Previously: Everyone tried to get Marissa back into Harbor, whether she wanted to or not.
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The Sister Act
Wendy: Hi, y’all. The Snark Ladies have invited me for a return appearance! I’m touched and flattered, but must warn you that due to a cold that will not fucking die, I have been living on cough syrup for about four weeks. If things get really weird, blame the Nyquil. At least as far as the recap, I can’t speak for the show.
We open with Seth looking somewhat pensively into a mirror. Ryan wanders in, asks him why he keeps touching his face, and Seth waxes poetic about a pending pimple that didn’t happen. Ryan doesn’t see why this is an issue, and Seth rattles of some stuff about things going too well. Seth, you damn idiot. No, wait, it’s Ryan who’s the idiot because he starts talking about senior year being the best year. Seth informs all non-Traumateers (aka folks who aren’t as good at TV as us) that when things are going well, trouble comes knockin. Or ringing the doorbell, as the case may be. Ryan goes to answer the door, and someone IMDB informs me is Willa Holland and not Shailene Woodley is on the other side. I swear, the only reason soaps have kids on them is to send them off and recast someone else as the same character later.
Marines: Take heart, Shailene Woodley. You’re doing many more things than Willa Holland currently is.
Wendy: This new and improved Kaitlin Cooper starts rambling about the Persian dude in her house and Prada shoes and potential step-fathers and honestly I don’t blame Ryan for looking confused. Did he ever meet Marissa’s sister? I could go look, but that’s more effort than I want to put in for a detail this trivial. (M: I cannot recall them being on screen together, but also we saw Shailene Woodley like 2 times or something.) Then a light bulb seems to start to flicker (like fluorescent lights when they first come on but don’t have the confidence to light up fully. RIP, George Carlin). There’s an OMG, Seth comes in and seconds the OMG, Kaitlin calls him weird neighbor kid and I want to punch her a little. I have had ups and downs with Seth’s character, but that’s bratty just for the sake of brattiness. Not a fan. Then there’s an uncomfortable comment about growing boobs and, really, aren’t boarding schools supposed to teach manners? And is it just me, or does she look a little like an extra from the Baby, One More Time Era?
Mari: Perfect.
Wendy: California, here we come. Side bar – I have binge watched most of season two and the first half of season three in a week and am hearing this damn song in my dreams. Unfortunately, I only know it from this show so I’m basically dreaming the credits on a loop. Nyquil is not always your friend, folks.
Cohen’s Kitchen for Wayward Strays – small talk about how long it’s been since Kaitlin was home and how Julie wants them to wait till she’s there to explain the new living arrangements. Summer strolls in to be informed Kaitlin is back. She calls her Mini-Coop and OK, I giggled.
The rest of the Cooper females descend and I really want this kitchen. It’s so roomy. I love my house, but if I have more than three people in my kitchen one of them is sitting on the counter. (M: Plus, where do you have all your dramatic meetings and fit in all your exposition? You need a roomy kitchen.) (W: We have to meet in the backyard. Temperatures in the summer can be problematic.)
Julie rambles about not knowing how to tell her and wanting to protect her and then says Kaitlin is just like her. God help everyone. Kaitlin wanders in (looking much more demur and less catholic schoolgirl fantasy, I must say). There are hugs, along with questions about why she isn’t at Fashion Week in Paris, like last year. Kaitlin looks a bit crushed and says “I thought you’d be happy to see me.” Julie reassures her, then starts to explain what’s been going on and the kitchen clears like a grenade was dropped, although Marissa does stop to hug Kaitlin and tell her they’ll hang out after school.
Julie actually faces the music pretty well, as we see the two of them at the trailerpark, and Julie is trying to sell the positive points. It’s a mile from the beach, it’s Tiffany blue, etc. Kaitlin looks like she’s buying none of this. Julie sees it and hastily reassures her it’s only until the new business takes off. Little Cooper remains skeptical as Julie shows her the pull-out bed, which is valid. Those things are normally hella uncomfortable. But then she attempts to be a good daughter and muster some enthusiasm, likening it to a slumber party. Julie sees this dog/ purse thing (IDK, y’all. I think I mentioned before I’m pretty exclusive with jeans and tee-shirts) that Marissa gave Kaitlin when she was little. Julie then suggests blowing off a meeting with Kirsten to have a girls afternoon, and I’m torn. One one hand, spending time with the newly returned offspring is valid, but that doesn’t seem like a good way to start a new venture. Kaitlin’s phone bings and she listens to the message as Julie leaves. It’s from some guy who is disbelieving that she just took off like that. She cuts off the message before it ends and sits down, looking. . . pensive, maybe? Broody? Anyway.
Mari: I guess inability to emote is a shared sister trait. How unfortunate.
Wendy: Fade and reemerge in the impossibly fantastic school lounge with Marissa saying she feels like she missed so much of her sister’s life, and she feels guilty, because she didn’t make much of an effort to keep in touch and they were never really that close to begin with. The other two of the core four join them and Seth makes a comment about lanky-limbed jailbait and I start looking for my brain bleach. Taylor dive bombs the group for no other purpose than to make everyone feel awkward. She compares Marissa to someone returning from ‘Nam and as someone who knows people who have come back from wars going back to the World War II, I want to Hulk-Smash her. I know the point is the ridiculousness of the comparison, but I get very twitchy when someone makes jokes about veterans. I have very little sense of humor when it comes to people who have legit trauma from war. (M: Totally legit.)
