Doctor Who S04 E05 – Dull potatoes.

Previously: Potato looking aliens took over the world’s cars.

The Poison Sky

Marines: After a recap of the last episode, we jump straight to the credits.

DOO WEE OOH.

The Doctor is trying to sonic his way into the car where Wilf is being poisoned. Sylvia Noble comes out of nowhere with a sledgehammer and busts the windshield open like a boss and because DUH!

Kirsti: But seriously, why did no one think of that earlier?! 

Mari: At UNIT, general chaos. Colonel Mace goes into a command room where a helpful woman lets him know that ATMOS has gone wild all over the world. Not!Martha walks into the room and dismisses a man at a computer. She logs onto NATO and starts copying security protocols.

At the Noble house, 12 Year Old Driver shows up, having commandeered a taxi with no ATMOS. The Doctor climbs in and asks Donna if she’s coming. Her mum tells her not to go, because the Doctor is dangerous, but Wilf tells her to go on. “That’s my girl,” he cheers as Donna climbs into the car.

K: I have a lot of feelings about Wilf and how supportive he is of Donna, no matter what. A LOT OF FEELS.

Mari: Your feelings are legitimate.

Martha’s done copying protocols and she slips back out of the command room. Outside, she uses her phone to transmit the data to the Sontaran. On the ship, Staal says they’re ready for war and Rattigan basically creams himself at the prospect of death and destruction.

We get a few cuts of news coverage about the toxic gasses being released by ATMOS. 12 Year Old Driver drops Donna and the Doctor out in front of UNIT. He radios into Colonel Mace that he’s brought them back safely. Not!Martha overhears it and rushes in to tell Mace about the Doctor’s “Code Red Sontaran” to cover her tracks.

Outside, Donna is coughing ’cause of the poison air and all. The Doctor says it isn’t so bad for him, but maybe she should wait in the car TARDIS. He realizes that he never gave her a key and smiles over what a big moment this is. Donna, bless her, says maybe they can get emotional about it after they finish not choking on poison gas.

K: BEST.

Mari: The Doctor agrees and then runs inside UNIT to help stop the war.

Donna lets herself into the TARDIS and coughs a lot.

The Doctor goes into the command room and tells the Colonel not to attack the Sontaran because what they want is war. He grandly announces his plans to use the TARDIS to get onto the Sontaran ship, but not!Martha is there to hear all his plans. I think she texts the Sontaran. Or maybe she just texts Sensible and my favorite and your favorite CHADW, because next we see, they are marching somewhere purposefully.

K: Not gonna lie, I’m kind of glad we got to keep CHADW around for a second episode rather than him going off to the Nickname Graveyard right away.

Mari: The Doctor grabs not!Martha and tells her to come on.

Sensible and CHADW find the TARDIS and attach two devices to the outside. The TARDIS dematerializes. Inside, Donna gets jostled a little when it lands. Outside, Staal happily proclaims it a spoil of war. Ratti-nerd says that it’s his turn to make a move because he’s got soldiers of his own.  He teleports out of there and the Sontaran say he’s acting exactly as planned and absolutely no humans know their real plans.

Donna peaks out of the TARDIS, sees she’s surrounded by potatoes in blue space suits and quickly ducks back inside.

The Doctor runs into the alley where he left the TARDIS, but it’s gone. Not!Martha is like, “SHOCK! Where is it?” The Doctor detects a metallic tang in the air, so he guesses the Sontarans have taken it with a teleport exchange. But it’s supposed to be undetectable. The Doctor looks thoughtfully at not!Martha and asks if she’s phoned her parents or Tom. Not!Martha says no, not understanding, until the Doctor clarifies that she should warn them to stay inside. Not!Martha tries to cover by asking where Donna is. The Doctor says she’s home because she’s not a soldier like Martha.

K: I spent this whole scene distracted by how great David Tennant’s sideburns are.

Mari: Genius School. The genius kids are all standing outside looking at the gas and chaos, I guess. Ratti-nerd appears behind them, saying it’s time he reveals what all their work has been for.

