Previously: The royals are stuck on Earth and v sad.
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Divide and Conquer
Sweeney: The previouslies remind me that even Maximus, would-be liberator of the common man, describes the slavery/caste system as a “rigid meritocracy” and before we even begin I am angered again by how bizarre and broken the good-guy/bad-guy dynamics of this story are, so we’re off to a great start. (D: Wheeeeeee!!!)
Title screen says we are starting at Declan Research Facility in Santa Barbara, CA. Marcus Kane from The 100 is leaving and someone else runs out calling after him, so we immediately learn that his show name is Dr. Declan as-in-Declan-of-the-facility, which is sad for me, because that means he’s probably important enough that I can’t keep calling him Marcus Kane. Anyway, destroyer of name fun times shows Dr. Declan an iPad with footage of Black Bolt’s run-in with the cops, which they assume is Inhuman activity, because they are also very good at TV.
They take a limo to the airport and on the way they call an inmate at the prison where Black Bolt is being held. Dr. Declan lies that he’s the inmate’s lawyer (Rude.) and says he knows the truth about why the inmate was arrested and promises to help this inmate out if the inmate helps him.
SYMBOLS! LOCKJAW!
Elsewhere in the prison, Black Bolt broods while he remembers his younger, adolescent self being lectured about royal responsibility. Young Black Bolt thinks being king of 1400 people sounds hella boring, but young Maximus ass kisses that being king is very cool. I assume the title comes with the option to abolish all my student loan debt, so I also think it sounds very cool.
Marines: I mean, the other option is apparently mining with your hands so Black Bolt should STFU and be grateful about his kinging and lack of student loan debt.
Dani: Royalty is wasted on these people.
Sweeney: Royalty, like wealth…
Mari: And Max was born with murder eyes, but we assumed that anyway.
Jessica: This whole thing felt like a ripoff/worse acted version of the Thor vs. Loki conflict, which I wasn’t really all that fan of to begin with, since it’s been so played out. But here it is yet again.
Sweeney: Back in prison, Black Bolt conveniently has a cell with a barred-but-open window overlooking the outside where there’s a bunch of press arriving. This seems like an inherently terrible idea even when your inmates don’t have super shouting powers?
Dani: White privilege, yo.
Sweeney: Louise (our researcher friend who took a leave of absence to come investigate) asks the police captain (or prison captain? I’m also not sure how this works, tbh) whether the guy they arrested had any unusual powers. He swears he didn’t see anything, even the cop car flying through the air, and he won’t let her talk to the special inmate.
The captain tells a guard to put Black Bolt in with everybody else, rather than solitary, in the hopes that the other inmates will scare him into talking.
Elsewhere in Hawaii, Medusa is still in her weird moon clothes and feels very out of place as she walks around by the beach. She sees an ATM and tells it that she is the queen of Attilan and she requires money. It’s cute. I giggled. We’ve all been there, girl. Sadly, the ATM does not oblige, even when she says please.
Dani: I loved how reluctantly she added that “please.”
Jessica: So, do the ATMs on Attilan just dispense money to royalty? This is her version of walking out of a store wearing your new suit. But she doesn’t get arrested, which might prove she is slightly better than Black Bolt. We’ll see.
Sweeney: Nobody seems quite as competent as they ought to be (possible exceptions being Gorgon, Karnak, and Auran) but of these two, she definitely seems the more competent half.
Out in the wilderness, Gorgon is wandering around with his friends from the beach, who now have weapons, because they went all in on befriending this dude they just met who told them superpowered enemies from the moon were coming. (J: Must have been a slow surf day.) Gorgon again tries to tell them that the superpowered enemies from the moon will, indeed, be a serious threat, but they are just excited for this absurd fight. In a sad attempt to pretend these people have any motivation to do this, the dude talking to Gorgon says that he had a king once, before the mainlanders came and decided they were a state, so now this guy is 100% ready to fight superpowered moon enemies because of colonialism or some such illogical shit. Nobody tell him about the moon mining slaves.
Mari: Don’t worry; nobody will.
