It’s not at all helpful.

Mari: I guess that’s why they eventually need Batman.

Gordon gets home and Barbara is a nervous mess. She pulls a gun on him, because he came in and didn’t turn on the lights. The real question is, though, why would she be in the dark? Not when you fear for your life, girl. (S: PREACH. Fearful situations mean ALL LIGHT BULBS ON DUTY.) Gordon tells her probably she shouldn’t drink and handle guns and then apologizes, and I don’t know what for. That was legit advice. Barbara is really worried about her safety and doesn’t think that Gordon can promise to protect her (A: Well, duh. Why did you think he wanted you to leave town?). Maybe Gordon should say they can start with her NOT going to mob bosses instead of laying low. Barbara wants to hear that there aren’t any monsters, even if it’s a lie. Gordon only does an okay job at lying.

Killer Office Space. There are a few guys in cages dressed in those suspenders.

Morning. Gordon is taking away his spare gun but Barbara catches him. She tells him that her tears the previous night was just about too much drinking and he should leave the gun. She did say she wanted half his life.

Alex: She also looks WAY too perky for someone who was drinking heavily the night before.

Sweeney: Preach. Girl’s undoubtedly closer to 30 than 20, meaning I don’t buy that kind of bounce back. It should be more like:

Mari: Just thinking about those feels makes me hurt.

Nygma starts an examination on Coleman. His audio report includes what he had for breakfast and also the riddle, “what do a dead man, a cruise ship and an emu have in common?” The dead man doesn’t say anything so he answers, “correct. Nothing.” Nygma takes a sample of the ink on the dead guy, finds a thumb tack on the body, and finds one other thing but someone comes in and yells at him because he isn’t actually supposed to be doing this examination. That makes sense. Nygma says he found something, but the real pathologist does not care. Nygma mumbles on his way out.

Some cute girls greet Baby Batman. Get in line early, ladies. Some older boys sit next to him and the one with the SAG card asks about his dead parents like a big jerk. Baby Batman leaves.

Church. Fish’s Secret Weapon goes into a confessional where Fish is waiting for her. Liza (for such is her name) is cooking and singing for Falcone, so she’s like his maid, lover and mother all rolled into one. Fish asks her to go into Falcone’s private office, find his ledger and copy the last two pages. She’s left Liza something to give Falcone that will make him sleep deeply. Liza wonders if it will kill him and Fish is all, “LIZA AND FALCONE, SITTING IN A TREE!” even though it’s a fair way between, “I love him!” and “I would prefer not to kill a human.”

Sionis, which is the business from the convenient card that fell out of Thumbless Man’s pocket. Gordon and Bullock look at a bunch of workers who are all beat-up in some way. They get led back to a Mr. Sionis, who claims not to know if Coleman came in for an interview or if any of his employees showed up with an injured right hand. Sionis snits that he doesn’t take roll call. Bullock is messing with all the warrior stuff Sionis keeps in his office. Sionis says it inspires him because finance is a tough business. You have to be a warrior. Gordon is like, “WHAT? No, idiot.” Warriors fight wars. He asks if Sionis has killed anyone. Sionis replies that only metaphorically, unlike Gordon who he can tell has killed people for real. “True killers are easy to spot.” “Yes they are,” Gordan deadpans. Next, he asks why Sionis keeps so many masks, like he’s hiding something. Sionis blah blah blahs about a mask hiding the face but freeing the soul. Bullock levels him with a #deep. I couldn’t have said it better, Harvey.

Sionis says his employees are all beat up because their touch football games get very rough. Then he gets in Gordon’s face and says he must miss the battlefield and killing people. I’m not sure if Gordon is more upset about the words Sionis said, the persona space invasion, or how breathy it all was. No one wants to breathed on. Gordon calls him a liar and then pulls his tie and accuses him of killing Coleman. Sioinis tells him to prove it, and Gordon intends to do just that. Not one to let the last word go, Bullock tells Sionis that he’d give him a good cop routine, but it isn’t in his toolkit. AND SO WE’VE HEARD.

