Previously: A future regular made his debut, which included killing his sister. Awkward. Also, we discovered that there’s such a thing as demon brothels, and now we wish we could forget that fact.
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Blind Date
Kirsti: We open in a dark street, where a shady looking guy is selling a couple of way-too-young-to-be-out-alone-after-dark kids some crappy looking toys. A young blind woman in a VERY unflattering outfit is walking down the street with a cane. (L: K, girl, she’s blind.) The shady guy stops her so that he can move his crappy looking toys out of her way. This scene apparently serves almost no purpose because we seizure cut – LESS THAN A MINUTE IN – to Angel fighting some vampires.
Lorraine: I’m pretty sure the point of the scene was to bash us over the head with how completely blind this woman is.
Sweeney: Are you insinuating that this show could possibly be unsubtle? Never…
K: SRSLY. Angel drops his stake – because apparently he’s decided that those awesome stake shooting wrist guards from the pilot are a bad idea – and has to resort to hand to hand combat instead. After a short struggle, he kills them both but then hears a man groaning in pain. He heads in the direction of the noise just in time to see the guy die.
Then he gets attacked by the blind woman, who’s incredibly good at fighting on account of…she’s Genderbent Daredevil? IDK, I’ve got nothing. (S: On account of, probs something suspiciously demony that we’ll investigate in the episode?) (Nice try, Sweeney) Angel knocks her glasses off, and her eyeballs are completely white. Come off it, Whedon. I already had to deal with eyeballs over in Sunnydale. Anyway, apparently she IS Genderbent Daredevil, because we see things from her perspective for a second and it’s pretty much the same deal. She knocks him down and by the time he gets up again, she’s gone.
Lorraine: And Angel is left to think, “hey! Running away really fast before anyone can see me is my thing. Rude.”
Sweeney: 1430.
K: And an A+. Roll electric cellos.
Over at the office the next day, Wes has been hitting the books without success. No blind demons. He wonders if maybe Angel’s found a new species before changing his mind and postulating that she’s just a woman who’s learnt to deal with her disability in a kickass way. Cordy does a two second search of the police database for “blind woman murder” and gets a grand total of one result. Because of contrivance.
Sweeney: For all the contrivance we’ve encountered today, I’m not sure there’s room for “implying that murdery blind women are uncommon breed” to qualify.
K: See, I was more thinking that perhaps at least ONE blind woman had been murdered in the history of Los Angeles. It’s not like she was doing a Boolean search or anything… #librarynerd Anyway, Genderbent Daredevil’s name is Vanessa Brewer and she was first arrested in 1993 for fleeing the scene of a homicide. Then again in 1995 for assault, and again in 1999 as a suspect in a double homicide for which she’s currently out on bail. And her lawyers are Wolfram & Hart because that’s totally something the LAPD database would list.
With that, we cut to a courtroom where Lindsey is all “HOW COULD YOU CHARGE A BLIND WOMAN WITH MURDER???” (L: Or with dressing badly. KIRSTI.) (QUIET YOU) Angel walks into the courtroom and totally ruins this defence by hurling her sunglasses across the room. She reaches up and grabs them out of the air and the courtroom breaks into confused mutterings. Back at the office, Wes is all “She can’t see, but she CAN see. You know?” and then suggests that maybe she can see outside the standard visible spectrum. Cordy’s all “WHO CARES?” and Angel’s all “Me, on account of Wolfram & Hart are representing her for free so she’s clearly still working for them.”
Speaking of, over at W&H, Lee is impressed that Lindsey got all the charges against Genderbent Daredevil dropped.
Lor: I’m impressed that he’s recovered so well and so quickly.
K: Me too! You know, considering last time we saw him, he was in multiple casts. He then leers that she’s kinda hot, and I really hope he gets his face punched repeatedly again because that was fun. (L: Something that leaves a mark this time!) Some senior lawyer-y types congratulate Lindsey on his victory, and Genderbent Daredevil grabs his hand and says that it’s good to see him again. He looks a little wigged out.