Sweeney: Back on the moon, Crystal lies in bed listening to her music and brooding when she’s interrupted by Maximus. He wants to know if she’s reconsidered his offer. Her main thing now is that she doesn’t trust him, because it sure seems like he’s gonna kill everyone else. He swears he’s not going to do that, even though the previouslies reminded us that he definitely told Auran to kill everyone else. He gives Crystal a speech he’s drafted for her to give to the Genetic Council. He says she can rephrase it, but the important thing is that she shows everyone that she supports him. Her very serious, “But I don’t,” makes me laugh, though I don’t think it was supposed to. He tells her that he wants to help keep their family alive and if everyone on Earth hears that she supports him, then they’ll know it’s safe to come home. He insists that reading the speech is the way to keep what’s left of their family alive. She relents, but adds that if he goes back on his word, she’ll kill him if it’s the last thing she does.
Dani: That last line (and the superior acting) totally made me giggle.
Sweeney: This is so disappointing because the basic premise of him manipulating her into supporting him is a logical one, story-wise, but this is just SO FUCKING STUPID. “We can save them from me murdering them if you read this speech!” The argument is so clearly stupid and nobody acknowledges it as such? This could work if we were to believe that Maximus had a Ramsay Bolton-esque twisted view of the world, and this was really being sold as a gross “don’t make me be evil!” from someone truly unhinged. Instead, it’s being sold as “Maximus really thinks he’s convincing Crystal that this is an earnest plea to save lives.” I understand that not all characters can be smart, but it sure seems like this story requires these two characters, at least, to be vaguely competent.
Dani: You’re asking for an awful lot, Sweeney. Scale it back.
Sweeney: Auran and Maximus chat over comlink about strategy. Maximus tells her about Gorgon keeping his comlink so that they can find him. While this means Gorgon knows they are coming, Maximus is totally not worried about it because he’s sending Auran some backup (J: That didn’t take long), including someone named Mortis who Auran does not want to come down because she cannot control him, as he is “pure death.” So that sounds, you know, not great. Maximus insists that she’ll be fiiiiiine – she’s just gotta BELIEVE! (M: Seems on brand for this plot, in general.)
They hang up and Maximus has his psychic friend with him and asks how bad of an idea it would be to open the big scary black door in front of him. Psychic kid can’t see anything because he can’t control his gift, but Maximus decides to just wing it. Dramatic music plays as a dude emerges, wearing a very murdery looking metal face mask with glowing eyes. His voice is also robotic, but in a murdery way. Maximus is delivering on a promise that Mortis would be freed. Mortis asks about Black Bolt, and Maximus says he’ll explain in a walk and talk, after Mortis mugs for the camera. It reminds me of that one episode (or two?) of Doctor Who that I didn’t hate. But also it is terrifying and I hate it.
Mari: Literally had this gif cued up, because same.
Jessica: My notes also say “looks like something from Dr. Who,” but then go on to add “not in a complimentary way” because I’m not finding the costume scary so much as kinda cheap looking? Just didn’t impact me the way they were probably hoping it would. So far, not all that scared of Buckethead.
Sweeney: I’m just easily scared, so I guess I’m their target audience! (M: I’m with you.)
Back on Earth, Auran is waiting for her squad in an empty airport hangar of some sort. They all teleport in, but sadly Lockjaw wasn’t called up for this job. (We miss you, Lockjaw.) When the team arrives, Mortis immediately tells Auran that he didn’t want him to be there any more than Auran did, but Maximus did promise him his freedom, so.
Dani: Glowing Eyes is kinda sassy and already has like ten times more personality that everyone else, so once again I’m confused. I’m supposed to hate the guy who’s trying to abolish the caste system and save the hand-miners, right? And I’m supposed to be terrified of Sassy Scarecrow? Just checking.
Sweeney: Disagreements about the costume aside, Mortis is definitely a welcome addition. While I’m still not invested in the plot, I have a feeling we’ll see quite a bit more of him, which sounds good to me. They are setting Mortis up for a twist of some sort. Auran noted that she can’t control him and he’s clearly a reluctant participant, so I suspect he’ll switch allegiances at some pivotal moment.
