Marines: If we’re looking for bright sides, we finished this season before it took us a year! And while we are in the thick of Eleven’s run now, we finished a thing. That’s always worth celebrating.
Obvious gif choice is obvious.
I remember loving this season when I watched it for the first time. I felt like I hit my stride with the show as a whole during series 4, and I jumped into 5 and Eleven’s run enthusiastically. I binged it, and I loved it.
Taking a closer look at this season taught me, first and foremost, and this wasn’t a season that held up well under scrutiny. The plots were flimsy (er than normal), the Doctor’s worst characteristics were dialed up, and the weird romance between Amy and the Doctor was pushed on us for no reason. More often than not, I felt frustrated by this season, especially because it often did moments very well. Looking at the season as a whole, my negative feelings are coming most from the Doctor’s behavior, some loose threads and too-quick resolutions. It makes ranking them difficult because they were all so consistent in that regard. How do you really differentiate one episode with the Doctor shouting explanations that make no sense from the other? IDK. I tried below.
The season’s stand-out for me was, of course, Rory. He was treated as the butt of the joke too often for my taste, and it’s a shame because he’s a fantastic character. He’s kind and caring, smart and loyal, and often he’s the voice of reason, even when the show would want us to believe he’s the idiot. I feel like Rory more often acted the part of the hero than the Doctor himself.
That all said, I’m afraid that as a whole, this is probably one of my least favorite seasons so far. The nonsense found here made me more angry than the season 1 nonsense, which was just kind of campy and silly.
- Vincent and the Doctor – Hands down, easy choice. It was emotional and even the ridiculous alien of the week had a deeper meaning, I felt, and one that made sense for the story for a change. It was even lovely to look at and the last 10 minutes of the episode were a CRY FEST. This is Doctor Who when its good and it made the lackluster remainder of the series stand out even more.
- The Eleventh Hour – I loved this episode and I’m glad I got to experience it again before I was impacted by my more negative feelings for the rest of the season. I don’t like the way Eleven is written as a whole, but here, for a bright and shiny moment, his goofy clumsiness and pushy affability work in the story of regeneration. It has some memorable scenes and interactions and great introductions to Amy and Rory.
- The Time of the Angels – A slow start to an episode that otherwise has things I love, like the Weeping Angels and River Song, but it ends up being better than the resolution for having less of the Douche Doctor.
- The Beast Below – Loose threads abound on the whale ship, and our further introductions to Eleven were a little heavy-handed here, but I had some genuine feels, some genuine frights, and it was before I hated everything.
- Amy’s Choice – Good performances by all involved and interesting to consider the two realities and the darker side of the Doctor. But I hate everything that has to do with Amy and the Doctor’s kiss and the fall out. Touching moments between Amy and Rory were great, though.
- Flesh and Stone – This was a difficult rank because the Doctor was awful in it, but WEEPING ANGELS. Usually second parts fare better with me than first parts, but things really started to fall apart around the Doctor’s dickish behavior.
- The Lodger – James Corden and a sweet romance at the heart are good enough.
- The Big Bang – Did any of this make any sense? No, probably not.
- The Pandorica Opens – The beginning of nonsense, from the too easy fleeing aliens and beyond.
- Cold Blood – A bit underwhelming for a two-parter, and despite some over-the-topness, there was an interesting problem and alien at the heart of it.
- The Hungry Earth – A solid supporting cast and concept, but again, as the season wore on, so did the Doctor’s condescending behavior. It became so painful to watch.
- The Vampires of Venice – What could be an okay, fun episode ends up being annoying when you pay any amount of attention to the plot. Plus, penis jokes and Rory jokes are a no for me.
- Victory of the Daleks – The Daleks just aren’t my favorite, and there was something wrong with the tone here. It was so romp-y to have both the London Blitz and what’s supposed to be one of the Doctor’s more feared enemies.
Kirsti: Look, you guys pretty much knew from the get-go that Me + Season 5 was going to be a recipe for disaster. Because I cannot STAND Steven Moffat. I cannot stand the way he writes female characters. I cannot stand the way he writes interactions between male and female characters. I cannot stand how often he relies on the idea of there being a magic button that instantly fixes everything and saves everyone. And I *especially* cannot stand any of those things when he’s the show runner and has no one fixing all of those things in his episodes. I also can’t stand Matt Smith. I mean, he seems like a lovely, genuine person. But as an actor? I can’t deal with him. Just his made-of-silly-putty face makes me nope my way out of a show. So…this was never going to end well, was it?
- Vincent and the Doctor – This is in my top ten episodes of all time, so it was obviously going to top the list here. I think it does a spectacular job of showing that mental health problems can change on a daily basis and that one good day isn’t going to fix everything. Add in some PHENOMENAL acting from Tony Curran and a delightful guest appearance from Bill Nighy and its blend of fun and feels was the perfect episode to come straight after we lost Rory.