Command Room. The Doctor announces a change of plan. Mace thinks this means fighting, but the Doctor insists he’s not fighting. Instead, he asks what the gas is and an officer, Captain Marion Price, explains that the gas isn’t lethal until it reaches 80% density. Mace pulls up an image of the Sontaran ship in space.

The Doctor calls them and on the TARDIS, the image comes up on the console screen. Before it fully appears, though, we see a flash of Rose yelling something, but it’s gone super quick. Donna doesn’t seem to see it. (As an aside, this means that all three New Who companions showed up this episode.) Instead she asks the Doctor if he can hear her.

In the command room, Mace says the Sontaran look like trolls and the Doctor snarks about his diplomacy. Meanwhile, the Doctor sits down, puts his feet up and calls them cowards.

The Doctor says Staal has to admit that poison gas is the weapon of a coward. The Doctor asks lots of, “so what’s this all about?” questions that Staal doesn’t answer. But, being the Doctor, he’s pretty much already worked out that the war between the Sontarans and the Rutans must not be going well. It’s been going on for 50,000 years and for what? Staal says for victory and starts chanting, “sonta-ha.” The Doctor shuts that off, switching the channel to a cartoon instead. Mace tries to insist that the Doctor not talk for planet Earth, but the Doctor ignores him and pulls up the Sontaran chat screen again.

K: There were a lot of Dark!Doctor tendencies in here, what with all the mentions of war and all.

Mari: Staal boasts about having captured the TARDIS and the Doctor looks at it and says, “that’s just noble.” Donna gets that’s he’s trying to address her. He says that the TARDIS is a phone box, which is kind of symbolic, like if only (wink) he could communicate (wink) with a phone or something (wink, wink).

K: SUPER subtle, Doctor. No one ever could work out that there was a secret message in there.

Mari: The next step was just to be like, “I’ll call you, Donna Noble!”

Donna remembers the cell phone, but she doesn’t know who to call or what to do.

The Doctor tells the Sontaran it was probably a mistake showing him the TARDIS since he’s got a remote control. Staal cuts the transmission and tells his people to move the TARDIS out of the transmission field.

Genius School. Ratti-nerd is grandstanding about all the things they’ve been inventing and how he’s going to move them to a new planet or something. All the geniuses pretty much think he’s nuts. One of the girls wants to go and find her brother so Ratti-nerd pulls a gun out. He twitchily tells the students that he did this for all of them because being bullied sucks so now they can go live and breed on their own planet. Girl Genius is like, “yeah, no. You’re going to have to shoot me.” She leaves and the rest of the genius students follow. The last one to leave tells him he’s sick.

K: The “….WTF” looks on their faces are amazing.

Mari: Ratti-nerd is left to stomp his feet and shout about how clever he is.

News clips about a worldwide UN directive to stay indoors and out of large cities.

Donna calls her mum, who is being as rude as ever, but Donna tells her not to start. Sylvia crumbles a bit and says she wishes Donna was with them. Wilf takes the phone and asks where Donna is, where the Doctor is. Donna tells him that she’s not with the Doctor. Wilf reminds her that she said the Doctor would take care of her. She’s crying a bit now as she says that he will. Not only that, but he’ll save the world. Wilf says that if he doesn’t, the Doctor’ll have to answer to him. Donna cries some more as Wilf hangs up.

UNIT. The Doctor marches over to Not!Martha and snatches some papers out of her hands. It’s the breakdown of the poison gas. 10% of it is made out of something unidentified, so the Doctor guesses the Sontaran must be using the gas for something besides killing everyone.

Mace starts shouting orders for launching some weapons (K: Including nukes from North Korea. Did Doctor Who correctly predict the future again?!). The Doctor yells at him but Mace says they have no choice. The Doctor gives the camera a lot of OH NO looks.

Staal confirms that some of his troops are in place to do something nefarious, I’m sure.

