The Vampire Diaries S01 E07 – Two men and a baby

Previously: Damon was basically in quarantine.
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Haunted

Nic: Hello my freaky darlings. (Props to you if you get that reference.)

We open the episode with Tyler heading to his car and looking around at a doo sound effect that he apparently hears. He frowns, ignores that improbability, and gets in his car before Vicki greets him from where she’s sitting in the passenger’s seat. I know they’re fast, but it does seem like he should have been able to see or hear a car door opening or her… leaning down… in the seat while he got in if she was already there? He tells her that everyone’s looking for her and asks if she’s on drugs, because everyone thinks she’s on a bender. She’s shivering and unstable and mumbles that she wishes. When Tyler questions her on what happened, she admits to being scared and feeling hungry and out of control. She kind of mouths his neck and thinks about biting him, then actually attacks, throwing him out of the car and baring her fangs before Stefan shows up and pulls her off.

Damon shows up along with Stefan, because they’re working together now? Did that happen between episodes?

Emmy: I legitimately had to check to make sure I hadn’t missed an entire episode. If you haven’t seen this episode, I cannot describe to you how much the dynamic shifted in just a few minutes or hours or whatever.

Marines: I guess playing hide and seek with his daylight ring really, uh, brought Stefan closer to Damon. That’s the only explanation I have.

Nik: Tyler calls Damon ‘dude,’ Damon chooses that of all things to get offended by, and then wipes Tyler’s memory of what happened. Not before Tyler punches Damon, however, and so I think we all won a little bit in that moment. They vanish after the compulsion and the title card plays.

We rejoin Elena in her bedroom, which is a clear effort to show us what a lovely person Elena is. There’s a pan over of photos of her with her dead parents, multiple award ribbons (in what? Do we know that Elena is smart or athletically driven or anything that might earn her ribbons?)(E: Um excuse you she was a cheerleader before her parents died and trauma made her boring), and multiple journals. We finally settle on the sleeping Elena, who didn’t bother to wash her makeup off before bed and that’s not good for your skin, honey.

She goes into the bathroom and meets up with Jeremy, who says that he’s up early to join the police in a search party for Vicki. She asks if he should be at school instead. He scoffs at that, and she says, “You shouldn’t skip school. If you find her, we’ll know. That’s what cell phones are for.” Jeremy stares at her and replies, “Yeah, your lips keep movin’, I don’t know why,” before leaving.

Honestly, I don’t blame him. Telling him to go to school instead of looking for his possibly-murdered girlfriend isn’t the best angle, Lena darling. He won’t be alone and it’s daytime, it’s not like Vicki’s going to chomp him right then and there. Let him at least think he’s helping.

We skip to school, where everyone is preparing a Halloween party. Matt receives a call from Vicki, who says that she’s okay and is figuring things out before hanging up. Vicki is at the Salvatore house and grumps about not being home while Damon observes that there’s nothing about Logan’s death in the newspaper. Someone must be covering it up!

Of course, as Logan and his ancestors are the only newspeople in Mystic Falls for the last few centuries, maybe there’s just no one left to report it.

Emmy: They’ve lost their only teacher and their only journalist?? This town is falling apart.

Mari: At least they still have their one restaurant, my god.

Nik: Damon’s playing with the Compass of Plot and answers Vicki’s query about it to inform her that it’s very special, and that it’s a problem that Logan Fell had it. Stefan observed that maybe Damon should leave town since people were onto him, and Damon dismisses this. Vicki cuts in with the newsflash that she’s hungry, and Stefan picks up a cup from the table that apparently has just been hanging out there with blood in it and no one drank from it or noticed it. Seems unlikely that a newborn vampire wouldn’t find the only blood open to air in the room… but okay.

Stefan tells her that it’s animal blood while Damon guesses at what type (“Skunk? Saint Bernard? Bambi?”). Damon adds that she’s new and needs ‘people blood,’ because her body can’t be sustained by just animal blood. Vicki jumps on this instantly, agreeing ‘yeah, why can’t I have people blood?’ Stefan walks her through why it’s wrong to prey on innocent people and it’s right about here that I notice the weird ‘two dads raising a crazy kid’ dynamic they’ve got going on.

