Charmed (Reboot) S01 E05 – Better with wine.

Previously: The girls extracted a demon from an Angela.

Other Women

Marines: Macy is listening to classical music as she takes a bath and does a sheet mask. It’s making me want to go moisturize, too. (R: I’ve never to be a witch so badly. Or take a late night bath. What a genius idea.) She opens her eyes and sees a shadow on the other side of the bath curtain. She flings her hands up, telekinesising whoever away, and yells.

All the yelling brings Maggie over, and she’s armed with a yoga mat. She squeals when she realizes there’s a man in a curtain in their hallway and then again when she sees Macy in her sheet mask.

It’s Harry, in the curtain. (R: Shocking.) He says that Macy did not need to telekinesis him that hard, damn. Macy defends herself since it’s 1am, she’s very naked, and he keeps warning them about demons coming at them fast and furious. Harry is staying with the 3M’s because the Elders confiscated the Book of Shadows after last episode to see if their mother hid any other spells in there. He’s a substitute Book of Shadows and will also need to occasionally bathe while he’s with them. Macy suggest he learn a closed bathroom door means, then. Maggie wants to charge him rent. I agree with both of them.

Rebecca: Who just barges into a bathroom in someone else’s house? She should’ve telekinesised him down the stairs.

Mari: Their chit chat turns to Maggie still feeling guilty about kissing Bland Parker last episode. She’s having coffee with Lucy, but has decided to definitely not mention the kiss since it will ruin everything. Mel finally joins them, asking them to keep it down. She was was up late with Niko the previous night. Harry starts to excuse the Elders for setting Trip up as a serial killer, but unsurprisingly, Mel is not in the mood. (R: Mel starting on my good side this episode let’s see how long that lasts.) She’s got to be up early in the morning to go with Niko to visit the grave of a man whose death they are responsible for. Now, I’m not trying to out myself as a not a great person, but “responsible for” is kind of strong there. Trip was doing all that skulking on his own. No one invited him into the demon infested gym, is all I’m saying. The serial killer thing is messed up, though.

Rebecca: Yeah, they definitely didn’t do anything wrong there. Not looking forward to how Niko investigating things will ruin their relationship later. 

Mari: Grave. Niko can’t believe Trip is a killer. Now, the FBI wants to question Niko. Mel comforts her with an invite for dinner that night. They leave, and a Nondescript Charmed Man appears, carrying flowers. He smirks at the girls as they leave, chucks the flowers, turns into smoke, and takes a dive into Trip’s grave.

Rebecca: The bad smoke CGI killed me. It came from HIS EYEBALLS. Hilarious.

Mari: Macy is in her lab, and it appears that she is preparing to give a talk. The suspicious dude from the end of the last episode, played by Craig Parker, approaches Macy and introduces himself as Alastair Caine. (R: Bad guys just love this name.) She knows who he is, the CEO of Morningstar Biotech. Alistair is here to hear Macy talk because of her impressive research on genetics stuff. (Don’t look at me that way, specifics don’t matter.) One of Macy’s labmates comes over to geek out over Alastair and unhelpfully tell her not to screw this up. Macy asks him where Galvin is, since he hasn’t been responding to texts, and Worst Labmate says that Galvin met this girl named Summer and is under her sex-spell.

Just then, Galvin walks in with said Summer, who is very pretty, but also Madeleine Mantock is gorgeous, so okay. Macy watches as Galvin and Summer kiss, and her emotions get the better of her telekinesis, causing the frame near their heads to fall. Once Summer leaves, Galvin limps over, and he’s all squinty eyed and not looking great. Macy wonders if he’s okay, and he unconvincingly says he’s never been better.

Rebecca: Theory! There’s an actual sex-spell going on. Of course. Also, we must throw in as many reasons as possible for these two beautiful women to hate each other.

Mari: An FBI agent is wrapping things up with Niko, telling her that if she thinks of anything else, or remembers where Trip’s missing case files are, to please call. When Niko walks away, the agent turns around and we see it’s the Nondescript Smoke Demon.

Mel is waiting for Niko. Niko explains that she’s been placed on leave, which is fairly standard after something like this, but also, she’s questioning her ability to be a good cop.

