The OC S03 E17 – The birthday you never wanted.

Previously: Summer found out her dad is dating Julie Cooper. Times were tough.
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The Journey

Samantha: Helloooooooo again, friends! We are late into Season 3 and I have to be honest. As much as I <3 this show, I have never re-watched this season. There are a lot of reasons for that but the simple one is: I thought it was a 9.9 disaster on the Richter Scale . So I may be a little fuzzy on specific details and I shall do my very best to keep my !feels! as non spoilery as possible.

Let’s get down to business.

The previouslies remind me of my number one wtf plot line of this season which was Johnny and his ridiculous death over the edge of a cliff. They also show me Ryan and Marissa breaking up (again!) and Ryan chatting up some girl in a towel that I have literally no memory of. Welcome to the crazy, Towel Girl.

We open at Casa Cohen where the family is polishing off a meal. Kirsten asks Ryan what he wants to eat on his birthday on Sunday (she understands that this is the most important part of the birthday). Seth continues to demonstrate that he lives in a world where he is the supreme occupant by not knowing Ryan’s birthday. (M: Dammit, Seth.) He decides that Ryan needs a birthday party, despite Ryan saying he doesn’t want a birthday party. Why is it that no one listens to the birthday person about what they want to do on their birthday? I guess I should just be happy that this is a pretty solid excuse for one of Newport’s million parties. All of the Cohen’s jump on board and it is decided! Ryan will have an 18th birthday party!

Marines: Hope you enjoy this thing you don’t want! 

Samantha: Next up there are some long brooding shots of Ryan and Marissa staring at their respective phones, either thinking about calling each other or really over thinking those pizza topping options. Neither calls the other or orders a thin crust pizza with mushrooms.

Californiaaaaaaaaaaaa!

School of Looking so Early 2000s. Summer comes up to Marissa asking where she was last night. They have a fairly typical post-breakup friend conversation and Marissa ends with “Would I lie about pancakes?” God, I sure hope not Marissa or I’d have to revoke my middle school adoration once and for all.

Mari: Girl, it’s admirable that you haven’t already. 

Samantha: Summer tries to tell Marissa about their parents but Marissa is too distracted by Ryan’s sudden appearance. She flees, presumably because her obligatory five minutes on school grounds is up. Summer heads over to talk to Ryan about the weird between him and Marissa. Ryan gives her broody look.

At Casa Cohen, Sandy and Kirsten are discussing Ryan’s birthday and Kirsten says that she wants to invite Ryan’s real mother, despite how bumpy it was the last time she was there. “Oh, you mean when she got drunk at casino night and knocked the craps table over?” Ah, better times, Sandy. Better times. Sandy promises to try and find her. They then decide to keep it a “surprise” for Ryan to “not get his hopes up.” Mmkay.

Mari: Hope you enjoy your mom around even though no one asked you if you’d like that! 

Samantha: Summer runs up to Seth where’s he’s just chilling on the couch at school. He has a textbook open on his lap but I’m not buying it. No one looks that comfortable when actually studying. She panics about fixing Ryan and Marissa (again!) and about Ryan’s upcoming No Drama Here Birthday Party.

Julie and Doc Roberts are hurriedly getting dressed while discussing finally telling their daughters about the sexing. They land on “nah, not yet” since they aren’t sure how serious they are. Julie looks truly stunning and doesn’t say or do anything terrible in this scene.

Uh. Now Ryan shows up at Towel Girl (now dressed in jeans and a tank) Apartment. I’m just so weirded out that I have no memory of her. Who is she? She doesn’t even look familiar. (M: This actress later goes on to star in Twilight. Never gonna stop mentioning that.) She has her own apartment so who knows how old she is. Let’s see what other clues present themselves. They discuss his break up with Marissa. “So you just have to decide what you want,” Towel Girl says, with bedroom eyes.

Marissa arrives home and Volchek is being a terrible creeping creep and making a lot of noise while being awful and creepy outside. He flees when Marissa tries to talk to him so I’m not sure what he even wanted.

Birthday Captain Seth strolls into the Pondering Pool House and informs Ryan of his now Big but Totally Drama Free I’m Sure Birthday Bash! Towel Girls gets a name: Sadie. But until I have some sort of memory of her, she will probably remain Towel Girl. They debate inviting Marissa and Seth tells Ryan that he has until Sunday to decide. If this is supposed to be a rager type party, why not throw it on Saturday? Won’t everyone have school the next day? Am I the only one concerned with getting enough sleep?

Mari: It’s TV. Everyone on TV has about 13 hours in the morning between waking up and school starting. Surely they can use that to catch a few extra z’s. 

Sam: Summer Sanctuary. Seth and Summer discuss the problems of the episode some more until the doorbell rings. After some seriously questionable mail tampering, Summer finds out that her dad is taking Julie Cooper on a cruise which means wedding bells are in the near future. She rushes off to finally tell Marissa.

Ryan and Towel Girl are doing something with saws and Ryan gives her an invite to his birthday party. She says she probably won’t be able to make it (since it’s the most last minute thing ever) but then notices Ryan’s invitation for Marissa that conveniently fell on the floor. They talk a bit more and Towel Girl says something about being in some way connected to Johnny. I was hoping that this would help clarify who she is in my head, but it did not. Were they lovers? Friends? Siblings? Knitting buddies? (M: Almost definitely that last one.) Bonus comment: Ryan looks good in sawdust.

Marissa yells “come in” at the front door, without knowing who’s there, which worries me for her safety and horrifies my introvert. More “should we/shouldn’t we” discussion keeps Summer from spilling the parental beans once again.

