Previously: Hardin leaves after a text from Jace, and Tessa is gonna get to the bottom of this.
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Marines: I remember taking lots of celebratory drinks while nearing the end of a Fifty Shades book. Here, in the penultimate chapter, I can not fathom celebrating– only sitting solemnly in the dark and thinking about all of the choices that led me here.
Samantha: I don’t even have it in me for a Destiny’s Child Dance Party, only contemplating the chaotic randomness of the universe.
Mari: Cheers to meaningless chaos, I guess.
As she walks into the bar, Tessa questions the soundness of this idea. “Hardin is going to be furious with me, and Steph may just think I’m insane.” Hardin will be furious. Steph knows what’s up, trust me. The only crazy thing is that it’s taken us 96 chapters to get here.
Steph spots Tessa and gives her a big smile and hug. Tessa decides to just kind of lie and say she’s here because she missed Steph. Nate teasingly asks where Hardin has been hiding her, but that won’t be a joke anymore when Tessa is bones hidden in a wall, mark my words. Tristan and Steph are cuddly, so Tessa figures that they got over their fight over Molly. She doesn’t know anything for sure, though, because her abuser boyfriend keeps her separated from basically all other humans.
Samantha:
Mari: Steph invites her to come sit with them “just for now.” Tessa wonders if that means that Hardin will be there soon. Are they gonna kick her out of the booth when Hardin gets there? Rude. (S: And weird.)
I honestly thought this was all happening in the middle of the night since they fell asleep watching Pretty Little Liars. Apparently it’s 3:00 in the afternoon. Tessa hasn’t eaten all day, so she orders some food. Better eat it quick before these people kick you out and treat you like a plague because your boyfriend will beat their faces for talking to you.
In a further 11th hour display of this abusive relationship, Nate makes small talk about the great party Tessa missed last night. Tessa doesn’t know what she can say in reply, because she isn’t allowed to talk to people about anything? In any normal situation, she would reply with polite talk about what she did with her night: attend a wedding! But nooooo, Hardin is so secretive he doesn’t want people to know he… has a family? Attends weddings? Eats cake?
Samantha: He has a murder reputation to uphold! Cake lessens his murder cred. “Oh that guy eats cake? I am now less afraid of him stabbing me with a serving knife.”
Mari: Nate keeps on and says they partied at the docks, which is great for getting wild and not cleaning up after themselves. Fuck you, litterers.
Tessa tries to causally inquire whether or not Jace lives at the docks, and Nate is like “no man, docks are where boats live.” But Jace works there in the day and lives nearby.
There is more chatting and good-natured joking until Steph asks Tessa how her new dorm is. Tessa is confused. Turns out, when Hardin let himself into her room to put all her earthly possessions into garbage bags without permission, he told Steph that Tessa was moving into a new dorm room because her mom flipped out. “But Mari,” you say. “That doesn’t even make sense.” I know, dear child. And Steph should’ve called the police on his breaking and entering ass. Tessa gets angry enough to tell the truth, damn the consequences.
Steph is SHOCKED to hear that Tess and Hardin moved into an apartment together. Tessa gets snappy with her for being so surprised, but honey, child, please listen. This was sudden. You’ve known Hardin for weeks and by “know” I really mean you know nothing about him and he just learned your birthday today. Steph explains that she’s shocked because 1- she can’t imagine Hardin living with another human, 2- she wasn’t aware that things were that serious and 3- she really wished Tessa would’ve told her only thing like a friend about moving in with her boyfriend.
Tessa is about to ask for more details, but everyone looks worriedly at the door. Here come Molly, Jace and Hardin. Tessa is freaking out because because Hardin is with Molly, which pisses her off, Hardin is with Jace, which confuses her, and she just told everyone she was living with her boyfriend.
Hardin calls Tessa’s name out angrily. Tessa looks up at him and his face “is twisted in anger.” That sounds like a mighty big problem.
Samantha: I think there’s video somewhere deep in my Google Drive of me attempting to twist my face in anger for you, Mari. And naturally, it’s Fifty Shades related.
Mari: That video is classic.
Hardin tells her they need to talk right, right now. She follows him to a quiet corner of the bar, and there he demands to know what she’s doing there, outside, around people, eating and, idk, existing I guess. Tessa says she came to hang out with Steph and he calls bullshit on that. He tells her to go home, and she wonders if he means that totally made up new dorm he lied to Steph about. Tess thought they were past him trying to keep her a secret. He apologizes, saying he wasn’t trying to keep it a secret. He was just “waiting.” That’s a cool one. “I wasn’t keep it a secret, I was just quietly waiting with the truth.” Tessa believes him, or at least agrees to go discuss this at home, because he looks panicked.
“Hardin’s thoughts seem jumbled. I can almost see the internal battle being waged behind his green eyes. His eyes frantically scans the room, and his panic worries me.”
Boo-freakin’-hoo.
Samantha: Lol, his panic SHOULD worry you. Why the fuck is he frantic in what should be a chill hang out with his friends? He’s acting like assassins are about to jump out of the walls so, yes, BE WORRIED BUT FOR YOURSELF.
Mari: For some reason, a very panicked Hardin decides the best course of action would be to go announce to everyone that they are leaving. Steph pointedly asks if they are going back to their apartment. Molly cackles, surprised to hear that Tessa and Hardin are living together. Hardin starts panicking again as Molly says that he is certainly taking this “thing” a little far. Hardin starts to threaten Molly, telling her to shut the fuck up. Tessa heard it, though, and asks what “thing.” What is he taking too far? Hardin “commands” Tessa to go outside. Like bro, fuck you.
Tessa stays put and yells for someone to tell her what is going on. Molly laughs and accuses Tess of being “in on it” all along. Nate, Tristan and Steph are studiously avoiding looking at Tessa. Hardin keeps trying to grab Tessa and pull her away. Tessa stands directly in front of Molly and asks again what is going on. Molly thinks she’s playing dumb, right up until Hardin is rendered speechless, and Tessa almost starts crying. Steph tries to call Molly off, but nope. Molly is enjoying this and to really bring the evil lady vibe home, she is also “sliding her tongue ring between her teeth, making the most horrendous rattling, worse than nails on a chalkboard.”
Samantha: What is that description??? Why is a tongue ring that loud?????
Mari: It’s made of evil.
Did anyone read that last sentence and think, “wow, that would be an amazing place for a chapter break”? No? No one? Right because all of us are better writers than Anna Todd, guaranteed.
Next time on After: The truth is out in Chapter 97.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
I'm a 28 year old graduated English major and almost librarian. I can often be found singing too loudly (poorly) in the car or spending some time (hours) on Tumblr. I am a lover of Harry Potter, the Spice Girls, and too many other things.