Oh god, do people ship them? I don’t want to know. I don’t need to know.

Emmy: We have had this discussion before and I again refuse to search for it, but… yes. There’s Wincest, there’s Salvatorcest.

Also, laughing at how quickly Vicki jumps on the people!blood! train.

Nik: Damon and Stefan argue in front of their weird adopted-kid newborn about whether or not it’s okay to bite someone tasty and erase their memory afterward while Vicki giggles at Damon. It’s somewhere between good-shoulder-angel and bad-shoulder-angel, mixed with Mom and Dad arguing about whether or not you can have the last cookie before bed.

Damon leaves while Vicki asks for more blood, and he smiles to himself when he senses that Elena’s at the front door. She wants to see Stefan, and he snarks at her a few times.

Elena: How can you be so arrogant and glib after everything you’ve done?
Damon: And how can you be so brave and stupid to call a vampire arrogant and glib?

Honestly, it’s a fair point. Elena would 10/10 be a Gryffindor. There’s so much brash bravery with so little planning or forethought going into her actions.

Emmy: I’m mostly distracted by the teenager who, when she is legitimately upset, calls someone “glib.”

Nik: I mean, fair.

Elena: If you wanted me dead, I’d be dead.
Damon: Yes, you would.
Elena: But I’m not.
Damon: Yet.

Now, this tiny exchange interests me a lot. I know that there’s a love triangle later in the show, but I’ve never seen it form. I’m very curious to see how they do it and I suspect that this moment is beginning the very early stages of groundwork for it– iterating to Elena and the viewers that Damon doesn’t actually want her dead. (M: Ah yes, that classic romantical beginning: I don’t really want to kill you!)

In addition, it supports my rant in the last episode about how I think Damon is mostly bark about wanting to kill Stefan and ruin his life. He’s a terrible person, but I don’t think he actually wants to cause his brother active harm. We haven’t seen him do much other than mess with, irritate, and put Stefan in difficult spots. It reminds me a lot of the Ice Truck Killer in the first season of Dexter– he wants to back Stefan/Dexter into a corner and see if he finds a way out, because it’s his way of playing.

Damon leaves the house and smiles somewhat fondly to himself after Elena closes the door behind him. Again, laying that groundwork. Stefan shows up to talk to Elena, who immediately interrogates him on where Vicki is and what she’s supposed to say to Jeremy who is looking for his girlfriend. Stefan assures her that he’s trying to work with Vicki, but because of her personality and addiction, it’s going to be hard at first.

 

Elena again has issues with the fact that she’s lying “to everyone that [she] cares about” and I consider putting my head through the coffee table, because holy crap this is going to be a long season if she has problems about lying about vampirism throughout it. Elena. Bella figured this out in like ten minutes flat. You can’t tell people. The end. That’s just the way it is. If you tell people, either they’ll get eaten or Stefan will get staked. How are you still struggling with this?

Emmy: I mean, how bad is lying when compared to evil vampires hunting down your loved ones because of your weird compulsive need to tell the truth?

Mari: The lying thing is also kind of self-centered? Like I actually get that lying is bad and keeping the lies straight is stressful, but in the face of everyone else’s problems, namely VAMPIRISM, like chill girl. Lie a little.

Nik: Of all the morals Elena could have, honesty is not the one that will help her out the most in this series.

Stefan tells Elena that he’s going to keep Vicki with him until he knows she’s safe, at which point she appears and asks how long that’s going to be. Fair question, Vick. “We can talk about that later,” Stefan dads at her. Elena asks how Vicki is, and Vicki snarks at her.

OH MY GOD BONNIE IS STILL IN THIS SHOW??