Sandy has found Ryan’s mom and, being the best, is flying out to Albuquerque to rescue her.

Mari: Hope she doesn’t want to stay in Albuquerque or anything!

Samantha: Julie is blown off by Doc Roberts and bumps into Summer. In Summer’s house, where Summer lives. Where she was, being the opposite of covert. Summer informs her that she knows about the two of them and shows her the cruise information. Then, Julie proceeds to have a fairly sensitive and normal conversation with Summer about their relationship and I sort of love it. I forgot that Julie kind of comes around at some point.

Sandy visits Dawn Atwood in, of course, prison. (M: Oops, she probably doesn’t want to stay in Albuquerque.) Sandy continues earning eyebrows and person points all around as he talks with her and promises to look into her case. He’s the best.

Marissa is meeting up with a Pretty Boy. He’s a cop or a something official? He’s giving her back a letter that she wrote to Johnny. I start gagging at her brooding and then Volchek shows up and I full on have to excuse myself. Volchek gets busted by a cop for existing and I cackle.

Pondering Pool House: Ryan’s 18th Birthday. Seth comes in to sort of wish Ryan a happy birthday. In this scene Ben McKenzie looks even less high school-y than usual.

Over pancakes, Julie finally tells Marissa about dating Doc Roberts. It becomes pretty clear that the whole Doc Roberts is Taking Julie on a Surprise Cruise thing is going to be a misunderstanding.

Sandy is getting Dawn out of prison because he’s magic and the best ever and I love him.

Ryan is back at Apartment of Random Renovations. Towel Girl gives him a hammer with an inscription that’s loaded with weird innuendo. “Think of me every time you pound something.” Uh. Okay. They laugh like it’s totally cute and not weird and he tells her that he didn’t invite Marissa. She tells him that she’s meeting the love of her life tonight to talk things over. Oh the angst and tension.

Marissa is trying to find Volchek. God knows why. He’s terrible.

Mari: It may or may not have something to do with the fact that she’s terrible too. Sorry, Middle School Sam. 

Samantha: I am forever in denial.

Julie confronts Doc Roberts about the cruise and he acts completely weird and she doesn’t notice. She macks hard on him in public and everyone stares and whispers like it’s Rosewood.

Kirsten is also the best and calls Ryan out on not even talking to Marissa about not coming to his party. No one uses their words, Kirsten. It’s a pipe dream.

Sandy goes to the hotel to get Dawn but instead finds a letter for Ryan. Because letters are totally better than in the flesh parenting.

Mari: Absolutely no one is surprised and the fact that this is a thing that happened again in season 3 is real dumb. 

Samantha: Ryan goes to Marissa’s and just lets himself in when she doesn’t answer right away and just, whaaaaaat? Don’t do that? He finds the birthday CD she was making him this episode and I’m just baffled at this invasion of her privacy. She wasn’t even sure that she was giving it to him yet.

Ugggghhhhh Marissa goes to a giant mansion where Volchek is working. When he’s a jerk she says “You know, for once I thought you were going to be nice,” and I groan forever and ever. It’s then that the lead construction man gives some handy exposition and Marissa realizes that they are standing in the model home Ryan burned down fighting Luke in season one. (M: The contrivance! It burns!) There’s some montage-y footage of that happier time intercut with Ryan and Marissa having feels. Marissa is so overwhelmed by this that she passes out and hilariously falls down the stairs. It’s just so goofy.

At the party, Seth has created some ridiculous portraits of Ryan as various random occupations? I dunno, there’s Cowboy Ryan and Fireman Ryan and Boxer Ryan. Uh, great party Seth?

Volchek walks Marissa home and they have feels over Johnny and I sigh and get comfortable on the Heartless Cow Ottoman. Marissa goes inside and sees the invitation that Ryan left. I’m truly not sure if he left it on purpose or if he just forgot it after all the FEELS.

Mari: Either way, he didn’t have to use his words! PHEW.

Samantha: Doc Roberts confesses to Summer that the cruise was purchased months ago to try and salvage things with her step mother. But now he’s just going to go on it with Julie. Okay. Cool.

Sandy arrives at the party and confesses to Ryan about going to find his mom (in front of the Doctor Ryan portrait.) He Sandy Cohen’s to Ryan (says nice and wonderful things) and gives him the letter. Ryan goes outside to read it. Marissa walks up as he’s looking at it and broods in his direction, but at a slight distance. She changes her mind and stalks away.  Towel Girl walks up. They gaze at each other meaningfully. Now I remember this episode. Fourteen year old shipper me started yelling a lot here.

Back inside, Ryan introduces Sadie to Sandy and Kirsten and calls them his family as they beam with pride. I move a little closer to the Feels Couch.

Julie heads out to the car and Doc Roberts takes a moment to gaze at a huuuuuge diamond ring.

Marissa sits in her dramatic life guard hut on the beach as Volchek shows up. Because she called him. She takes a swig of alcohol because she wants to super bum me out.

Seth announces a big surprise for Ryan: a tribute to his favorite band! But wait, it’s supposed to be a Journey tribute, but they’re singing a Foreigner song! Because Ryan is wonderful, he thanks Seth instead of pointing out his mistake. But wait again, it wasn’t a mistake, Seth purposefully got a Foreigner band instead of Journey because that’s what he wanted! Happy birthday, Ryan!

Mari: Hope you didn’t want anything you actually wanted!

 

Next time on The OC: A rift forms in Ryan and Sadie’s relationship already because of course in S03 E18 – The Undertow.