Charmed (Reboot) S01 E10 – Like a band-aid on a wound.

Previously: Everyone drank a lot of coquito.
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Keep Calm and Harry On

Rebecca: We open with an old-timey bank robbery as a masked man grabs a woman, shoots a gun, and runs away. He’s caught and unmasked to reveal: Harry! Our whitelighter baby who just got sucked into a demon jail. Current Harry wakes up from this vision, and we see a scorpion has injected him with black, uhh, goo stuff? (M: Yes, accurate.) A deep voice tells Harry he’ll be broken by reliving memories he wants to forget. This voice belongs to, perhaps, the worst CGI dragon eye I’ve ever seen. Then again, I’ve never seen Eragon. That might be worse. Harry tells Dragon Eye that memory isn’t even real. Dragon Eye laughs like a Basic Villain Bitch and we pan upward to see Harry in a deep prison hole surrounded by many deep prison holes.

Hell title!

At the MMManor the sisters are trying to find a way to free Harry from what Macy delightfully calls “Hell-catraz”. Charity is here too, unfortunately. She says the Scythe is the only known way to get into Tartarus, and it’s been destroyed. The elders apparently don’t give a crap about Harry and seem to have shrugged off Harry’s situation. Charity is very upset by this, so I hate her a little less. Charity says she’ll sleep on it basically, and in the meantime, Mel should go back to investigating Sarcana and Macy needs to find out what her lab buddies are up to. Macy’s already done some digging and found out Julia was married to Alistair, and she’s Parker’s mom. Charity leaves as Macy gets a text from Galvin who is ready to talk about witch stuff.

Mel is going to ask the Sarcana for help to save Harry, but first, she checks on Maggie who is crying in bed. My heart hurts a lot. Mel gives her a comforting speech before heading out. Alone, Maggie puts some green goo on her wrist and does a spell to lock away her hurt feelings. The green stuff turns into a literal bandage. Some subtle symbolism there.

Marines: I won’t bog down this recap with the many possible interpretations, so let’s just assume this spell is like… a bandage… on a wound. 

Rebecca: Macy meets up with Galvin and confirms she and her sisters are all super special witches. Galvin takes it all in stride and says he grew up with his grandmother talking about witches and demons all the time, and that she told him she did a spell as a baby to protect him from evil. Macy confirms that’s true, but the mark is gone now. Galvin is extremely excited by all this and asks to see Macy’s powers again. It’s all very cute, and I love him. He’s a bit put off, however, when Macy bluntly informs him they’re working for a demon.

Speaking of, Parker is with his mom when Alistair shows up. He’s looking for Hunter and doesn’t believe Parker’s lie about Hunter taking the amulet and running away. Alistair uses his mind control powers on Julia, who harms herself to break free. She says they have a settlement, and he’s not allowed to do that. Girl, he’s a demon. (M: I find it hilarious that they have this settlement, that Alistair signed it and that Mom believes he’ll be like oh yeah that paper I signed…) Parker just kind of sits there. I don’t know how I feel about any of these people. (M: 👎🏽)

The Sarcana. Mel watches as The Sarcana chant and try to help the woman they rescued from Tartarus. Jade says she’s an important witch known as the Keeper of the Sacred Flame (new band name). They’re using glowing tubes Jade calls Hellflame to power an incubator, which I guess is supposed to heal her. Jade says they don’t have enough, but when they get more, the Elders won’t be in power for long. Jade does promise to help rescue Harry, however. She’s going to help Mel find Dante, the demon who guards the nearest gate to Tartarus.

In Tartarus, the scorpion is still crawling on Harry’s arm, and I don’t know how he’s not swatting at it and screaming. He challenges Dragon Eye to show him another false memory. I’m remembering now that Harry’s human memories were wiped when he became a whitelighter. Doesn’t he realize these are probably real though? Come on, Harry. The scorpion shows him a memory of a prison fight where Harry gets stabbed in his stomach. When he snaps out of the memory, he has a scar where he’d been stabbed. Harry is realizing maybe he was kind of an asshole human and not a hero after all.

Mari: I get it, it sucks to realize maybe you were an asshole, but it was so long ago Harry! Buck up!

Rebecca: Mel is talking to Maggie on the phone and says they need to give something to Dante in exchange for Harry. She suggests they get Harbie (Fully Loaded) from the Elders, who is a very evil demon and should probably be there anyway. Maggie dully says that sounds like a plan but hangs up when she runs into Parker who is still just walking around campus like everything is hunky dory. He says some more dumb bullshit about not wanting to hurt her, and apparently the magic band-aid. isn’t strong enough because she gets very emotional and runs off. At home, Maggie applies an additional magic band-aid.

At the lab, Macy and Galvin break into Julia’s office to an incredibly funky song. They’re adorable.

Mari: I really love that Macy is having a chance to show off a little and that someone’s reaction to their magic is positive and awed. The girls haven’t had a chance to do this yet really so the little bit of reveling in her power is fun. 

Rebecca: And how could anyone possibly react to the existence of magic with anything other than “WHAT??? AWESOME!!”

They find some DNA strands on her computer, and Macy jumps to the conclusion that Julia must be turning human DNA into demon DNA. Julia comes back before they can discuss it further, so they make out and pretend they were just there to kiss. Macy grabs part of the computer on the way out, and they run off giggling like school children before kissing more, and something terrible is going to happen to them I just know it.  They’re too happy and cute. (M: I’m gonna need a magical band-aid if it does.) Galvin invites her to stay over but hesitates when Macy says she’s a virgin.