Also, Marissa mentions she hasn’t talked to Johnny lately which. . .
. . .Let’s us see what’s going on over at Union. (M: AKA the one staircase we see when we go to Union.) Chili is trying to convince Johnny to call Marissa and honestly, why does everyone love this girl? I know it’s been brought up before, but it’s ridikity. Of course, Chili’s phone rings and being a good friend who respects Johnny’s wishes. . . OK, no, he shoves Johnny so Marissa can invite him to meet Kaitlin. Really? Dude outright told you he’s into you and this is your bright idea? Is she really that big of a dumbass? Yeah, don’t answer that. He agrees, but looks exceedingly uncomfortable.
Gorgeous, peaceful beach scene that I’d like to watch forever. Oh, never mind, here come the younger Cooper girls talking about shopping and meeting Johnny. Kaitlin gets in a dig about losing touch and you’d think if Marissa felt genuinely guilty about not keeping up with her sister while she was away she might show some remorse. Fortunately, Johnny and Chili (Kaitlin refers to him as Carrot Top. I snort) arrive, saving us from Mischa Barton trying to emote.
In the diner, there is much awkardness, and after a few minutes, Johnny leaves, saying he thinks he forgot to lock his car. Then Kaitlin makes a small bladder comment and also bails, leaving Marissa and Chili alone. Marissa asks what’s going on with the surfing tour, and Chili asks are you really that stupid. She answers, why, yes, I am, so Chili spells out the lying about getting on the tour so she would go back to Harbor situation for her. (I might have paraphrased a bit.)
Kaitlin, is not in fact in the bathroom, but chasing Johnny down the pier to ask him how long he’s been in love with Marissa. Does no one believe in good old-fashioned lust anymore? Why is it automatically love? Little Coop mentions Marissa’s unavailability. And follows with a suggestive “unlike me. . . ”
Leaving that squickiness behind, at the Cohen’s Ryan is answering the door to find a guy (the one from the message? Hmm) looking for Kaitlin. Ryan lies, says he hasn’t seen her in years and doesn’t know where she is. Dude leaves his phone number and requests Ryan get in touch if she shows up.
Mari: I like that Ryan automatically lies. “Someone asking for someone? BEST LIE.”
Wendy: Trailer park. Heavy metal. Ryan arrives to ask Kaitlin about Dude with Questions. She says his name is Justin and she met him at a mixer, barely spoke to him, but he kept calling her. She finally told her dorm mother, got Justin in trouble, and now he says hes ruining his chances to get into Princeton. Ryan says he’ll take care of it, and Kaitlin requests he not tell Marissa, since they are just getting to know each other again.
There’s a teeny scene at Johnny’s house when Marissa shows up and Johnny tells her he wants her out of his life. She looks like someone kicked her puppy and honestly the only reason I included this is because my first thought after he booted her was “Way harsh, Tai” and I had to include this:
At the Bait Shop, Ryan meets Justin to tell him to leave town. Justin says he isn’t leaving without the $1500 Kaitlin stole. Ooh, the plot thickens. She also told Justin that she’s 16 instead of 14. Justin leave and Ryan looks. . .well, like Ryan does.
There’s a scene with Summer and Ryan dealing with the Dr Roberts sub-plot I’m leaving out due to length (and cough syrup induced lack of an ability to focus) issues, but I want to say I wish the camera had been angled just slightly differently so I could see what Seth is reading. One thing about this show, the comic book/ geek cred is strong. They mentioned Brian Bendis in season two and I flailed and fangirled for five solid minutes.
Trailer o’ Shame. Marissa is flinging clothes around and being pissy and gets more so when she figures out that Ryan knew that Johnny lied. Ryan states the obvious (should be, anyway). Guy is in an awkward position and needs some space. Marissa agrees and they’re kind of cute for a second. She finds what she was looking for and heads out (leaving the giant mess behind her. Ryan sees a bag with the logo of the fraternity Justin mentioned. He looks in it, but finds no trace of the money. Well, duh. If I had $1500, I certainly wouldn’t leave it where Julie Cooper could find it. (M: A+)
Next morning in the Cohen’s kitchen for waifs. Seth calls Ryan pensive (not sure how he can tell, but OK, we’ll go with it). Ryan fills him in on the Kaitlin/ Justin situation. The Cooper girls arrive to disrupt the conversation, but Seth quickly herds Marissa out of the room so Ryan and Kaitlin can talk. Subtle, Seth. But Marissa seemed surprised Johnny wasn’t actually leaving, so maybe it worked. Ryan confronts Mini Coop, and she says she took the money from the guy because he wouldn’t do anything for a friend of hers that he got pregnant. Ryan says she needs to come clean with Marissa, but Kaitlin just brats and leaves.
