The Witcher S01 E07 – Valid teen angst

Previously: A dragon hunt and heartbreak.

Before a Fall

Marines: A man catches Ciri trying to steal and asks where she’s headed. She answers Skellige and wonders how long it will take her to get to the coast. The man says it’s a week with a fast horse. Ciri asks how long by foot and the man just laughs and leaves. A nearby woman tells her this town isn’t safe if she’s alone. Ciri says then it’s like every other place, then.

Catherine: #validteenangst

Mari: Geralt stands up on a mountain and watches as a heck ton of Nilfgaardian soldiers approach. We cut to a dungeon where Geralt waits before Mousesack meets him. Mousesack assumes Geralt is finally here for his child surprise. Geralt says he’s just here to make sure “he” is safe. Mousesack breaks the news that his child surprise is a girl and is being raised by Calanthe because Pavetta and Duny died while at sea.

Mousesack wonders why Geralt would come now and why the child wouldn’t be safe. Geralt shares that he saw all those Nilfgaardian soldiers. Mousesack knows the threat, but since that night at Pavetta’s ball, Calanthe has done everything in her power to make her family safe.

Geralt hears something, and then we all hear something, because whoever is hiding in the shadows runs away very loudly. Geralt asks Mousesack if these are sent assassins, but Mousesack doesn’t know anything about this. Geralt walks through the tunnels and spots a couple of the men, confirming that they are here to probably murder his face off. Geralt heads back to Mousesack and uses him as a human shield as a bunch more assassins come out of the shadows.

DESTINY! shot.

Not wanting to be collateral damage, Mousesack portals them both to safety. And the title card.

Calanthe is examining her weapons and army. She’s expecting Eist’s arrival, and he’s bringing 50 of Skellige’s ships with him. As she’s exhibiting more of that before-a-fall kind of pride, Geralt and Mousesack walk into the courtyard. Calanthe is very not happy to see him, even when Geralt says he’s here to protect the girl. Calanthe tries to pay him off, but Geralt says he cannot be bought. Mousesack reminds her that basically nothing can break the Law of Surprise and even kings and queens who try to outbid DESTINY! end up on pikes. Calanthe asks what good it is if she wins the war but loses Ciri. (Um, like a bunch of your people won’t die??) Geralt is just offering to take her and protect her. He’ll bring her back if Calanthe does win the war. Calanthe seemingly concedes and says she’ll tell Ciri herself.

Catherine: This whole scene is good but also so, so frustrating because we KNOW that Geralt is literally the only way to keep Ciri safe right now, and Calanthe is just like, ‘No thanks. Want to keep my grandbaby with me.’ Is it frustrating in general, or just frustrating because of the whole timeline wibbly-wobbly which makes it so we, the viewer, know exactly how this is going to play out? I don’t know.

Mari: Probably both. And also probably because we the viewer trust Geralt, and so watching Calanthe just dig her heels in for reasons that seem pretty flimsy to the viewer is rough.

In the future, Ciri is still walking alone through a village, badly stealing stuff. She has to pay for a new pair of gloves with her mother’s ring. The woman from earlier, Zola, offers to bring Ciri home for the night after she’s done with her shopping. Ciri seemingly accepts, but once Zola leaves, Ciri just steals her horse and rides off.

And in the past, Geralt joins Calanthe as she seemingly tells Ciri that she must go with Geralt. But when Ciri stands to meet Geralt, we see that it isn’t Ciri at all. Calanthe is still trying to trick Geralt. Out in the hall, Geralt’s Witcher sense are going off? I honestly don’t know how else to describe what is happening. (C: His Spidey Sense is tingling.) But he follows his Witcher Spidey Senses through the tunnels to a side door that leads him into the village. Fake Ciri tells the kids gathered there that she has to go. She bows to one of the kids, calling her Highness, and runs off. And Geralt realizes that the girl dressed as a peasant is the real Ciri.

Catherine: How very Song Of Ice and Fire Jeyne Poole of them. But also, I love Fake!Ciri blowing her whole cover by going .02 steps outside of the palace and bowing to Real!Ciri. I feel like girlfriend was in over her head from the get go.

Mari: It seems like a very patched together plan.

Geralt confronts Calanthe about being a lying liar who lies. She doesn’t care though because she’s THE BEST and will DEFINITELY NOT LOSE TO NILFGAARD. Calanthe insults Geralt and his momma too and stomps away just as Eist has arrived. He asks what he missed, and Calanthe says nothing. She tells Eist to get Geralt out of her sight.