Out in the jungle, Karnak is still wandering around, alone. He finally comes across some other people, who appear to be growing weed and also they have giant knives and immediately threaten Karnak’s life as soon as they arrive, so maybe running around the jungle alone wasn’t so bad.
Hawaiian Prison. The guard tells Black Bolt that the incident with the cop cars hospitalized the guard’s cop brother-in-law. Dr. Declan’s Inmate Helper calls after the guard and menacingly asks him to leave Black Bolt with him for a little “play time.”
Auran’s Murder Squad traipses through the jungle and Mortis is totally #overit, but the others are really excited about nature. One of them uses magical plant powers to make them a path, which one assumes is an ability that she has had tragically little occasion to use up on the moon.
Dani: It wasn’t much of a path, tbh. For the amount of time it took her to part the palms they probably could’ve just walked it.
Mari: I was most worried about plant damage, but I guess that isn’t high on bad guys’ priority list.
Sweeney: Title card tells us that we are at “Royal Estates, Elsewhere on the Island.” Medusa waits for a car to leave before running in the gate and waltzing right into someone’s home. She sees fruit on the table and eagerly starts eating it before continuing to make herself at home there, totally unnoticed, because whatever rich person lives there also didn’t invest in any real security system. She rummages through the closet and finds cool Earth clothes that fit her perfectly (#blessed) but then she sees herself in the mirror and gets very sad about her hair.
Mari: As contrivance-y as this is, I was at least happy to confirm that Medusa has a better notion of breaking, entering and stealing than freakin’ Black Bolt and his waltzing out of a store wearing clothes.
Sweeney: In the kitchen Medusa is filling the purse she is stealing with food (D: The real reason women’s purses are so heavy: canned chili) when she notices Black Bolt on the front page of the newspaper. Conveniently, she looks up and spots a refrigerator magnet with a number for a cab company, which apparently means something to her, which is news to me, because the show has given me zero context for how familiar or foreign anything about Earth is to her.
Jessica: This always bugs me on TV— she is stealing canned food. How you going to open that later, girl?
Dani: Seriously. Also, she stole a giant roll of cash from the closet. Maybe don’t weigh yourself down with twenty pounds of canned goods when you’re on the run? Unless she’s planning on using that purse as a weapon later, because that would be awesome.
Sweeney: Karnak’s ability is apparently still not working, because we cut back to him, tied up. Two dudes from before and now a lady are arguing about what to do. Karnak insists that he is not a threat. The lady does not like that they are now engaged in kidnapping, but one of the dudes points out that they are squatting on public land with a fuckton of weed, so they’re not exactly law abiding citizens to begin with. (J: Is it just me or does this guy look like a young Liam Neeson?) They wonder about his weird tattoos and his weird comlink. They ask who he’d be talking to on his comlink if it weren’t busted. When he answers, “my king,” and then rattles off the names of everyone in the royal family, one guy insists that Karnak is clearly crazy and they can just let him go
While they bicker about this, Karnak’s ability is apparently back? He knocks over a table, which topples the building, but then we cut back to the argument. One dude insists that they kill Karnak, so Karnak kicks the table for real, only this time, all the happens is the table falls over. Womp. I liked this bit. (M: Same! We liked a bit!) (D: It was very effective!) They decide to have this conversation outside of the greenhouse, out of his hearing.
Prison. Black Bolt is escorted to his cell, where the inmate from before is already waiting for him.
Helper Inmate starts asking Black Bolt questions. Black Bolt gestures that he won’t talk, and Anson Mount gets a little more to do as he has a subtle “idk sort of” reaction to the inmate saying that Black Bolt can’t talk. I also enjoy this moment because Helper Inmate rattles off a series of possible explanations for getting the powers – experimented on, radioactive bug, woke up covered in a funky rock-like-crust. I am sure that nobody else cares about this, BUT this is an acknowledgment that the terrigen mist process happened differently for the Inhumans of Earth, which was one of my (many) gripes with the premiere. It doesn’t make a huge difference, but I like the feeling that they are making some effort to stitch the worlds together, however small.
