Previously: Tessa found Hardin and the bonfire died. RIP.
—
Marines: Karen and Ken are worried when Hardin walks into the house and they see his busted eye. He insists that he’s fine, so Ken immediately turns to Tessa and asks her what happened. Tessa says that Hardin got into a fight, but she doesn’t know where or with whom. Hardin is like, “…I’m right here” and yells that he’s “fucking fine.” Tessa scolds him for speaking to his father that way, so he grabs her and pulls her out of the room and all the way upstairs. Ken and Karen just stay behind and wonder why Hardin is coming around so often instead of HELPING THE YOUNG WOMAN BEING PHYSICALLY REMOVED FROM THE ROOM AGAINST HER WILL.
Hardin PULLS HER all the way upstairs and as soon as they are upstairs, he pins her to the wall by her wrists. If someone pulled you into a room and pinned you to a wall without consent and removed from a sexual context? Like what’s next, murder? Because I’m scared for my life.
Samantha: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
“Worry about your own relationship with you own father before trying to meddle with mine.”
Tessa’s meddling is very weird, but it would be a better point if he didn’t just physically harass her and wasn’t a jerk about it. But of course, he gets to say these awful things and still be the main love interest because “as soon as the words come out of his mouth… he immediately looks apologetic.”
Hardin apologizes because it “just came out,” but Tessa steps away from his outstretched arms. Tessa points out that he seems to do that a lot. She thinks about how bringing up her father was a touch too far. (S: …..but was it? Comparatively?) Hardin starts to say something, but Tessa stops him and launches into time #476 in which she wonders what she’s doing here and why she keeps thinking that he will stop being mean. “Because I am an idiot, that’s why.”
Part of the toxic, awful part of abusive relationships is the way they make the victim turn on themselves. It’s the blame the victim absorbs. Tessa, clean off being pinned up against the wall and insulted, is calling herself the idiot in this situation. I mean, we can argue about her decision to look for Hardin, but it’s the ole bait and switch of these emotional treats, slipped in I love you’s and everything else that keeps victims emotionally hooked. Man, this is just so awful. (S: I’m for real nauseous.)
Tessa yells at Hardin, saying that this is what he always does. He’s probably been waiting for an opening to bring up her father since they met. Hardin says that she’s to blame too because she provokes him (*screams*) and “pushes his buttons” (*screeches*) and goes on dates with other people (*wails*).
Samantha: STOP STOP STOP.
Tessa tells us about all the survivalist reactions she’s having like RUN! and FLEE!, but instead of listening to any of that, she stands her ground and yells that she keeps coming around because she loves him. Hardin is shocked! SHOCKED! Tessa tells him to go on and say how much he hates her again and keep insulting her. She cries a little and then announces that she’ll be going now. Hardin stomps over to her and tells her not to go, “his face full of emotion.” What emotion? IDK and neither does Tessa. Just emotion.
Hardin lifts up Tessa’s face and asks why she loves him. (S: LEGIT question.) She looks into his eyes and sees that he’s ~*afraid*~ and she’s like awww. Tessa asks how she could not love him. I think it’s pretty simple and I hate to keep going back to the chair throwing in the yogurt establishment, but it made an impact, you know?
Hardin reminds Tessa that she told him she didn’t love him and she went out with Zed and she always leaves him, like when he was begging for another chance. Instead of getting a detailed list of all the things he’s done to her, Tessa just gently reminds him that he’s also done a lot of things to hurt her. He says he’s sorry and asks for a chance to make it up to her. Oh, he’s not promising to reign in his anger or stop fighting with her, but just to give himself to her completely, like he’s a damn prize and she should just feel lucky to have him. Tessa says that it feels like too much damage has already been done. Instead of talking about the path to healing (or whatever) Hardin just tells her she’s the person he loves most in the world. Because of all that damage Tessa just referenced, she still thinks this might be some part of his sick game, but Hardin says no more games. He just wants to be in a real relationship and then they laugh over him having no idea what that means.
Samantha: Teehehehe isn’t our fucked up love story so cute?
Mari: They kiss and as she descries his electric bloody kiss (honestly…) she thinks about how much she loves this “damaged, self-loathing asshole.” We break the kiss just for a second so Tessa can ask who Hardin got into a fight with. Hardin asks if he can answer her later, but Tessa wants to know now. He makes her promise to stay with him in order to hear the answer.
And the chapter ends, perhaps teasing that the reveal of who he got into a fight with is such a big deal, the author decided to split the scene here!
Spoiler alert: it is not a big deal.
Samantha: Well, gee, now the whole fake anticipation is ruined.
Next time on After: Not a big deal in Chapter 68.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
I'm a 28 year old graduated English major and almost librarian. I can often be found singing too loudly (poorly) in the car or spending some time (hours) on Tumblr. I am a lover of Harry Potter, the Spice Girls, and too many other things.