We show up and she’s still at her grandma’s house, where she’s apparently been all weekend. When Bonnie asks about the Salem witch trials (seriously, Bonnie? Original.) her grandma says that the girls who died there were innocent, but that their family did flee Salem and end up in Mystic Falls. She says that it’s fine that people ‘know’ she’s a witch because they know that it’s crazy, kooky, and untrue. As long as they don’t take it seriously, it’s fine. Apparently Grams has been teaching history for the past two days rather than teaching Bonnie how to do any magic, which Bonnie is annoyed about, and Grams sends her off to school.

Emmy: Grams is still the least “grams-y” person I have seen in my life.

Nik: Cut to a short scene of Damon watching Mr. and Mrs. Lockwood talk about the vampire problem. Apparently the coroner also knows about vampires, which is handy, and surmised to them that there’s probably only one vampire around. Oh, my darling Vicki. Why do I feel like you’re going to be the scapegoat? (M: If our vampire bros are smart, she will be.) The Lockwoods are also annoyed that the vampire took the watch.

Matt and Tyler are at school and talk about Vicki being missing. Caroline shows up with a witch costume for Bonnie and is doing her best to have “some silly, fluffy, Damon-free fun” and Bonnie, I will crawl through this television screen and get you if you ruin that for her with your incessant pouting. (E: A+) Caroline gives Bonnie the Necklace of Plot to wear with her costume. (M: So many accessories of plot. Have these people never heard of less is more or take one item off before you leave the house?)

In my most problematic moment so far- back at the Salvatore house, Stefan tells Vicki that caffeine is their friend because it “circulates through the body and makes it warm to the touch” and I just- I just- what? WHAT? Why coffee? How does- why does- I think I’m short circuiting. Does anyone else want to take why vampires drinking coffee is just… so… anyone?

Emmy: So we’ve all noticed that they drink coffee and alcohol and here is the answer. It is so much dumber than I thought it would be. I thought maybe they just liked the taste and could ingest it or whatever.

Mari: Coffee makes me feel warm and fuzzy, but that’s all the explanation I have on that one.

Nik: Stefan tells Vicki to fight the urge to drink human blood. She asks if he’s tasted it, he says it’s been years and that he’s not proud of his past behavior. Vicki leaves to pee, and Stefan goes to get her more blood, leaving Elena unsupervised. Excellent decision.

Vicki returns because it was a ‘false alarm’ on the pee thing and I just- short-circuiting again, be right back.

Okay, I’ve taken some deep breaths. Vicki tries to call Jeremy, Elena puts her foot down, and Vicki dismisses her worries and opinion. “How long have you been preparing the ‘you’re not good enough’ speech? I’m presuming it predates the whole vampire thing,” she says, and it’s just a really good line that Elena doesn’t really have a defense for. Vicki takes this moment to be a great sister and starts choking Elena while saying, “let’s get one thing straight, you perky little bitch. You had my brother whipped for 15 years, 15 years, and then you dumped him. When I look at you, that is all that I see. Just so you know.”

That’s an accurate portrayal of a protective sister. Good job, show.

Vicki threatens to rip Elena’s head off if she keeps Jeremy from her and drops her to the floor while Elena chokes for air. We next see Elena outdoors talking to Stefan about how Vicki tried to kill her.

Emmy: Snitches get stitches, Elena. Deal with your own drama, don’t make your vampire not-boyfriend deal with it.

Mari: It’s only episode 7, and it’s a wonder that Elena is still alive.

Nik: Stefan assures her that Vicki’s just on edge (you think?) and that being a newborn is hard. Elena is horrified that it might be months or years before Vicki chills out, and Stefan tells her that love, anger, lust, desire all feel like hunger when you’re new and Vicki might bite Jeremy if she gets too close. He promises not to let anybody get hurt and that feels like a promise he really just can’t keep. Elena maybe senses that, because she says that she’s going. Also she’s skipping school, but whatever.

Emmy: BUT JEREMY NEEDED TO GO TO SCHOOL INSTEAD OF HELPING FIND VICKI OKAY ELENA.