Rebecca: Honestly sad. Niko is such a sweetheart.

Mari: We cut from this very serious business to Lucy telling Maggie that Parker dumped her. He fed her the old “it’s not you” line, which Lucy is like “duh, it’s not me.” (R: She’s perfect.) She assumes that Parker is cheating, and she’s on a mission to prove it. And by that, she means that she’s entrusting Maggie to do a social media deep dive to figure out who Parker cheated with and prove to the whole school that he’s trash. Maggie fake smiles and says yes. They hug, and she of course hears Lucy’s “thank God I can trust Maggie” thoughts.

Rebecca: I get being curious, but I always hate plot lines like this. My partner cheats on me, I don’t care who it’s with. I’m gonna blame him and him alone.

Mari: Agreed. They are setting up Lucy finding it’s Maggie for total dramz, but the undercurrent of “find the bitch” is thumbs down.

Back at the MMManor, Niko is picking at her food. She puts her spoon down and says there’s something she hasn’t said about Trip. Right before he died, Trip left Niko a voicemail saying he found a connection between Marisol’s death and two other deaths in New Orleans and Santa Fe. Trip pulled the case files and now no one can find them. Niko thinks maybe Trip was onto something huge and it got him killed and framed for murder. Mel pretends like this is absurd, and asks Niko to let it go and leave it alone. Niko thought this was what Mel wanted, to know what happened to her mother, but Mel says not at the cost of putting Niko in danger. (R: precious babies.)

Nondescript Shadow Demon is on a call, telling someone that he’s searched Trip’s desk and home. The missing DNA vials are still missing. He did defile Trip’s grave, though, which means he can now shapeshift into Trip. We see that Nondescript Shadow Demon is talking to Alistair, who tells him to stop playing shifter games and stick to the plan. Also, his name is Hunter. My name was better, but whatever.

Rebecca: Don’t ruin that name I’ve been thinking about naming my future child Hunter.

Mari: I’m sure you still can, but maybe your kid will randomly turn into smoke.

Hunter thinks the key to finding the DNA is Niko. Alistair tells him to stay on Niko and not leave any loose ends.

Rebecca: Anyone who hurts Niko is getting a one-way ticket to Murderedville.

Mari: Morning. Lucy texts Maggie to see how the investigation is going. Maggie lies that she’s found nothing yet, but she’s on the case. Macy is in the breakfast nook and startles when Maggie walks in. Maggie immediately recognizes the look of a guilty social media stalker, and uses her powers to read Macy’s thoughts and quickly catch up on the Galvin drama. Since Maggie’s social media deep dive skills can’t be used on Lucy’s case, seeing as she’s the harlot who came between her and Parker, Maggie offers to help Macy instead.

Niko is at a coffee shop, talking to Mel on the phone. Mel apologizes for how awkward things got last night. Niko thinks it’s nice that she’s worried about her safety. They talk about maybe getting away that weekend, somewhere quiet, maybe doing some fishing. This triggers a memory for Niko: Trip had a fishing cabin he took her to once. The FBI wouldn’t know to search there for this missing files. Niko heads off and we see that Hunter is following her.

Rebecca: I’m not sure where this wave of protection for Niko is coming from. Could be the way TV often treats queer women. Could be all the wine I just drank. We’ll never know, but I hope Hunter drives off a cliff.

Mari: Probably both. But also, all these girls are charming? I am invested in all of their safety and wellbeing.

MMManor. Maggie has bad news: Summer is, like, perfect. Ivy League educated sportscaster whose podcast just got picked up my NPR with flawless skin and nice nails. It’s like she’s not a real person. But then Maggie gets serious: what if she’s not a real person? What if she’s a demon? Macy says she will not participate in the demonization of another woman, and Maggie is like, “no, not like that, because I mean a demon, demon.” This is all very charming.