The Doctor tells Mace he’s making a big mistake and hopes for once that the Sontaran are one step ahead. Captain Price counts down from 10, but we see that a little, “do you want to launch these weapons, check yes or no” kind of thing pops up on not!Martha’s phone. She checks hits no. No launch. The Doctor says that missiles wouldn’t even dent their ship, so why are the Sontaran so keen to stop them. He asks not!Martha if she has any ideas and she says, “how should I know?”

Sontaran troops march into the factory. 12 Year Old Driver is there and he calls Mace with the news. The Doctor tells them to run, but Mace tells them to open fire. Their guns don’t work, though so the other soldiers get promptly killed. 12 Year Old is alive long enough to pass the message to the Doctor that it’s the Cordelaine signal and he’s the only one who can stop it.

Mace keeps calling to Greyhound 40 for a report, but you know. He’s dead. The Doctor gets ANGRY and says that his name wasn’t Greyhound 40; it was [12 Year Old Driver]. He yells for Mace to get the rest of the soldiers out of there. Mace finally listens.

But the Sontaran are already shooting and soldiers are already dying. Like, there’s a lot of death and screaming and the Sontaran are having way too much fun with it.

Command room. The Doctor still doesn’t get why any of this is happening. He references the Brigadier, which Wikipedia tells me is one of the founders of UNIT. A little light fan service in the middle of all this dying, I guess. (K: There’ve been some other Classic Who nods in this episode, but this is the most obvious) Price gets the missiles back online, but not!Martha checks NO again and they go back offline. Price says someone is in their system and starts trying to trace the signal.

Ratti-nerd teleports back onto the Sontaran ship and says he failed to bring back the students. Staal says that’s a shame because they were going to shoot them for funsies. They really just needed Ratti-nerd to install ATMOS. Ratti-nerd is sad because he wanted to be genocidal besties with the Sontaran, or whatever. He teleports back to Earth before his ex-besties can execute him. The Sontaran seal off the teleport links.

Ratti-nerd cries in his transport pod. AND NO ONE CARES because he’s awful.

K: SERIOUSLY. He’s such a stereotypical “I DESERVE EVERYTHING ON A PLATTER, THE WORLD OPPRESSES ME BECAUSE I’M A GEEK” nerdboy who makes zero effort to actually be a decent person. Ugh.

Mari: Mace and the Doctor try to figure out what the Sontaran want in the factory. Mace wants to go find more weapons for fighting and the Doctor yells at him again that you can’t fight Sontaran.

The Doctor borrows a phone from an officer and uses it to call Donna. He needs her to go out into the Sontaran ship. She’s clearly worried around taking a stroll on an alien war ship, but the Doctor reminds her that the world is choking. He needs her to reopen the teleport link.

Donna peeks outside and there is a Sontaran posted right by the door. She tells the Doctor and he explains about the vent on their neck. Donna thinks she’s going to get killed and the Doctor apologizes and assures her that she can do it all in one breath.

Donna sees a little sledge hammer by the console. She grabs it, sneaks outside and takes down the Sontaran. She gets back on the phone and sing songs, “back of the neck.” I love her so much. (K: SAME)

 
Next, the Doctor explains what the teleport link looks like. She says there’s a door, though, and you need 3 fingers like a Sontaran to open it. The Doctor is like, “… you have 3 fingers.” Donna has to Vulcan salute to fit her hand to the pad, but the door opens. She tells the Doctor she’s through and he tells her how brilliant she is. “Shut up,” she tells him and it’s perfect.

Mace comes back into the command room. The Doctor tells Donna to keep the line open, but hides the phone and yells at Mace some more about not attacking. Mace throws a gas mask at the Doctor in response. The Doctor grabs his coat, but not!Martha says he’s not going anywhere without her.

Donna peeks around a corner on the ship and sees a bunch of Sontaran marching toward her. She crouches and hides. Not very well, but luckily when you are a potato, you can’t look down or back very well.

UNIT. Mace is showing the Doctor his guns, as if he genuinely hasn’t heard a single NO GUNS DAMMIT thing the Doctor has said. The Doctor keeps himself busy by inside joking with himself.

I saw something on Tumblr as I was looking for gifs about how one of the only people who would get that inside joke is trapped in another dimension. So, have fun crying.