Nik: Damon pops into Vicki’s room to play Cool Dad and sits on her bed. She asks why he turned her, he admits that he was bored, and she looks appropriately angry when she repeats that he did this to her out of boredom. “It’s one of the pitfalls of eternity,” he replies mildly, and she cheers up abruptly to tell him that she’s bored and thirsty af. He laughs and tells her the thirst subsides as she settles into vampirism. He invites her outside, saying “your life was pathetic, your afterlife doesn’t have to be,” and takes her hand to lead her outside.

Stefan Responsible Dads him in the hallway when he sees them heading for the door, but Damon persuades him to let them go in the front yard. Way to be strong, Stefan. This will in no way backfire. They play with zooming around a little bit, and then Vicki runs off.

Damon doesn’t look perturbed by this. Vicki goes home and then realizes that she can’t enter her own house. She calls for Matt, who invites her in and makes her hot dogs. He tries to question her about what happened, but she’s not receptive to this. She breaks a plate when he gets frustrated with her, says that her head hurts, and the doorbell rings. It’s Responsible Dad!

Emmy: There’s so much “two dudes have to raise a kid together” energy in this episode it’s not even funny.

Mari: Also, Matt takes her breaking that glass plate with a fork really in stride.

Nik: He’s a bold man with a bar of concerns that far outpace his sister’s brute strength, apparently.

Vicki declares that she doesn’t want Stefan in there, not to let him in, and Matt is understandably confused by this. Stefan requests to come in, but Matt says no and shuts the door on him. Good, Matt. At least he doesn’t just abandon his sister like Jeremy did last episode.

Speaking of Jeremy, he’s trying to contact Vicki at his house. Elena invites Jeremy to hang out at the school Halloween party, more to keep an eye on him than to actually spend time with him. He agrees, but she then harps on the ‘leave Vicki alone’ issue again, so they end up arguing. Jeremy said that he was extremely low in his depression after their parents died, and that he had recently started to feel better. He explains that Vicki was in each of those better moments, so he’s not going to stay away from her. Vicki then texts him and suggests that they meet up at the school Halloween party, and Jeremy is a happy camper again.

At the school Halloween party, I’m reminded once again that my high school was boring and can never live up to the glory of fake tv high school. Tyler is dressed as an honestly pretty appealing Spartan in a clear fuckboi effort not to wear a shirt. He offers alcohol to Bonnie, who turns it down, and Caroline takes the drink. Caroline, you enjoy that drink, sweetheart. You’ve earned it. Just be safe.

Back at the One Bar and Grill, Mayor Lockwood leaves to go to the Halloween party (hopefully not the school one because that’s weird) (E: I actually think it is, which is weird) and Damon makes his move on Mrs. Lockwood. They flirt, he mentions that he’s Zach’s nephew, and we realize that she’s wearing a vervain bracelet after he tries to compel her and it doesn’t work.

Mari: I am so happy she’s like “what’s wrong with you?” because compelling comes complete with a very intense smolder. I giggled.

Nik: I know. It always cracks me up.

Mrs. Lockwood mentions that she knows Zach through the Founder’s Council. Damon says that he can help provide vervain to her.

Elena arrives at school and meets Matt, who is wearing a doctor costume to match her nurse costume. Apparently they went together last year, which is cute. Matt annoys Jeremy, who stomps off. Elena said they got into a ‘big fight’ (that wasn’t a big fight), Matt says he did with Vicki as well, and that she’s wandering around the school dressed as a vampire. (Even Elena kind of half-rolls her eyes at that.)

Emmy: Unless she was already going to be a vampire and that was just… you know, fate, how the hell did she find a costume so quickly?

Nik: Elena’s Jeremy Senses immediately go off and she rushes off to find him.

Vicki’s off looking thirsty and for Jeremy as she wanders through the hallway, but Stefan snatches her. He Responsible Dads and ‘I’m disappointed in you’s her for a few minutes about her hunger and how she can’t manage it in an environment like this.

