sorry I have to shave my hands
“I have to shave my hands” was added to the arsenal of Snark Lady excuses thanks to RL Stine and that instant classic, My Hairiest Adventure. Larry, the protagonist, rubs a creamy, white substance all over his body and starts to grow thick patches of hair. These two things are unrelated, as (spoiler alert!) Larry turns out to be a dog. Mid-thick-hair-growing, Larry has to run out on band practice to shave his hands and that was our light bulb moment.
Using this as an excuse has the added bonus of scaring people out of ever inviting you anywhere else again. It’s kind of like saying “Hi, I never want to spend time with you” while giving the person the feeling that they are the ones making that choice. It’s the polite thing to do.