Maggie is like a dog with a bone, especially since Harry has been warning them that evil will be coming for them from all angles. Maggie looks up and yells for Harry. A second later, Harry comes running in with an iron in his hand, dressed in a button-up and boxers. I actually forgot he was living at the MMManor and giggled when this happened. (R: was honestly adorable) They move on from the weirdness when Maggie asks if there is such a thing as a “mega-smart thirst-trap she demon.” She repeats the whole hot girl, super successful, Galvin is acting weird thing. Harry says that despite Maggie’s “problematic language,” this woman could indeed be a succubus. Maggie thinks that’s British for “thirst-trap she demon,” but Harry explains that succubi are female demons who drain life forces through “sexual congress.” Hallmarks of a succubus are tail and wings, which they can hide through magic, but usually flaunt through strange markings, tattoos or birthmarks. Plus, she will have marked Galvin, too. Harry suggests investigating further. Macy says they can do that at the work event they are having to celebrate new funding. Harry grabs his iron again, offers to grab a succubus vanquishing spell from the Elders, and will text it to both of them.

Rebecca: I now no longer think there is a sex spell, but I love them all. Again, could be all the wine talking. But look at all these beautiful weirdos. Also, this room is stunning. Wallpaper is underrated.

Mari: Niko makes it to the fishing cabin, and it’s all dark and murder-y. She grabs the vials of DNA and takes pictures of Trip’s theory board. Niko hears something behind her; it’s Hunter wearing Trip’s skin. He tells her there is no time to explain, and asks her for the DNA. She hands it over, and Hunter promptly super-back hands her and drops some demon fire in a bottle, setting the cabin on fire.

Rebecca: NIKO NOOOO. I might cry.

Mari: Mel has tracked Niko down and yells when she sees the cabin on fire. (R: Can I just say, she literally yells “NIKO NOO”, so we’re on the same page.) She runs in and tries to freeze the fire, but it won’t freeze. She has to scoot in the old fashioned way, shake Niko awake, and help her out. Nearby, Hunter drops his Trip skin, and gloats that he knew it would come in handy.

Rebecca: Side note, but I hate how fire is portrayed in shows and stuff. Like she’s literally just walking through it. It would be so hot they would both die in there. GOD. This witch show is SO UNREALISTIC!

Mari: It’s like they don’t even care.

Party. Macy and Maggie arrive and almost immediately spot Summer and Galvin. Summer is very sweet and greets them warmly, but things are awkward because Macy barely says a thing. Summer offers to go get them all drinks, and Maggie follows close behind, leaving Macy and Galvin to talk. Galvin says that he should explain, but Macy cuts him off, asking if he means about hooking up with someone a few days after they were kissing. Galvin reminds her that it was actually after a few times she totally blew him off. He read the signs and moved on. (R: Fair.) He asks if he read the signs right. Macy doesn’t say anything and soon Summer and Maggie rejoin them. They awkwardly part ways. Macy is more convinced that Galvin isn’t acting like himself.

Rebecca: I think he’s acting fine, and Summer seems delightful.

Mari: Get it together, Macy.

Niko is in the hospital. Mel and Harry are watching over her. Mel explains about the weird demon fire. Harry quickly identifies it as hellfire, frequently used by demonic assassins. Mel also tells him about Niko saying she saw Trip. Harry is worried. He thinks they must be dealing with a shapeshifter, and they are known for getting what they want– in this case, killing Niko and destroying whatever was in the cabin. Mel says at least they failed on both counts; Niko is alive and took pictures of everything in the cabin. Harry advises her to forward the pictures to herself, delete them off Niko’s phone, and hope she doesn’t remember any of that.

Harry abruptly changes the subject and gives an obvious LOOK so Mel understands Niko is awake now. Harry excuses herself and Niko asks what they were talking about. Mel tells her not to worry about it.

Rebecca: Yes. Please, Niko. I’m just realizing my cat is named Niko and maybe that’s why I’m so protective of her.

Mari: I’ll give everyone a few minutes to hug their cat.

Party. Maggie runs into Plain Parker and asks why he broke with Lucy. He gives a perfectly reasonable answer about how it wouldn’t be fair to keep dating Lucy if he caught feelings for another girl. Maggie says she could never date him because of Lucy, and Plain Parker says that’s part of the reason he likes her so much. He leaves.