Back at the bar, Damon’s trying to figure out how many people know about vampires. He figures out that the Founders Council probably all knows, but Mrs. Lockwood is smart enough to at least not rattle off a number to him, saying that Zach knows how many there are. Damon flirts some more to calm her back down and offers to escort her to the school, which answers my previous question but inspires a new one- why are the mayor and his wife attending the high school Halloween party? Why are kids openly drinking at that party if that’s the case?

Emmy: *whispers* Because in YA adults don’t do anythinggggg.

Nik: Mrs. Lockwood does say that anyone who showed up during the day for the Founder’s Party was eliminated as a vampire suspect, so they definitely don’t know about the rings, the poor buggers. It’s looking increasingly likely that Vicki is going to get pinned as being the only vampire.

Stefan drags Vicki to Elena, and Vicki tells Matt that Stefan won’t leave her alone. Matt tries to defend his sister and Vicki runs off. Stefan puts his hands on Matt to tell him that he’s trying to help Vicki, which definitely seems like the best plan.

Jeremy wanders into a room very specifically labeled as “The Druid Room,” which is a reference to the books, in which Mr. Tanner died in the Druid Room at the Halloween party. Cute nod, but then we’re distracted by Vicki and Jeremy making out inside. She drags him outside.

Damon meets Bonnie and asks where Caroline went. Bonnie gets sassy at him and tells him to stay away from her. It’s at this point that Damon sees Necklace of Plot around her neck and asks for it back. Bonnie says that’s up to Caroline, Damon tries to snatch it, and it burns his hand. Way to go, Necklace of Plot. We’ve all been thinking it, you just did it.

 

 

 

Bonnie runs off, and Damon looks suitably pensive as he looks after her.

Mari: Yes, Bonnie is still in this show, but 7 episodes in she just makes a weird thing happen and then runs away. New material for Bonnie, PLEASE.

Nik: I’m telling y’all, this character arc was added in post. This is only the second time she’s done magic in front of one of our main cast, and last time- after setting a car on fire– Stefan was like ‘huh’ and then never mentioned it again. Let’s hope Damon has better follow-up?

Elena and Stefan look for Vicki and Jeremy, but they aren’t smart enough to look outside, where they’re making out against a bus. Vicki says that she’s going to run away and asks Jeremy to come with her. She then says that they could be together forever, and Jeremy agrees. Ope. Okay, Jer. Vicki chomps on his lower lip with a truly gross sound effect that has me cringing HARD. They keep making out after she licks the blood up. He shoves her back when she bites him again, and she vamps out on him.

Elena interrupts and hits her with a board (M: ELENA, find some self-preservation) , so Vicki attacks her. Stefan intervenes, Vicki shoves him back and dives under a bus (I had to watch the scene twice to confirm that’s what was happening) and Stefan tells Jeremy and Elena to run inside as he starts checking under the busses.

Vicki grabs Elena and chomps her, (E: Told you. Snitches get stitches and you’re gonna need some.) Stefan stakes Vicki through the back and chest, and with her die my dreams of a better future for her. Jeremy is understandably traumatized in the background as Stefan keeps him away from her and she dies.

Emmy: Okay, so the special-effects have been minimal other than vamping, but here, where she turns gray and sort of decays a little in front of us, is pretty well done. I’m very pleased with this.

Mari: My main reference point is the vampires turning to ash in Buffy, so this is leagues better just by virtue of being years later. Wait, I just Googled this and Buffy ended in 2003 and TVD started in 2009. The fact that those two dates are only 6 years apart, and the fact that 2003 feels like just yesterday and 87 year ago… What were we talking about?

Nik: Elena tells Stefan to get Jeremy out, and Stefan calls Damon to tell him that he needs his help. Key point- this would have been an excellent moment for Damon to snark at him or refuse, but he just comes as needed. Again, this is a moment where the writers are laying that groundwork to make him ‘not evil’ (after six episodes of showing that he is a bad person) and showing that Damon doesn’t actually want to fully screw Stefan over.