Back at the MMManor, Macy confides in Mel and Maggie. Mel says it must have just been shock while Maggie plays with a candle and spaces out. She must have too many magic band-aids on. Charity barges in and puts up a fight about giving Harbie to some demons. Mel tries to convince her that Harry is worth it before she leaves again. Of course he is! Almost immediately after she teleports away, she sends back the paint can. Which, if you remember, doesn’t actually have Harbie because Alistair took him many episodes ago.

We get a brief flash of Harry getting more upset in Tartarus before the sisters take Harbie to Dante, who is a rugged man that runs a blacksmith. I think. I’m having a hard time figuring out what this place is. (M: I think the key word was just RUGGED, but my guess is locksmith.) The sisters demand to see Harry is okay, so Dante shows Harry on a little TV screen. He’s not looking great. Mel hands over Harbie, but Dante quickly realizes it’s empty and thinks they’re trying to trick him. Mel freezes him before he can hurt them, and they come up with a plan to trap Dante, have Maggie read his thoughts, and save Harry themselves. When Mel unfreezes Dante, Macy pins him against the wall with a heavy safe, and Maggie dully tries to read this thoughts but realizes she can’t because of all her magic band-aids. Dante breaks free before she can remove them, grabs Maggie, and turns his hand into a key to open Tartarus before pushing Maggie inside. Harsh. Dante says to bring him Harbie or they’ll never see Maggie again.

At the MMManor, Charity insists she didn’t know the paint can is empty. She remembers taking the paint can in an elevator and running into Alistair, who she now recognizes from the picture Macy showed earlier. Charity says no demon has been able to mesmerize her before, so he must be very powerful. Mel and Macy turn to Parker for information. Parker says he’s seen the paint can in Alistair’s study, and they won’t be able to get in there without him.

Meanwhile, Dragon Eye shows Maggie bad memories of Parker and her mom. Harry hears her calling and aww they’re neighbors, that was nice of Dragon Eye. (M: There must be a strict system of filling the hell cells in order. Gotta keep it logical and organized.) Harry gives her encouraging words and taunts Dragon Eye to torture him instead. I’m a little confused because are there multiple Dragon Eyes? Can he only torture one at a time? What’s everyone else in Tartarus doing right now then?

Anyway, Dragon Eye falls for it and sends the scorpion to Harry. Harry gets memories of a son who died and there’s a lot of screaming and Basic Villain Bitch laughter before we cut away.

Mel, Macy, and Parker smoke into Alistair’s study. They very easily walk up to a sliding door where Alistair has stored Harbie. Mel also sees a bottle of glowing Hellflame, which she grabs without Mel or Parker seeing. Meanwhile, Alistair is at the lab where he’s cornered Julia. He mesmerizes Julia, who tells Alistair that Parker sent Hunter to Tartarus. He walks out.

Mel and Macy bring Harbie to Dante who releases Harry and Maggie. Alistair shows up and says Harbie belongs to him and his son shouldn’t be in Tartarus. Mel assumes Parker betrayed them. Alistair does a lot of evil guy taunting, and I lol’d when Macy used her powers to throw a bunch of KEYS at him. Macy, babe. You’re great. She later interrupts more of his speech by stabbing him with what looks like nail file and calls him Daenerys, and I can’t do this scene justice. Please just watch it.

Mari: I wish Macy would show up to telekinesis a nail file into the forehead of every villain in the middle of monologuing.  

Rebecca: Alistair uses the nail file to cut his human face off, and everyone is appropriately horrified. As Alistair throws fire everywhere, Maggie receives a telepathic “love is great” message from Harry, so she runs to her sisters and they create what looks like a mini spirit bomb (for my dbz fans) to throw at Alistair. He seems surprised but gets away.

After the not commercial, Mel throws Harbie into Tartarus. After, they all surround Harry and ask Maggie how she created the spirit bomb. Harry says she created her own spell and then coughs a lot, so they decide to take him home.

At the MMManor, the sisters talk about Parker and how they were almost starting to believe he wasn’t so bad, Charity teleports in and asks to see Harry. They give her tea to bring to Harry, who tells Charity he knows who he was as a human now: a criminal responsible for the death of his son. Charity said she saw his memories too, which was against the rules. She says his human son didn’t die, he’d managed to save him, and his son is still alive even now. Charity tells Harry she loves him and they kiss, and I don’t know. I don’t really care about them as a couple yet. (M: Same, mostly because Charity is meh. I like Harry, tho.)

Rebecca: Outside, Parker finds Maggie on the porch to see if she’s okay. Maggie tells him to piss off, but before he goes, he says his dad is leaving town. Whatever they did freaked him out, and now he’s afraid.

At a bar, Mel brings Jade the bottle of Hellflame because she doesn’t want the Elders in power anymore. Jade kisses her, and there’s a lot of kissing in this episode. Mel leaves the bar with Jade, but before they go, someone takes a picture of them. It’s Niko!! How dare you play with my heart like this, show.

At the MMManor, Galvin comes over to visit Macy. Galvin apologizes and brings Macy some information he found about Julia. It contains all of their DNA, and Macy realizes that Mel and Maggie don’t share a father. Maggie and Macy do. This drama, y’all. I’m loving it.

Next time on Charmed: Maggie wants to try out for an a cappella group in S01 E11 – Witch Perfect.