Rebecca: Okay goddamn this actually almost makes me like him a little. I still need more personality though. 

Mari: Agreed.

Worst Labmate is congratulating Macy on her awesome talk, but she’s distracted when she spots Summer sexily leading Galvin somewhere. She excuses herself and follows them. Summer has pulled Galvin into a pool room, and they are making out. She lifts Galvin’s shirt a little, and he’s got a glowing mark on his waist. (R: Okay, fine maybe I was wrong FINE.) Macy’s emotions get out of control again, and she causes a beer bottle to explode. She hurries away, finds Maggie, and tells her about the mark she saw on Galvin. They need to save him. Suddenly, Maggie thinks this might be Macy’s hurt feelings and not actually a demonic thing. She didn’t expect Summer to be so nice. Coincidentally, Summer and Galvin are out in the bar again now, and as they kiss some more, Macy spots Summer’s “tramp stamp”: a pair of wings. It’s all like Harry said it would be.

Hospital. Niko is sleeping again. A nurse walks in to give Niko an injection, but it’s a really suspicious looking, Jell-O green injection. (R: Jell-O Shottt!) (M: Amazing.) Mel thankfully spots the real nurse in the hallway. She freezes time, but Hunter fights it. He grabs Mel by the throat and throws her into the wall. She keeps trying to freeze him, buying enough time for Harry to appear. He grabs Hunter and holds him. Mel unfreezes everything around them so that the injection that was in midflight (?) heads toward Harry. He catches it and injects Hunter in the throat. He struggles for a bit before turning to smoke and escaping via a vent.

Rebecca: Is it me or is Mel just great in this episode? I have yet to face palm because of her, and we’re more than halfway through.

Mari: MMManor. They’ve moved Niko here to try and keep her safe, but Harry again mentions how relentless shifters can be. Mel is feeling really guilty because Niko moved to Hilltowne for her, and now all this extra demonic activity has put her in danger. Mel gets an idea: a spell to make it as if she never met Niko. Harry’s non-answer confirms to Mel that there is one, but he reminds her that they don’t even have the book. Mel asks him to get the spell from the Elders. They owe her, for the whole framing Trip for murder thing.

Rebecca: STOP IT, MEL. YOU ARE TOO PRECIOUS AND STUPID RN.

Mari: Maggie and Macy knock on Summer’s apartment door. I was kind of thinking that maybe Summer was a succubus and that would be interesting, but the wave of preemptive secondhand embarrassment I just got has now convinced me that Summer is not a succubus. Honestly, I paused this episode here and came back the next day. I have a snack now so maybe I’m ready.

Rebecca: Hahahahahaha, Mari. You are lovely. I’ve watched The Office too much for this to even be on the secondhand embarrassment radar.

Mari: I’m sensitive.

Macy rushes into the apartment and reads her succubus vanquishing spell off her phone. Nothing happens. Macy is like oh no, like she should be. Summer graciously excuses her behavior, saying she’s done crazy things when she was drunk and jealous. (R: She’s honestly so sweet.) She tries to get them out before Galvin notices, but just then, he comes out in a towel. Macy sees the glowing mark on him again, and so do we the audience, but no one else sees it. Not even Maggie. Summer covers for Macy some more and says she just came back to return the wallet she left at the bar. Macy apologies for disturbing them.

As they leave, Maggie apologizes for putting all those demon thoughts in Macy’s head. Macy says it’s kind of her fault, too. It was easier to believe in a demon than in the fact that Galvin moved on so quickly. Maggie has a big realization, too. Lucy is demonizing Parker, but the truth is that Maggie wanted to kiss Parker on some level. She thinks she should come clean to Lucy. Just then, they get a text from Mel, who has been dealing with life and death shit alone this whole time.

Rebecca: Wow, I didn’t even notice how trivial Maggie and Macy’s problems have been the whole time compared to poor Mel and Niko.

Mari: Maggie and Macy get to the MMManor. Mel called them because the Elders gave the Book of Shadows back. She explains about the history rewriting spell. Harry impresses upon them the serious nature of this spell. It will have ripple effects none of them can foresee. He knows firsthand. He doesn’t remember a thing about his human life because he had to give over all his memories in order to live as a Whitelighter. Maggie asks if he could ever get his memories back, but he says no. Not any way that he knows.