- The Lodger – I don’t even give a fuck that the Monster of the Week was stupid. I don’t even care that it’s laden with contrivance. I just really love James Corden in this episode, and it was actually fun to watch. So.
- The Time of Angels – I said back when we recapped it that I was pretty meh about this episode. But meh is better than ugh, which is how I mostly felt towards the rest of the season. I liked Amy realising that there’s big, serious, life ending danger involved in travelling with the Doctor, and while I wanted more of Archaeologist!River and less of Bond Girl!River, she was still a fun addition to this one.
- Flesh and Stone – Did I hate Doctor Shouty Pants in this episode? Absolutely. It was ridiculous and condescending and often bordering on misogynistic. But it was surprisingly creepy, with Amy having to make her way through the Weeping Angels, unable to see. So.
- The Beast Below – Liz Ten is a delight from start to finish. Amy seeing space for the first time is wonderful. The creepy faced boxes are creepy af. But that last ten minutes? Oof. It’s like having Steven Moffat stand in front of you yelling “DO YOU SEE MY CLEVER CLEVER METAPHOR? ISN’T IT CLEVER? LOOK HOW CLEVER I AAAAAAAM!!!” over and over again. And no thank you please.
- The Eleventh Hour – The first time I watched this episode, it pretty much established for me that I was going to have a rough time with Eleven’s run. Rewatching it did nothing to change that sentiment. I’m not a fan of Eleven’s bumbling giraffe routine. I hate the scene with him trying all the foods. I enjoyed Rory’s cynicism and getting to know Amy. And the fact that Eleven spends most of the episode in Ten’s clothes is just the icing on my cake of sadness…
- Cold Blood – Goddammit, Moffat. Stop killing Rory.
- The Hungry Earth – In hindsight, this episode was a hefty dose of mediocre. But it’s not as terrible as some other episodes. So… *shrug*
- The Big Bang – This episode was basically a huge steaming turd of nonsense. Nothing is properly explained. There’s a lot of “BECAUSE I SAID SO” going on. And I hated all of that. BUT. Rory watching over the Pandorica for two thousand years? Delightful. Amy and Rory’s wedding? Fabulous. And I actually enjoyed the “something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue” being what brought the TARDIS and the Doctor back from wherever the fuck they were hanging out until Amy remembered them.
- The Pandorica Opens – The highlight of this was the return of Rory. The lowlight of this episode was the Doctor literally shouting at the sky and all the spaceships miraculously leaving. It was a giant hot mess of stupid and I hated it.
- Amy’s Choice – Rory with a mullet was awful and yet still basically the best thing about this episode.
- Victory of the Daleks – Fucking Daleks, man. They’re a staple of Doctor Who and have been for fifty years. But THEY’RE SO FUCKING BORING. And when you make really clunky links between the Daleks and the Nazi Party, it’s even worse. And then you add Spitfires in space and I want to set the whole world on fire.
- The Vampires of Venice – Look, really, this is on a par with the Dalek episode in that they’re both appalling trashfires. But there’s just something about all the penis jokes and the Rory jokes and the terrible vampire-ness of it all that makes me hate this juuuuust that little bit more. At the time, I apparently thought it was mediocre. But it’s one that stands out in my mind as A Bad Episode That I Did Not Like, so…let’s whack it down the bottom.
Dani: I think this season started out promising then took an unfortunate detour into condescension and misogyny and stupid love triangles. That said, if you’re just going to sit down and binge a bunch of episodes, it’s pretty easy to watch. With a few notable exceptions (ahem*Daleks*), the pacing is tight and keeps the viewer’s attention on the action. That’s a very good thing, because should your attention stray anywhere close to most of the plots, it will quickly trip over one of the many plotholes and breaks its poor little legs. I agree with Kirsti on Moffat’s writing: his female characters are problematic, the MC’s self-aggrandizing speeches are cringey, and too often the resolutions deploy some form of deus ex machina to wrap everything up in a tidy but wholly unbelievable bow. I lost track of the number of times we all said “just go with it” while recapping this season. It kills me, because the more I experience it here, the more I recognize the same icky problems in the writing of Sherlock, and a part of me wishes I could just stay blissfully ignorant and love that show without having to think about it? But then I also feel like we have an obligation to call out the problems (opportunities?) that exist in the shows we love so that they can do better, and so that we, as fans, can be aware of the messages and attitudes we’re absorbing. And there’s a lot to love about Doctor Who, even though Moffat tries his best to overshadow the good stuff. It makes ranking the episodes tough, but here’s what I’ve got:
- Vincent and the Doctor – So, so good. In a season marked by heavy-handed storytelling, this episode was surprisingly sensitive in its portrayal of depression and addiction. The alien actually added to the story for once, and it was nice not to be hit over the head with the metaphor of battling beasts no one else can see. It’s a heartbreakingly beautiful episode, and definitely in my Top 5 of all time. ALL THE FEELS, man.