K: WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME.

Mari: Tumblr did it to me first.

Mace keeps explaining about his super special bullets, but the Doctor reminds him that the Sontaran have LASERS. Mace says, in so many words, that he isn’t listening. He gives all the soldiers a pep-talk and then the Valiant (or the Non-SHIELD Helicarrier) appears, its engines clearing away the fog. The Doctor laughs because this is actually brilliant, though he’s still not happy about guns and war.

The Non-SHIELD Helicarrier shoots at the factory. Ground soldiers move in and now they are more evenly matched with the Sontaran. Mace, Doctor and not!Martha also run in. Mace takes off one way and the Doctor quickly tells Donna to hold on. He’s coming. He pockets the phone just as not!Martha asks if they shouldn’t follow Mace. The Doctor is using the sonic screwdriver to detect alien technology and says it’ll be just Martha and him like old times.

Not!Martha follows him all the way to the room in the factory where Martha is unconscious and connected to some alien tech. Not!Martha pulls out a gun and brags about how she’s been stopping the launch code. The Doctor says she’s been doing what he wanted because he didn’t want missiles either. He’s known all along that she was a clone, mostly thanks to her rank smell. He says she might as well have been wearing a t-shirt that says “clone,” though probably not around Captain Jack. This slightly strange mention of Captain Jack is just so that the Doctor can remind us that not!Martha has Martha’s memories. The Sontaran had to keep Martha alive to keep the clone alive. The Doctor pulls at the thing on Martha’s head and once she’s disconnected, not!Martha falls to the ground, clutching her heart.

The Doctor hugs Martha, but his ringing cellphone interrupts them. He remembers he’s real busy right now. Donna has located the fusebox and the Doctor tells her to flip all the switches up.

Upstairs, Mace kills one of lead Sontaran whose name I never noticed. It’s cool. He’s dying now.

Martha notices the dying clone and it’s kind of trippy for her. (K: Legit, gir.l) They are sharing a moment but the Doctor, while trying to fix the teleport machine, wants to know about the gas. Martha appeals to not!Martha on the basis of their shared memories. Not!Martha tells them what the gas is made of and the Doctor figures it all out: the Sontaran are trying to convert the world into a clone breeding ground. The gas isn’t poison; it’s food. With a planet this big, they are going to be able to make thousands of new soldiers.

The Doctor goes back to repairing the teleportation pod. Martha and the dying clone keep sharing a moment, basically in which the clone tells Martha that’s she’s got all these plans and a lot of life. Not!Martha dies. Martha takes her engagement ring back and puts it on her finger.

Donna is done with the blue switches. She whisper-yells into the phone at the Doctor, who hears her and picks up his own phone. Just then, Sontarans march by, but the Doctor aims his sonic screwdriver at the teleportation pod and brings Donna back to earth. She runs and hugs him, asking if she’s ever told him how much she hates him.

K: I have a lot of feelings about Donna’s role in all of this, because she has terrible self confidence a lot of the time, courtesy of being told time and time again by her mother that she’s worthless. And who saves the mother effing planet? DONNA NOBLE.

Mari: That’s such a great observation to make in this episode in particular because she does what she needs to, but she’s certainly tentative and scared. Donna Noble is actually a very tender character. I think she gets a bad rap as brash, just because she doesn’t immediately fall for the Doctor the way that other companions have.

The Doctor next brings back the TARDIS. That done, he calls Martha over and they all stand in the pod and teleport over to Genius School. Ratti-nerd is there, still holding his gun and the Doctor is 1000% over it.

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Martha and Donna follow sheepishly behind. Martha is wearing the Doctor’s coat and Donna jokes about how she’s making it work. Martha says it feels like wearing her dad’s clothes. Donna says if she’s saying “dad,” she’s definitely getting over him.

A Sontaran soldier reports to Staal about Donna being on board. Staal says it’s whatever and orders the ATMOS turned all the way up.

Sylvia is coughing and crying at the Noble house. Wilf tries to comfort her, saying it will be alright because Donna promised that it would be. Precious.