Eist escorts Geralt out of the castle, and he tries to appeal to him as well. He once honored the Law of Surprise, remember? But no one will listen to Geralt and everyone is super convinced they are just gonna beat Nilfgaard real quick and be on their way. Geralt starts to walk away, but Eist wants him to promise that he won’t be back. Geralt can’t promise that because he will be back if Ciri is in danger. And suddenly, two gates lower and Geralt is trapped in a courtyard jail cell.

Catherine: This is what I’m always scared is gonna happen when the door alarms start going off when I’m leaving Walmart.

Mari: I can’t say I’ve ever felt the same and yet that doesn’t seem like an unreasonable fear.

Somewhere, sometime, Yennifer rides up to what looks like one part war preparations, one part archaeological dig, all by way of Mount Doom. Two Nilfgaardian soldiers ask her for her travel papers, and she hands them over with one little bit of sass. The soldiers make themselves scarce just in time for Yen and Istredd to spot each other.

Istredd shows Yen around and is like “the colonizers aren’t THAT bad” because since the Nilfgaardians took Nazair by force, Istredd gets to pillage their lands while in search of a magnalith. It’s a really important something or other that has to do with the future and prophecies. Maybe the prophecy is “don’t let Nilfgaard take all the lands by force.”

We cut to Yen and Istredd sitting in a tavern. She asks how much longer he’ll be pillaging (or whatever) because maybe she misses him. Istredd chuckles. The Yen he knew never missed anyone. Yen thinks it might not be too late to have what the talked about in the cave that one time. He could “play with this rocks” and she could work as a mage. Istredd says Yen could have anyone. She has had plenty of anyones, but they all wanted her for the power she had from her position at court, not her own power. Istredd finishes that no one has ever seen her power but him.

Yen leans in for a kiss, but Istredd is obviously hesitant. He pulls away and says that after they broke up, he did everything he could to go to Aedirn, to work there and try for another chance with Yen. All of his requests, however, were denied. By Yen. It was Stregebor who broke him out of his breakup depression, and he poured himself into work. He reminds her that she wanted power more than she wanted him and leaves.

One second later, another man sits in the chair Istredd just left.

Despite this warm welcome, the man sticks around because he isn’t here to pick Yen up. He’s Vilgefortz of Roggeveen and he’s got information: Nilfgaard is conscripting mages into their service. He doesn’t have a letter of safe conduct, and he’s assume Yen’s is fake. He thinks they should go to Aretuza. Yen laughs, but Vilgefortz assures her that he and Tissaia need her. Yen is shocked that Tissaia asked for her. Vilgefortz shares that Tissaia said Yen was the best student she ever taught.

Aretuza. Yen doesn’t look happy to be here, but no one should be happy to be in a place powered by eel people. Vilgefortz wants to get down to business as word on the street is that Nilfgaard has surrounded Cintra and is about to attack. Yen doesn’t care. She wants to see Tissaia. Vilgefortz admits that Tissaia has no idea that Yen is there. Yen is not surprised. She says Aretuza is held together by bullshit, but I think my “powered by eel people” was better. We’re on the same page, though.

Yen is having trauma flashbacks in the dormitory. She hears laughter coming from the other side of the door of her old room. She barges in and scares the girls half to death, pretending for a moment to chastise them for their joy. But then she says fuck the teachers and shares that this used to be her old room. One of the girls asks if she’s been to court. Yen says yes. It was very elegant and very boring. She looks into the tiny mirror and has another trauma flashback so she decides it’s time to go get high.

Really. She takes the three girls down to the botany area and shows they how to mix herbs to get high. The girls babble a bit as they partake, and Yen learns that one of the girls comes from a rich family who paid Aretuza for her spot. Yen’s snappish reply kills the vibe and the girls want to get out asap. They try to beg off because they don’t want to get in trouble or expelled. (C: Okay, Hermione.) Yen tells them there are worse things than getting expelled. One of the girls asks like what.

Yen takes them to the eel pool. She tells them all about giving up their ability to have children in exchange for perpetual youth and beauty. The girls are like “oh, that’s fine by us,” just like Yen thought when she was in their place. They want to leave now, but Yen shows them what happens to the girls who don’t ascend. Yen is deep in another trauma flashback of when she saw her friends pushed into the pool when Tissaia breaks up this worst party ever.

After sending the girls back to their rooms, Tissaia tells Yen that she already ruined one life, and she should stop there. Tissaia leaves, but Yen chases after her, saying she never even wanted to come back here anyway. Tissaia replies that she failed at that too, then. Yen points out that Aretuza is kind of a joke now, accepting students who don’t even have magic. Tissaia says you do what you have to to survive.