Mari: I like that he believed this lie instantly even though she lied the first time. Mini-Coop knows her audience. (W: I can’t decide if he’s trying to give her the benefit of the doubt or he’s just that dumb. Leaning towards dumb).
Wendy: Back at the Trailer o’ Shame, we hear someone knocking at the door and Kaitlin saying something about Gus and candy. With all the things Julie has said plus this tidbit, I can’t deny I’m a bit curious about Gus at this point. But, no, it’s Johnny who has come to apologize. Mini Coop tells him Marissa isn’t there, and invites him to the launch party. I’m sure this will go well.
At the pier, Ryan is telling Marissa about the money and she decides to try to talk to Kaitlin at the party. Y’all, these scenes are so short I’m getting whiplash from all the changes of location. And I’m leaving out like half of them.
At the party set-up, Ryan and Marissa are talking about the stolen money when the doorbell rings. Justin and three other dudes are there and the one doing the talking seems slightly cross-eyed and possibly has a bird’s nest on his head. It’s very distracting. Kaitlin appears looking for cocktail napkins and Bird’s Nest calls her a bitch. Ryan sends her to the pool house. Marissa follows her, but when she gets there it looks like she’s vamoosed.
Did you think there wouldn’t be a cute animal gif? Silly people. You should know me better by now.
After the Not a Commercial Break, we see a taxi at the Trailer o’ Shame as Ryan and Marissa pull up. Inside, Kaitlin is packing. (M: Because a hasty getaway is never too hasty to leave WITHOUT YOUR STUFF.) (W: THE STUFF IS IMPERATIVE. YOU MUST ALWAYS HAVE YOUR STUFF). There’s some back and forth between the girls. Marissa calls Kaitlin a self-righteous princess. Kaitlin is upset because she spent the last two Christmases with strangers (no Christmakuh for your sister, Marissa? For shame).
The trailer park is owned by the father of one of Kaitlin’s friends. Turns out the entire school knew about her mom living in the trailer park. How is Julie still paying for boarding school, by the way? (M: I’m just figuring that she wasn’t completely destitute, but boarding school is why she can’t have a house. GO WITH IT.) (W: This logic makes sense. I will accept this hand-waving of the monetary issues) Kaitlin says she stole the money because she wanted to come home and make sure everyone was OK. She gets the money out of the dog/ purse monstrosity from earlier and gives it to Ryan. She also apologizes for lying.
At the business launch party, the Sisters Cooper chat about the Newport party scene, and Kaitlin says she always thought the parties would be cooler. (Should have been at the party where your sister called your parents a whore and a thief. That one was fairly lively.) Things seem to perk up just a touch when Johnny shows up to apologize. Marissa accepts, tells him not to be a stranger, and then asks if he’s seen Coop #2. Yeah, she’s out front laying (lying? I’m never sure) in wait. Marissa asks Johnny if he can give her a ride home and Traumateers know no good can come of this.
Mari: Marissa, however, is as unaware as ever.
Wendy: After they leave, the broody twosome are talking and is it just me or do they not seem very couply this episode? Ryan mentions Kaitlin was seeing Justin and Marissa seems surprised (Really? Your mother banged your ex-boyfriend. This seems much more run-of-the-mill). He also says he knows what it’s like to fall for a Cooper girl. We get Marissa’s voice saying “hopefully she’s in bed” as we cut to
The interior of Johnny’s car. In the middle of a discussion on whether you can’t go home because you’ve changed or your concept of home has changed, Kaitlin tells Johnny to stop the car. She feels like going for a swim. She takes off, leaving him calling after her, then picking up her discarded dress. Sorry, you get no points for this. Veronica did it better. Mainly because Veronica does everything better.
Final thoughts. There seemed to be an awful lot going on this episode, without a whole lot actually happening. I didn’t cover the sub-plot of Taylor’s mom and Summer’s dad for the sake of (sort of) brevity, even though I had a nickname/ title for Taylor’s mom I was pretty pleased with. But didn’t we all know he was going to end up with Julie Cooper, anyway? Although I will say Seth’s strategy of telling Taylor that Dr. Roberts has genital warts to keep her mom away from him was both devious and genius. There was not enough Sandy. My favorite scene was the Cohens plus Summer talking strategy to keep Dr. Roberts/ Taylor’s mom apart. I liked because Kirsten admits she set it up, and why she did it. The communication they have is mind-boggling. They tell each other things, and sometimes problems get worked out! Who knew? There were some sort of nice moments with Marissa and Kaitlin, and I do appreciate that Kaitlin wanted to come home to make sure everyone was all right. Julie wasn’t too horrific in this episode. But overall I’m fairly meh on this season overall so far. There isn’t even anything that’s made me really angry (comments about coming back from Nam aside). Maybe it’s the Nyquil.
Thanks again to the Reigning Ladies of Snark for letting me play in their sandbox. It’s an honor and a pleasure.
Next time on The OC: Kaitlin is bad to the bone in S03 E13 – The Pot Stirrer.
Distributor of cute animals. I'm both a freak and a geek who lives in Texas. I love reading, pop culture, comic books, and making people happy. Music owns my soul. I have very little patience for mean people.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