Dani: I bet they read our first recap and thought, ‘crap, we’d better fix that!’
Sweeney: This is what I am now choosing to believe. JUST IN CASE: I just really want those Inhumans to come on over here and be their smarter, better, more competent selves. (This is asking too much, I know.)
Anyway, Black Bolt reacts to that last one, and the inmate says he only came to warn him that people like Black Bolt have been disappearing from all over, and if he were Black Bolt, he’d get out any way he could, in order to find his family and protect them. Black Bolt pantomimes a question that’s basically, “why are you helping me?” and the inmate says that in Hawaii we help our friends. “IDK, we’re Hawaiian,” is how the show is going to have every peripheral character explain their motivations.
Mari: Like asking an ATM for money or just BELIEVING. But more stereotypical with a racist? undertone.
Sweeney: Out in the wilderness, Auran and her murder squad are tracking Gorgon. They decide to go in, except for Mortis and a girl named Locus (who was their transport, I think?) who Mortis is supposed to keep safe. Mortis snarks that keeping people safe is not his best quality, but Auran tells him to obey and he just sighs. I still kind of hate looking at Mortis’s creepy face, but he’s fun.
Auran kicks down the door to a small shed, only to find it empty, save for the comlink. She turns around and warns everyone to be alert, just as we cut to Gorgon in the shadows calling her a traitor, and his new friends firing bullets at the squad.
A battle ensues, but you guys, I only know like three of these people’s names so I really have no idea how to explain what is happening. There’s lots of shooting! And arrows! And powers! But in the midst of all of that, Gorgon and Auran are in hand-to-hand combat, and remember when Medusa failed to kill Auran for realsies? (D: Everyone but Marines remembers.) Or even, like, destroy her comlink for safety?
Mari: Kill her for real! Or for fake, and I’ll just turn off the TV again!
Sweeney: Either way!
Things aren’t looking great for Auran and her squad, until Mortis appears. Gorgon narrowly manages to avoid getting laser blasted to death. Gorgon super stomps the earth, which knocks everyone off their feet, but somehow his new band of pals are knocked on their feet in a group so he can shout at everyone to get up and get the fuck out of there. He picks up the body of a guy who died from that crew (RIP Nameless Man) and runs away with them.
Back in the pot greenhouse, the lady comes in to treat Karnak’s wound. Karnak asks if their plan involves leaving a clean corpse, but she apologizes for Reno, the guy who was super eager to solve their problem with murder. (D: Every group has that guy.) She tells him that if he really wants to walk out of there, he’s going to have to start with being less guarded about his real identity. This seems fair. She asks about his tattoos, and he somehow makes his face tattoos very #relateable as he explains that it was a stupid decision he made as a teenager, but now they are a reminder of how far he’s come and who he is now – a person who doesn’t make mistakes. Except that since he hit his head, he can no longer see the consequences of his decisions the way that he should, if at all. She assures him that it’ll be all right, but he’s not so sure and in his current state he’s of no use to his family. She says that family is family and they’ll always be there for you, but he stutters that he can’t be there for them and my heart breaks for him. OK SHOW, FINE. I AM EMOTIONALLY INVESTED IN A CHARACTER WHO ISN’T A CGI DOG. YOU WIN.
Anyway, he asks to stay with them, if it’s OK.
Mari: I was almost kind of invested and then I started thinking about him joining this mini-pot commune in the Hawaiian forest and started laughing again.
Jessica: Karnak is definitely my favorite of the non-dog characters right now, but unfortunately the show’s problems are bigger than he is.
Dani: I thought this was a nice scene, especially since Karnak was kind of an arrogant dick in the first episode. I like Pot Girl, too. Not saying I’d prefer this show to be about a secret pot commune, but okay maybe I am.
Sweeney: I wouldn’t be mad about it.
Outside the jail, Louise is sitting in her car when the Captain knocks on her window and tells her that if she’s still there when he gets back from his break, he’ll have her car towed with her in it.
Inside, Black Bolt and Helper Inmate are playing chess. The guard from before angrily tells the other guards to get Helper Inmate out of there, before telling Black Bolt it’s time to go outside for a little exercise. Black Bolt takes another move in their game before heading out as ordered.