Mari: I resent those first six episodes hard. Had they maintained this level of relationship between Stefan and Damon, my TVD experience so far would’ve been so different. I think you don’t have to sanitize Damon completely– he still has to be reckless and heartless, at least comparatively. However, they went ham on showing us murderer and child rapist Damon and now they want to be like ha ha ha look at the two dads. I’m just not the type of viewer that’s going to roll with this. Especially because regardless of what gaps we fill in for the writing, the fact that the past 6 episodes feel different to the 7th is a storytelling problem. At this point, frankly, we’ve done more work than the writers did.

Nik: This is very fair. It’s different to the point where I almost wonder if they got negative feedback or something and started working to soften up Damon’s character with edits or rewrites. That may not have happened, but that’s how much of a departure this episode is for his character.

Bonnie runs to see her Grams and shows her the Necklace of Plot. Grams informs Bonnie that the necklace belonged to the most powerful witch in their family, Emily Bennett, and shows her a picture of her.

Damon meets Elena by Vicki’s corpse and tells her to go, that he’ll take care of it. Elena is angry because this is Damon’s fault, and he says, “You confuse me for someone with remorse.” He stops her from slapping him, then actually lets her slap him, then tells her to git.

Mari: Okay, I’ve complained about her insistence on doing things to get herself killed, but this is the most relatable one. If your first slap doesn’t succeed, try, try again.

Nik: Damon crouches by the body, and I wonder if he’s going to be smart enough to call Mrs. Lockwood and tell her that he found a vampire, because that’s 10/10 the move to make. Pretend you killed the vampire. Get in with the council. Do it.

Matt corners Elena to ask if they found Vicki, and Elena mumbles (E: woodenly) that she doesn’t know where she is and that Matt’s a good brother. She goes to her car and cries before heading home. Stefan is waiting on the porch and sends her inside to see Jeremy, who is being Very Sad in his room. You can tell because he’s hugging his knees and staring at the wall with panda eyes.

Elena asks Jeremy if he understands what happened, and he says no. Elena reminds him that Vicki was going to kill her, and he reiterates that Vicki’s dead, that everyone dies on him, and asks her to make it stop because it hurts. He cries and Elena hugs him like a good sister.

Emmy: Honestly, I feel so sorry for Jeremy. Like yeah, it’s not like he and Vicki really had a great relationship or anything, but she did still die in front of him and his parents just died too. Poor kid.

Nik: Jeremy’s life sucks for real. Elena walks back outside to see Stefan, who’s just been listening to them cry and thinking about how he’s disappointed that his adopted newborn didn’t listen to him. Elena asks him to take away Jeremy’s memories of what happened. He’s not strong enough to do it, but Damon just appears and volunteers to do it. (More groundwork.)

Interestingly, in this moment of being a ‘good guy,’ Damon is styled very differently and noticeably. He looks more like Stefan somehow. His hair is pushed back from his face, there’s just a whole clean vibe going on that is distinctly different from the rest of his look normally. This is Good Guy Damon, clearly.

Mari: Also, though, the fact that Good Guy Damon’s best act is something so terribly questionable is on brand. Not even only on his part, but Elena… WIPE YOUR BROTHER’S MEMORIES? I’m sure it’s coming from a good place but girlfriend. This is certainly going to backfire.

Nik: Oh, it’s 100% going to backfire. He’s going to get them back and be infuriated at her betrayal and then it’ll be a whole arc. I can feel it.

Stefan asks if Elena wants her memories removed, but she says that she can’t have that happen even though it’s what she wants. She says “I can’t lose the way that I feel about you” and they stare at each other intensely before Damon comes out to tell them that it’s done. Elena goes back inside and the episode ends.

Mari: Whatever, I’m considering this the second pilot. -_-

Nic: Honestly, that’s probably a smart move.

Next time on The Vampire Diaries: An old, undead friend of Stefan’s is in town in S01 E08 – 162 Candles.