Their argument is interrupted by the arrival of a bunch of mages. Among them is Triss. Yen calls out to her and asks what’s going on. It’s an emergency conclave because Nilfgaard is about to attack Cintra. (So Yen’s timeline has caught up to the attack on Cintra.) Yen acts surprised, but I’m almost certain she knew this already? Maybe it’s me who knows this already because this episode has reminded us about 100 times and also we definitely know that they do indeed attack Cintra. The point in the story where the timelines catch up has such huge potential to be boring and this episode? It’s flirting with boring.

Catherine: And confusing! Like, I guess it was always gonna be confusing, but when I tell you I have no idea what time we’re in for any scene in this episode and I’m just following vibes here…

Mari: I hope vibes is all we need.

In the emergency conclave, Artorius and Stregebor argue for leaving Cintra to their own devices, particularly because they’ve refused Aretuza’s mages for decades. Vilgefortz and Tissaia argue for stopping Nilfgaard, not for Cintra, but so that Nilfgaard doesn’t keep advancing.

Fringilla storms in and tells everyone that their fight is totally only with Cintra. She sells the Nilfgaardian propaganda heavy. Tissaia and Triss both push back on her for abandoning the ways of Aretuza and using forbidden magic. Fringilla says there’s no such thing, really, as forbidden magic.

As she keeps talking, we flash forward/back (lol) to the brutal sacking of Cintra, this time watching it with Fringilla’s continued speechifying, telling the conclave that if they take Cintra, they have a chance of saving it. Fringilla tells them to at least stay out of their way.

In a cell, Geralt is in his Witcher meditation pose. You can do this in the video game! Okay, this is my favorite part of the episode, which is less of a commentary on my love of the video game and more of a commentary on how slow this is moving.

Artorius proposes a vote, which Vilgefortz thinks is rich, considering that Fringilla is his niece. Fringilla reminds everyone that Yen was meant to go to Nilfgaard. Artorius says that if she had, they would still be a shitty backwater. Yen says instead she helped murderers and rapists keep their crown, just like the mages taught her. If she could vote, she would vote to burn it all down. Unfortunately for Cintra, most of the mages present also vote to let Cintra burn.

Tissaia speaks to Yen privately after the Conclave and tells her that even though Yen hates Aretuza, there are girls who need it. Girls who need to learn to control their chaos. Aretuza is all Tissaia has. Vilgefortz, Tissaia and a small group of mages are going to fight Nilfgaard anyway. Tissaia wants Yen to join, if not for the Brotherhood, then for her. She even says please.

We go forward/back to the moment when Nilfgaard breaches the castle gates. Geralt hears the melee.

He grabs a passing soldier through the gate of his cell and knocks him out, grabbing the keys off the soldier’s body.

Catherine: Finally! Things are happening!

Mari: Meanwhile, a dying Calanthe tells Mousesack that Geralt is still in the gate keep. Mousesack thinks that if they can bring Geralt to Ciri, DESTINY! may still yet side with them. Mousesack heads to collect Geralt, only to find his empty cell.

Geralt fights his way through a bunch of Nilfgaardian soldiers.

Mousesack brings the news of Geralt’s escape to Calanthe, but she thinks if he’s still out there, there is hope for Ciri. Then we watch the goodbye scene between Ciri and Calanthe again, in which Calanthe tells Ciri to find Geralt of Rivia, her DESTINY! And then we watch Calanthe jump to her death again.

Geralt sees Calanthe’s dead body and takes off with a determined look in his eye. We see he’s killed a bunch of Nilfgaardian soldiers. He keeps one alive to try and get some information from him about Ciri. He mostly learns that there are no Cintrans left and also these Nilfgaardians sure do like their religion.

In the future, Ciri is starting a fire and talking to her stolen horse. She hears someone in the fields close to her camp and looks up to see that there are five men coming towards her. Ciri recognizes one as Anton, someone she used to play knucklebones with in Cintra. Unfortunately for her, this isn’t Cintra and Ciri is alone. They’ve come here with bad intentions. Unfortunately for the bad guys, Ciri isn’t helpless. When they push her down to the ground, she releases magic and goes into a prophetic trance: Verily I say onto you, the era of the sword and the ax is nigh, the era of the Wolf’s Blizzard. The time of the White Chill and the White Light is nigh, the Time of Madness and the Time of Contempt.

I’m no professional prophecy interpreter but… I think this is bad news.

The episode ends with a black screen and a scream. Now that’s some teen angst.

 

Next time on The Witcher: Yennefier and the mages must fight and Ciri needs help in S01 E08 – Much More

Marines (all posts)

I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.





Catherine (all posts)

I am a 30-something year-old human woman who lives in Maine. I'm a freelance writer who mostly spends time that I should be doing that, watching T.V. I also love reading and comic books way too much.





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