Moon. Maximus has called The Genetic Council and asks for a new edict to be drawn up, abolishing the caste system. (D: What a bastard!) Again, an opportunity to note that he’s trying to ABOLISH SLAVERY is undercut by adding, in a pointlessly sinister tone, that he’s trying to free people for “other opportunities.”
Crystal is called in, and she asks Max where Lockjaw is (SAME, CRYSTAL), noting that everyone knows he’s always by her side, so it’ll look suspicious if she speaks without him. Max notes that the dog is heavily sedated which also won’t look great, and more importantly he’s not going to put her in the same room as a teleporting dog. Fair. He says that if she makes the speech, like they agreed, she can see Lockjaw. OK, BUT DO WE GET TO SEE LOCKJAW THEN, TOO?
Jessica: Also it seems like they are having this discussion right in front of everybody who has gathered already. The Genetic Council’s having to closely inspect their fingernails and gaze everywhere else in the room. Awkward.
Sweeney: Anyway, Crystal swallows her gross feelings and puts on her best cheerful face, telling the crowd that “Maximus is king” … “OF NO ONE.” PSYCHE. She uses her powers to freeze some guns and then runs away. Max sighs.
Jessica: Don’t you just hate it when the princess you’ve imprisoned yells at you in front of everybody?
Dani: Yeah, literally no one could have predicted that. -_-
Sweeney: We flashback to Max learning about his transformation, which apparently meant that he had a full cellular transformation to become 100% regular human. The Genetic Council man who is telling him this also adds, for emphasis, that no human can ever be king of the Inhumans.
Back in the present, Maximus recovers by saying that this is how the rest of the royal family feels about their responsibility to Attilan – they run away from it. But he is not like them and has never been like them.
We cut back and forth between him and Crystal, who goes to the place where they are keeping Lockjaw (YAY LOCKJAW! GOOD SLEEPING DOG!) and freezes the door shut behind her.
Maximus tells the crowd that his father was right, and he is destined for great things, and he will never turn his back on the people of Attilan.
Sweeney: Lockjaw finally wakes up (D: Because she electrocutes him!!) and Crystal has him take her to where he took the others. He just woke up, girl! Make that request at your own risk. JK, he does it, because he is such a good dog.
Mari: As much as I loved this brief glimpse of the Good Dog, everyone clapping at Max’s speech made me hate this whole coup all over again. Why are these people so easily bought by his murder eyes when one second ago, the Genetic Council was all “we could never do away with our caste slavery!” Everything is stupid.
Jessica: I also was astounded by the applause for that incredibly flimsy speech. Especially after Crystal just yelled and ditched out, no one found that strange? What, they were just mesmerized by his words? Or possibly his murder eyes. My eyes rolled.
Sweeney: I feel like I can only complain about how little sense this society/government so many times a recap, which is I am glad there are four of us to distribute the count accordingly.
Pot Greenhouse. The group unties Karnak and they tell him that he can stay as long as he is useful. Reno says he’ll be keeping an eye on Karnak and the other two as well.
In jail, Black Bolt is thrown out to the yard, where the guards expect fighting to break out, except the other inmates recognize Black Bolt as “that guy that beat up all the cops” and they instantly befriend him. The guard has to come out and foment the trouble he wants to see in the world, so he knocks some weights onto the ground and orders Black Bolt to pick them up. While he’s shouting at Black Bolt, another inmate chucks a ball at the guard’s head and then chaos does, indeed, break out. Black Bolt and the inmate then make their move, with Black Bolt easily knocking out guards as they make their way back into the building.
Dani: Black Bolt has to cover his mouth as he runs, so the tear gas doesn’t make him cough and obliterate his prison buddy, and it looks so weird.
Sweeney: Apparently every employee is being called out to this yard skirmish, because Black Bolt and the inmate make their way, totally unencumbered, to a rear loading dock. The inmate explains that if Black Bolt doesn’t get out now, they’ll either make him disappear in the system, or kill him. The inmate walks up to the loading door and reveals that he’s got heat powers, which he uses on the door as he explains the rock crust situation – he woke up in the black husk and then accidentally burned down his house. He could’ve killed his family, but now he’s lost them anyway, just like Black Bolt.
