Previously: Pain. Pain for everyone.
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Marines: An hour later, Tessa still doesn’t want to get out of bed, but Hardin has to pee. Tessa stands, and cringes over her bloody sheets. Hardin offers to toss them, but she wants him to take them outside to a dumpster. (S: Seems…dramatic?) Apparently she’s afraid Steph might see them in their trash. Hardin isn’t leaving for the night, but Tessa tells him to go take them out on his way to pee. Hardin quips about how he’ll look carrying around bloody sheets before leaving. How much blood is on these sheets that you can’t just… roll them and not be a creeper?
Alone, Tessa wonders if she looks how she feels: “warm and oddly at peace.” Tessa thinks she knows why people make such a big deal about sex because that was super cool. But ONLY because she loves Hardin. It wouldn’t have been so amazing had she not loved Hardin. Mind you, we got no indication that she enjoyed that at all, but it’s okay because l o v e.
Samantha: All those sluts who like sex just for sex can pack it up to Bible School.
Mari: It was painful and she was tense the entire time, but at least she got to enjoy it because of love.
Tessa looks at herself in the mirror and her mouth falls open because she looks SO different. Anna Todd is really hitting all the “losing your virginity” tropes here huh? Going for the full “she even looks different” bullshit, are we?
Samantha:
Mari: It’s “the slightest of changes,” something she can’t quite put her finger on. She likes it, though, and she also likes the red marks Hardin left on her breasts. Hardin walks in while she’s still looking in the mirror. He asks if she’s admiring herself, as he would stare at himself all day if he had her body. Tessa changes the subject by announcing that she is going to shower. She doesn’t want to wash his scent off (…) but she does need to wash everything else. Hardin needs a shower too, though he knows they can’t go together. If they lived together, though, they would be able to. Tessa doesn’t listen to his pushy words, but instead marvels at the way teh sex has also changed him.
Samantha: Oh god, him pushing them to live together is just going to continue to be a completely baffling thing, huh?
Mari: Hardin asks again if they can move in together. (S: Wow, yep.) Tessa reminds him that he just asked yesterday. She can only make one life-altering decision at a time. Hardin wants to go sign the paperwork now because he has to get out of the frat house. Tessa suggests getting his own damn apartment, but he wants the apartment to be theirs because he wants to spend as much time with Tessa as possible. Except for when he’s storming away and spending time with Molly. And except when he’s doing his job she can’t ask about. You know, that other time in between.
Hardin asks if it’s about the money. He would pay for everything. So he wants to pay for this apartment completely, but he wants it to be theirs? Basically, he could just get this apartment, but he’s being manipulative in order to force Tessa’s hand? Cool.
Tessa scoffs because she wants to contribute. Hardin asks what her reservation is, then. Tessa reminds him that they haven’t known each other that long and she always thought she wouldn’t live with someone until she was married. She thinks abut, but doesn’t mention, that she’s both worried about her mother and scared that she’ll become reliant on Hardin like her mother was on her father before he left. Hardin laughs at her antiquated ideas, which leads Tessa to ask him what his problem with marriage is. Hardin says it’s not for him, Tessa doesn’t want to be talking about this because it’s years too soon, but she does want to be married by 25 and then have 2 children. She has her whole future planed.
“Had, my subconscious reminds me. I had everything planned until I met Hardin and now my future is constantly changing and shifting.”
That’s usually what futures do, Tessa. I’m sorry you had to find out in the actual worst way possible aka meeting Hardin.
Samantha: Sincerely, you’re 18, girl. I’m 27 and my life is nothing like how I had it all planned at 18, and mostly thank goodness for that. But, damn, Hardin truly is the dumpster fire of life change catalysts.
Mari: Hardin can tell that his views on marriage bother Tess, but she denies it. She says she just figured everyone wanted to get married. Hardin counters with the fictional example of fictional Catherine in the much abused Wuthering Heights. Tessa swoons over the fact that they can talk about the same books, even though they only talk about the same 2-3 books. He brings up Jane Eyre next, and then admits he’s providing bad marriage examples in order to listen to Tessan ramble about “literary heroes.” Hardin asks if Tessa wants to marry him then, and Tessa is like no? what? Idk? what are we talking about? Hardin has a few laughs at her expense. (S: I fucking hate him so damn much wow.)
Tessa wants to change the subject, so of course, Hardin is like “about that apartment…” That’s not actually changing the subject, dick.
He gives her until tomorrow to decide if they are going to move in together because he won’t wait around forever. Forever in this case being two whole days. His ultimatum given, he tells Tessa they should go shower because her being naked is tempting him. She grabs her toiletry bag and asks, “are you coming or what?” Mostly so Todd can give us this zinger of a line: I would love to come, but I guess a shower will have to do for now.”
Hilarious.
Next time on After: Tessa keeps fixing Hardin with her love in Chapter 80.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
I'm a 28 year old graduated English major and almost librarian. I can often be found singing too loudly (poorly) in the car or spending some time (hours) on Tumblr. I am a lover of Harry Potter, the Spice Girls, and too many other things.