The Doctor is running around the Genius School lab. Since Ratti-nerd was planning on starting over on a new world, he has a an atmospheric converter handy. The Doctor assembles it and they run outside. Donna freaks out a little as she looks out at a foggy London. The Doctor sets up the converter and launches it. The gas all catches fire and we get different reaction shots of people watching the atmosphere light up.

K: I don’t entirely understand why it just didn’t burn up all the oxygen and leave us all dead. Or how it helped turn off all the ATMOS devices. But whatever.

Mari: La la la la.

On the Sontaran ship, alarms are blaring.

On Earth, the Doctor looks up at the sky and gives us tongue porn.

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As the gas is all burned away, a clear sky is left behind. Wilf and Sylvia go outside and celebrate.

Marion kisses Mace in celebration and he looks supremely unhappy about it.

The Doctor grabs the converter and runs back inside Genius School, saying they’ve got trouble now.

On the Sontaran ship, Staal orders everyone to prepare for old fashioned war.

The Doctor climbs into the teleportation pod and thanks Donna and Martha for their help. He tells Ratti-nerd to do something clever with his life. Donna realizes he’s saying goodbye and the Doctor explains that Sontaran never give up. He’s recalibrated the converter to react with Sontaran air. He’s going to light them up next, but he wants to give them a choice first. The Doctor teleports and Donna and Martha have feelings.

Sontaran Ship. The Doctor teleports in with the converter. He threatens to blow them all up, but Staal says that Sontaran don’t fear dying. The weapons countdown starts and the Doctor keeps warning them. They all start chanting Sonta-ha! and it’s clear that the Doctor really doesn’t want to die here with them.

Meanwhile, Ratti-nerd is rigging something in the teleportation pod. Martha asks what he’s doing and he replies, “something clever.” He pushes a button and teleports. On the Sontaran ship, the Doctor disappears and Ratti-nerd materializes there instead. He grabs the control for the converter and the Sontaran look at him in shock. “Sonta… HA!” he says before pushing the button and blowing the whole ship up.

K: To paraphrase Jake Peralta, cool motive, still genocide.

Mari: The Doctor falls back into the teleportation pod. He rights himself a bit and Martha runs over to sit next to him. Donna smacks him on the shoulder, but then grabs his arm. No better representation has there been of these two as companions.

The next day, Sylvia walks home from the market. She cheerily tells her neighbor that she walked the whole way because she isn’t about to drive. Inside, Wilf and Donna sit together at a table. He says he won’t tell Sylvia about where she is, but Donna has to go travel with the Doctor. He tells her to see the stars and bring a bit of them back for her old gramps. Donna hugs and kisses him and then takes off.

Back in the TARDIS, Donna finds Martha and the Doctor. She asks if Martha is going to come along, but Martha says she’s good at home. She’s better for having traveled, but she’s got her own life and world now. Just as Martha walks toward the door to leave, it slams shut. The TARDIS takes off, but it isn’t the Doctor controlling it. Martha demands to be taken home, but nothing for it.

We always say at the end of the first part of two-parters that the true feelings will come in the second part, but I really don’t have too much to say here. I don’t find the Sontaran as annoying as Kirsti does, but I have to say that spending two episodes with them wasn’t the best thing ever. This was an episode that didn’t really have a ton to say and there were no stand-out moments to me, though there were a few cute Doctor, Donna exchanges.

K: My main problem with the Sontarans is that they’re really incredibly dull. They only have one purpose – destroy everything – without any of the creepiness of the Cybermen or fun weaponry and sass of the Daleks. They’re just potatoes in armour. So yeah, this one definitely isn’t one of my favourites. At least Donna was awesome. 

 

Next time on Doctor Who: The Doctor has a daughter in S04 E06 – The Doctor’s Daughter

 

Marines (all posts)

I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.





K (all posts)

I'm a 30-something librarian and I still live with my parents because I'm super broke. Leader of Team Heartless Cow. I have an inexplicable love for 90s television, eat too much chocolate, and read more than is good for me.





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