Black Bolt flashes back to his post-terregenesis conversation. Genetic Council Man explains that Black Bolt’s voice may well be the most powerful and dangerous gift in all of Inhuman history (so Black Bolt is older than Mortis, I suppose) (J: Most powerful? I DON’T BUY IT.) and they will never hear the voice of their eldest son again. GCM suggests keeping Black Bolt somewhere safe, where he won’t hurt anybody, and the king and queen balk at the idea of locking away their son. The king insists that Black Bolt will learn to control his gift so that he can become king someday. Cameraman zooms in on Black Bolt’s angry, distraught face before rack focusing to Maximus in the background, looking weird and murdery. (M: *sings* Maybe he’s born with it)
Back in prison, though, the inmate friend has successfully taken down the door, and a helicopter awaits them outside.
Meanwhile, Medusa’s cab is pulling up and Louise watches as Medusa fights a guard and steals his gun, breaking into the prison.
Jessica: That must have been a long ass cab ride. It was daytime when she left the plunder house!
Dani: They’re not even on the big island!
Sweeney: Dr. Declan lands his helicopter and calls for them to get in. The inmate assures Black Bolt that this is their ride and they jump in, taking off just a moment too quickly for Medusa to catch up to them.
Louise gets out of her car and runs up to Medusa, asking who was in the helicopter. Medusa thinks for a minute, notices Louise’s car, and then pulls the gun on her, insisting that they are going to follow that helicopter.
Elsewhere, Crystal and Lockjaw are landing on earth, and Lockaw immediately falls back to sleep. I feel you, dude. It’s dark and an ATV careens around the corner, RUNNING INTO LOCKJAW. The ATV flips and the rider goes flying and, more importantly, poor sweet Lockjaw whimpers and looks very, very sad.
End.
They withheld Lockjaw for so long and only brought him back to get hit, and this makes me very, very sad.
I’m not sure I have a lot to say, overall. The show is still frustratingly cobbled together. I hate everything surrounding Maximus, who is just such a frustrating waste of a talented actor. That said, I do feel like this episode was an improvement. While much of the world still feels very hand-waivey, it’s improving – just very, very slowly? Or maybe I just expect so little that I am easily impressed?
Jessica: I still feel like I’m waiting for the real show to start. It seems still focused on introductions and setup, though at least things happened. Yay, things!
Dani: They need to stop introducing new characters and just get on with the damn plot already. The surfer dudes now have a veteran backstory, ffs. FOCUS, WRITERS! But yeah, it was def better than the first two.
Sweeney: Progress, friends. Plus, I know we’re only 3 episodes in, but I definitely enjoy this more than Gotham. That’s an absurdly low bar, but it is… something.
Next time on Inhumans: in S01 E04 – Make Way for… Medusa.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
Nicole is the co-captain of Snark Squad and these days she spends most of her time editing podcasts. She spends too much time on Twitter and very occasionally vlogs and blogs. In her day job she's a producer, editor, director, and sometimes host of educational YouTube channels. She loves travel, maps, panda gifs, and semicolons. Writing biographies stresses her out; she crowd sourced this one years ago and has been using a version of it ever since. She would like to thank Twitter for their help.
I'm a chronic book nerd and love storytelling in all forms. I'm particularly excited by the rise of the television show as an art form with long, cinematically beautiful plots and complex character arcs (I also watch cartoons). My travels in the past handful of years have led me through three continents and most recently landed me among the majestic mountains of Colorado. Some day I will compile all my travel journals/blogs into one place. Some day. Until then, you can find me with craft beer in hand, ready at any moment to deeply and passionately discuss survival tactics for the zombie apocalypse.
I’m a serial procrastinator and a genuinely terrible singer, and if anyone knows how to monetize either of these skills please hit me up. In my spare time, I like to study Dutch painters, Italian architecture, and Canadian bacon.