Downstairs, Gordon conveniently steps in a little puddle of blood. He follows the trail into the bathroom, where a man is at the sink with a bloody nose. Gordon asks to see his hands, and Bloody Nose has both thumbs. Luckily, Thumbless Man was taking a pee break just then and comes out of one of the stalls. TM runs into Gordon, punches him IN THE FACE, but ultimately doesn’t make it out because Bullock opens the door as he’s trying to run out. Bullock takes in the scene and tells Gordon he should’ve waited. See? ‘Cause today we’re learned that special lesson kids. Gather ’round and say it with me: He can’t do it alone.

 

The bell rings and Baby Batman runs into the Bully with the SAG Card again, flanked by some wordless friends. He calls Baby Batman “Brucey,” saying he can call him whatever he wants because of the dead parents thing. Baby Batman politely tells them to get out of his way and asks why they are being so unkind. SAG Bully says he’s a weirdo and starts to talk about his momma so Baby Batman slaps him IN THE FACE. (Guys, are we going to need a montage EVERY week?) (S: I don’t think I can keep up with that demand.) We cut to a real commercial break but the implication is that Baby Batman is about to get his ass kicked. Also SAG Bully has a quality that reminds me of Vincent Kartheiser (A: I thought this too!).

The commercial that my coverage cut to starts off with a bunch of penguins. I was confused for a moment.

Penguin has the Henchman Who Now Has His Job (phew!) brought to him and beat up. He sits back and eats an apple. At least it’s not a tuna fish sandwich.

  Bullock and Gordon are questioning the Thumbless Man, who says he killed out of self-defense.

We cut to Bullock telling Essen the rest of the story: the fighting was part of the hiring process. They were supposed to fight it out, but not to the death. Plus, all the candidates sign confidentiality agreements, so they are accomplices to whatever happens. Are jobs that hard to come by in Gotham? What’s the next big city over, you guys?

Alex: Right?? So far I think literally every job we’ve seen someone get on this show has involved killing someone else for it.

Mari: Nygma walks in and announces that through his own examinations, he’s deduced that Coleman was killed in an office. They are kind of past that now, but there is more: Nygma found four other people killed by way of office supplies in the last 3 years. I LOVE office supplies, so I feel like that would be an especially tragic way to go. Please, not my 0.5mm mechanical pencil!

Essen wants a signed confession ASAP, but Thumbless Man just lawyered up.

The next step for the detectives is to try and find where the fights are being held. Bullock is on it, so Gordon and Essen are left to have a, “GOTHAM BE CRAZY,” conversation. Essen wondered where all this craziness came from and Gordon offers his theory that it was always just below the surface, waiting for a spark. Essen guesses that he means the deaths of the Waynes. Gordon says that they represented good times, hope, and normal crime (or whatever) but now all that is gone. Essen admits that when Zsasz came, she should’ve stayed. She tells Gordon to get Sionis.

Alex: I think I’m starting to like Essen. I assumed she was just another corrupt Gotham cop at first, but she actually seems cool.

Mari: Same. She seems to be caught in a very tough position.

Alfred is waiting for Baby Batman, who comes running out with a big bruise on his jaw. BB explains about SAG Bully and about how he cannot even fight one little bit. BB asks Alfred not to tell the school and Alfred’s all, “PFFFFT.”

GCPD. Sionis owns a lot of shit in Gotham, so Bullock and Gordon are splitting up. Not before Bullock gives a big +1 to everything Sionis said about Gordon loving the fight against Big Bads. The point is that Gordon can’t do it alone, and should call if he finds anything. Barbara calls Gordon but he doesn’t have time for it at the moment, so Barbara is sad. Does she ever leave her Clock Tower Apartment, other than when she is finding mob bosses?

Liza is preparing Falcone’s tea, but one of his men startles her and she spills the sleepy potion. She pours what’s left in the vial into the tea.

Gordon finds a building that looks appropriately nefarious and goes in alone. It is indeed the Fight Club Office, but as he’s asking the people in cages if anyone else is in the office, Sionis sneaks up on and tasers him.

Selina Kyle is using a manhole to steal from a shop. In broad daylight. She gets caught and no one is surprised.

Alfred has brought Baby Batman to SAG Bully’s house. He hands BB his father’s watch and points him in the right direction, saying that if he doesn’t want to do it, there’s no shame in that. BB says there would be immense shame in it and heads off. SAG Bully answers the door and BB says they have unfinished business. Watch across his knuckles, Baby Batman punches him IN THE FACE three times while telling him not to talk about his momma. Alfred comes over after the third punch and tells SAG Bully to remember that Baby Batman almost killed him, and Alfred let him try. They walk off happily talking about the pizza they are going to eat because face punching makes everyone hungry.