- The Eleventh Hour – I love Ten, and I was NOT happy to see him go. I went into this episode prepared to hate everything, but I came out pleasantly surprised. Matt Smith is goofy af, but it’s probably a better choice than trying to mimic Ten’s style and failing. Young Amelia was adorable, the annoying “I’m so amazing, fear me!” speech that tells but never shows didn’t come in until the very end, and anything with Olivia Coleman in it can’t be all bad.
- The Lodger – The alien was stupid, and having the Doctor pretend to be an average bloke while people are dying was infuriating as hell, BUT … 1) James Corden was refreshing, 2) The romance with Sophie was sweet, and 3) Amy was stuck on the Tardis, so we weren’t subjected to her trying to get busy with the Doctor every ten seconds. That’s enough to put this episode near the top for me.
- The Time of Angels – That Weeping Angel on the TV monitor scared the bejeezus out of me, and having sand spill out when Amy rubs her eyes was perfectly nightmarish.
- The Beast Below – One of the best twists and resolutions to any of the episodes this season, plus Liz 10 was a total badass. If it hadn’t been for the Doctor descending into dick mode at the end, and the writers hitting us with the Anvil of Obvious, this would be even higher.
- Amy’s Choice – Kept me guessing as to which reality was the real one, and I never predicted the twist at the end. It was an interesting way to lampshade some of the Doctor’s more problematic traits, and it was good to explore (and remember) the Doctor still has a dark side, even when he’s wearing Matt Smith’s weird, goofy face. I just wish it hadn’t involved the dreaded love triangle. I think it was Mari who said she wished Amy’s indecision revolved more around choosing adventure versus settling down, rather than one guy over another. I couldn’t agree more.
- Flesh and Stone – The angels were truly terrifying, the suspense was stellar, and being with Amy while she’s trying to make her way past the angels with her eyes closed nearly gave me an asthma attack. Unfortunately, the Doctor shouting at Amy while she’s dying and at River while she’s trying to help — not to mention the extremely non-consensual kissing/sexual assault at the end — knocked this episode way down on my list.
- Cold Blood – In a surprising twist of events, the Doctor is a giant hypocrite and unbearably condescending as he shouts at a female character. Shocking, right? But on the plus side, we had compelling side characters and the thought-provoking task of having to root for saving the life of someone truly cruel and hateful in order to prevent all-out war. Also – it gave us foreigners the phrase “squeaky bum time.” WIN.
- The Hungry Earth – The make-up and effects artists did a fantastic job with the new Silurians, and Rory was even more adorable than usual. But then the Doctor gets patronizing and douchey and ruins everything.
- The Big Bang – SO. MANY. PLOT. HOLES. Nearly every episode had some WTF moments wrt plot, but this one seriously takes the cake. From paradoxes galore, to rewriting the groundrules of time travel, to a million little details that just didn’t make sense in the context of the episode, this episode made it nearly impossible to “just go with it.” Luckily, it also had Rory being noble and loyal and all-around awesome, plus some great moments with River. I *might* have even teared up a little during the Doctor’s goodbye ramble to sleeping young Amelia.
- The Pandorica Opens – Super heavy-handed storytelling makes for an eyeroll-worthy “big reveal” that the Very Terrible, Awful Weapon of Mass Destruction is actually just the Doctor. Even worse was the Doctor’s “I’m so fearsome” speech at Stonehenge. There is NO way the millions of aliens circling this idiot don’t take a shot at him. If it weren’t for the return of Rory, I would have been screaming at my TV the whole time.
- The Vampires of Venice – Rory’s adorable, Amy is heartless, and the Doctor is an arrogant prat. (Which I guess can be said about most episodes?) The angler-fish aliens that explode in sunlight also made zero sense.
- Victory of the Daleks – Maybe it was just me, but I found Churchill to be super annoying in this episode. The contrivance was also awful … prop-powered bombers that can magically fly through zero gravity and were invented in like five minutes? Puh-leeeeeze. And then there were the Daleks. Srsly, the only ones who should fear the Daleks are unnamed characters with zero lines, since they’re the only ones who ever die. The Doctor and his companions never seem to be in any real danger from them. They’re plunger-wielding garbage bins on wheels, ffs. I guess hitting us over the head with Nazi symbolism was supposed to make them scarier, but then maybe don’t have the Doctor confuse them with a bloody cookie for a few hours? So dumb, and so deserving of the bottom slot.
Let us know your series 5 thoughts and ranks in the comments!
Catch you all soon for the start of series 6.