Harry explains that once the spell is done, every text, keepsake or picture of Niko will be gone, including the evidence pictures from Mel’s phone. The only thing that will remain are their memories of Niko. Despite all this, Mel is sure. It’s either this or lose Niko.

Rebecca: I’m going to sob stop it.

Mari: In the attic, the girls prepare a very elaborate emblem for the spell. Harry tells Mel that she’s done her part. She should go say goodbye to Niko while her sisters finish the spell.

Niko is getting ready to go. She’s heading back to the cabin with her captain to see if anything is salvageable. Mal freezes her before she leaves. Mel says goodbye to Niko while she’s frozen, which seems like the worse way to do this. Macy and Maggie recite the spell and all around Niko and Mel, their memories are floating.

Mel says her goodbye, but before she can kiss Niko, the spell is done. Niko disappears. Mel cries, and her sisters come down to comfort her.

Rebecca: I’m such a sucker for this shit. This show gets me and all my cheesy tropes. If Niko doesn’t come back in some way later, we riot.

Mari: No riding at dawn, though, because sleep.

Breakfast. Mel is looking up Niko’s profile. She looks happy. Macy wonders if being witches means sacrificing love. Mel is unconvinced. Although this is hard, she at least has her memories of Niko.

Harry is cooking for them. Maggie tells him that she’s been thinking. He can’t remember his own family, but maybe they can be his new one. He looks touched (it is v sweet), but then just ends up calling her such an American millennial. And then serves them a full English breakfast.

Rebecca: omg I didn’t even like Harry, but my heart is singing. Also, this breakfast looks amazing. It could be because I’m a bit drunk.

Mari: This episode made me realize that I even like Harry. Damn.

Mel stops herself from obsessing over Niko’s social media and instead talks about the evidence Niko found. The main thing was these strange branching patterns on all three bodies. She’ll know it when she sees it again. Harry tells her to focus on that. He tells Macy that while Summer may not be a succubus, they can’t ignore the mark Galvin had. There is a way to extract a copy, but Macy will need to get very close (R: very close) to him. Maggie excuses herself because she has to go meet Lucy for coffee.

Lucy for Coffee. Lucy is very upset and “an ugly crier.” (R: She’s not.) Maggie comes clean, and Lucy promptly kicks her out of Kappa.

Rebecca: I hope they both realize at some point that Bland Parker is not worth all this shit.

Mari: Honestly.

School. Harry and Mel are still talking about Niko, but when they get to her class, someone else is teaching it. Mel realizes that the day of her interview, Niko woke her up. Without Niko, she missed the interview and never got the job. Whoops.

Macy visits Galvin and apologizes for being weird. She asks if they are cool, and he says yes. Then she pulls him in for an awkward hug, and grabs a copy of his magic mark.

Rebecca: Lucky he was wearing a shirt with a giant hole right at his hip.

Mari: Lucky.

Bad Guy HQ. Hunter swears to Alistair that was on track, but then something happened. A temporal shift. Alistair admits that he did feel something, which means the Charmed Ones are getting stronger. Hunter asks his dad (!) what this means. Alistair says he was previously happy to steal some powerful witch DNA, but maybe they can go after the Charmed Ones instead. He pulls up a picture of Macy on his computer, saying he knows just where to start. I already can’t wait until they vanquish his ass.

Rebecca: Either this show is getting better or me drinking wine for the first time while watching is making it more entertaining. Either way, lovin’ this shit.

 

Next time on Charmed: Maggie needs help investigating a Kappa in S01 E06 – Kappa Spirit.

 

Marines (all posts)

I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.





Rebecca (all posts)

I am a book, movie, and TV fanatic over the age of 30. I love baking, video games, and D&D. Legally I must tell you I am a disaster. I've written like 6 novels but haven't had the real courage to query agents yet, and also I don't know how to make decisions (DISASTER). So please send me wine for Courage. Maybe a heart too. Oh and also a brain.





 

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