Alex: Oh, Alfred. And you were just starting to get the hang of the substitute parent thing too! I approve of standing up to bullies, but teaching him to improvise a knuckleduster? Too far.

Mari: Bullock is freaking out because Gordon hasn’t checked in. Nygma tries to say something but is of course, mostly ignored. Seriously, the GCPD has no one to blame for The Riddler but themselves.

Sweeney: “Ugh, listening to the guy who probably had to have a shit ton of education for his job is so tedious. MOAR GUNS AND BRUTAL INTERROGATIONS!”

Mari: Gordon comes to in an office chair with three Ski Mask Men surrounding him. Sionis comes on the loudspeaker and says the game has changed. The winner tonight is not the last man standing, but the one who kills Gordon. We see that the Sionis office proper is watching this on TV. Gordon tries to reason with the men, but Sionis throws in a one million dollar signing bonus. Gordon knows not even his power of Heart can work now and the fight begins.

Bullock goes to Screwed Cop, who we met earlier, and asks for help checking more addresses that belong to Sionis. He won’t help. Bullock goes to another cop and same deal. Bullock yells at everyone. He speechifies that he knows Gordon can be an ass hat, but he’s still a cop. Not one of them stood up for him and that isn’t going to happen twice. He needs help checking addresses because no one can do it alone. Essen is the first to say that she’ll cover a couple. Screwed Cop is next, and soon, all the rest of the cops are volunteering.

Sweeney: Screwed Cop is only next with the caveat that he only has to be a decent person THIS ONE TIME and only for the sake of getting to maintain the all-the-time shitty person routine of lying to his wife. Because everyone else in GCPD is still so! very! corrupt!

Mari: Office Fight Club. Gordon takes out all three of the Ski Mask Men like a boss (with too many IN THE FACE punches to really keep track of) and then just stands there for a few seconds in a superhero pose. The people watching in the office look real bummed about his winning. We hear the sound of a sword being unsheathed and then Sionis shows up in his Black Mask (that lets us see his soooooooul) (looks a little douchey and murderlike). Sionis asks where his cop buddies are and Gordon says HE DOESN’T NEED THEM, HE CAN DO IT ALONE, GOD. Gordon pretty quickly disarms Sionis and then stands above him with his own sword. The music crescendos but he can’t bring the sword down because he’s a Very Good Guy.

Gordon hops off the table and drops the sword. Doesn’t even knock Sionis out or secure him. Essen enters, gun raised, with a few cops. Sionis uses this distraction to get up and go for his sword again, but Gordon turns and punches him IN THE FACE. He thanks Essen for showing up to come see how he actually did the whole damn thing on his own.

Sweeney: It would be great if we could keep up a face punching counter for this show, but these rapid succession face punches are just too hard to keep track of.

Mari: We can only do so much.

Fish is listening to an old woman sing on her stage when Liza shows up. She wants out because she knows Falcone is going to find her out. Liza wonders if it’s worth it since Fish is already rich and feared. Fish says it isn’t enough. She grew up poor and her sex-worker mother was killed by one of Falcone’s men. She made a promise to herself as she hid next to her mother’s body never to be powerless or beneath a man again. She promises not to let anything happen to Liza and makes her call her mama again.

The Henchman Who Now Has Penguin’s Job is hanging upside down as Penguin asks him for Fish’s secret. HWNHPJ says that he heard her whispering about someone close to Falcone. Penguin is pleased with this information and has HWNHPJ murdered anyway.

Gordon is back at GCPD and has Sionis’ black mask. Gordon tells Bullock that he heard about the speech and the “asshat” thing. He thanks Bullock for having his back. The Hero Music swells as Gordon adds that he doesn’t like fighting but he isn’t afraid to, and he isn’t going to stop. Falcone, the mayor, all the dirty cops – Gordon wants to catch ’em all. Bullock says, “go home Jim,” and I think the “you’re drunk,” part must be implied.

Gordon calls Barbara, but she ignores his call. She leaves him a note and we see her leaving with her suitcase. Man, I really can’t stand her for being, “TELL ME ALL YOUR PROBLEMS,” and then running just because she got held at gunpoint a time or two. WHATEVER. (A: Finally though, someone decides to get the hell out of Gotham. The question is, why does anyone choose to stay there? That place is the worst).

Screwed Cop asks if Gordon has a moment because there was a kid brought in on a B&E who claims to know him. It’s Selina, of course, and she chirpily asks if he missed her.

Alex: So many characters on this show need to learn that you should be off-screen for at least a couple of episodes before you try to do the whole ‘SURPRISE, I’M BACK!’ thing.

Mari: Baby Batman confesses to Alfred that he enjoyed hurting SAG Bully and also that he’s very angry all the time. He next asks Alfred if he can teach him how to fight. Something about hearing his charge say, “I enjoy hurting things and have anger issues,” makes Alfred smile a little smile of “I thought you’d never ask.” Of course Alfred can teach him how to fight.

Sweeney: Speaking of fighting, there were too many face punches, but here’s an IN THE FACE overview of the episode, Office Fight Club scenes omitted:

Mari: I feel like we got baby improvements over the last two episodes but this episode was just a thing. I mean, OFFICE FIGHT CLUB? The beginning was especially slow and this was a killer to recap on account of how I kept getting kind of bored and distracted. But, I mean, it was no Spirit of the Goat.

Here’s what you all thought during this week’s #gothamsnark:

 

Tonight’s episode of #Gotham is called The Mask. Anyone else hoping to see Cameron Diaz singing at Fish’s club? #GothamSnark

— Starman Morrison (@GeekyGeekyWays) November 11, 2014

Watching Charmed and Gotham right in a row might be the best idea but… #gothamsnark

— Ryan (@meatloafbandit) November 12, 2014

Ryan Atwood, I mean Det Gordon summing up this show: this doesn’t make sense. Wait-he means the case. #gotham #gothamsnark — Nano Ang (@AngiNicole722) November 11, 2014

 

WHY SO SERIOUS, Baby Batman? #GothamSnark — Regina (@ReginaD83) November 11, 2014

“Remember, things change.” LIKE YOUR ACCENT, MOONEY?! #GotHamSnark

— Babs Sieli (@CrippleTheBitch) November 11, 2014

Jada, go home. You’re drunk. #Gothamsnark

— Jessica Babb (@Jessicababb) November 11, 2014

‘How is it any worse than the goat or the balloonman?’ I don’t know, Gordon. I keep thinking it can’t get any worse, but… #gothamsnark — Alex (@AlexTheAJ) November 12, 2014

 

You can hardly blame Ed for becoming a super villain. Working at GCPD would drive me batshit insane too. #gothamsnark — Laura Lillies (@lillypad1985) November 11, 2014

Is the dramatic music on this show coming from Bullock’s hair? #Gotham #gothamsnark

— Nano Ang (@AngiNicole722) November 11, 2014

Gordon messing up the guy’s tie has been the best part of the episode so far. #gothamsnark

— Ryan (@meatloafbandit) November 12, 2014

@CrippleTheBitch Hey, the first rule of Finance Guy Fight Club is you DO NOT TALK about Finance Guy Fight Club! #GothamSnark — Starman Morrison (@GeekyGeekyWays) November 11, 2014

 

Well, looks like it’s time for my weekly “Barbara Gordon, please kill yourself” tweet. This time I yelled it at the TV. #Gothamsnark #Gotham — Bryan Cook (@BryanCook) November 11, 2014

I’m pretty sure the actress that plays Barbara Gordon actually thinks she’s in a Adam Sandler movie. #overacting #Gothamsnark

— Jessica Babb (@Jessicababb) November 11, 2014

Does this show have a plot, or is it just “HEY LOOK AT ALL THESE BATMAN CHARACTERS”? #GotHamSnark

— Babs Sieli (@CrippleTheBitch) November 11, 2014

All the tv shows I watch could exist in the same universe. Except #gotham But only bc no one knows when it takes place. #gothamsnark — Nano Ang (@AngiNicole722) November 14, 2014

 

 

Don’t forget to join us next time with your #gothamsnark tweets, whenever you watch – we’ll keep checking up until we publish the post! Plus, check out the full tag for all of the amazing Tweets. It’s so hard to pick just a few!

 

Next time on Gotham: Baby Batman is learning how to fight and maybe Gordon has a new friend in S01 E09 – Harvey Dent.