One senior lawyer, Holland, pulls Lindsey aside for a chat. Chat Part 1: “You’ve had a rough year, son. Made some bad choices. We’d like to see you do well here, but you don’t seem happy.” Chat Part 2: “I think Genderbent Daredevil had a terrible childhood and you should make up lots of details about it now so that you have a defense ready the next time she commits a crime.” Lindsey’s all “Uhhh, okay??” on both parts. He then asks Holland what she’s going to do. “There are some children arriving. They pose a threat,” is the response. Lindsey looks shocked.
Over at Angel Investigations, we get further proof of my theory that Angel’s allergic to phone calls when he rips his desk phone out of the socket and hurls it across the room.
Lor: Legit. When I’m having an allergy attack I want to attack and hurl the culprits as well. It doesn’t work too well with, like, dust and stuff. Shame.
Sweeney: I saw this moment and immediately thought, “I need to gif that for a Fifty Shades post.“
K: Legit reaction to pretty much ANYTHING that ever happens in Fifty Shades. Wes and Cordy enter, looking concerned. Apparently Genderbent Daredevil’s court case ended in a hung jury, which I’ve always thought sounds far more violent than is necessary. He’s all angry-broody because what’s the point in fighting evil if you can’t be there to testify in court? It’s Wolfram & Hart’s world, he says. One that’s built on power and lies and a total lack of consequences. He pines a little for the days when he lived in a world like that. “But not the trying to kill your friends and family part, right??” Cordy asks. But then, everything changes. Because Lindsey walks in and asks for Angel’s help. He wants out of the Dark Side.
After the Not Commercial Break, Angel taunts Lindsey about being scared of him and having sold his soul for a corner office and a company car. Lindsey gives us some backstory – he grew up no shoes, no toilet poor, was one of six kids, and was seven years old when his father lost the house. He says that Angel couldn’t possibly understand on account of his father was a rich merchant right up until Angel killed him. Angel pretends to fall asleep and says “I’m sorry. I nodded off. Did you get to the part where you’re evil?” It bugs me more than I can say. I mean, I get it. Wolfram & Hart are totally the devil. And Lindsey wanting to get out hardly means he’s redeemed himself. But it still bugs me because it’s Angelus levels of douchey.
Lor: It didn’t bother me as much because (1) – Angel just had an identity crisis. He’s questioning his purpose in life (a big theme this episode) (S: Even more so in the next one…) and whether or not all the work he’s doing (to make up for his own past) counts for anything. In walks one of the guys who plays a big part in why he feels he isn’t more effective and says, “whoops! Sorry. Was poor.” He’s riled up, pissed off and has zero reason to believe Lindsay. (2) – It was a pretty boring speech, yo.
Sweeney: Agreed. Also, Angelus level would be a little more, “Oh, this bothers you? K, cool, Imma go torture some kids and make you watch before I murder your face off.” Or, like, soliloquize about murdering your face off; it depends on whether or not the plot calls for you to live.
K: Whatever. It still bugged me. Probably because I’m Team Oy, Enough With The Brooding Already. Anyway, Lindsey fills him in on the killing a bunch of kids plan, and Angel’s suddenly paying attention. He tells Lindsey he needs more information, and Lindsey says anything that exists would be in a vault at Wolfram & Hart, and that he can’t get in because of all the mindreaders that work there. Angel says that Lindsey hasn’t changed, he’s just panicking. And nothing short of dying will convince him that Lindsey’s a changed man.
In the main office, Lindsey and the Fang Gang start planning the big Wolfram & Hart break-in. It’s apparently a two person job – they’ll need Lindsey’s security pass to access the vault, and Angel to kill the demon security guard that’s inside. Except that there’s a problem – there are shamans that can detect a vampire the second one is on the premises. Except for, you know, all those other times when Angel went into Wolfram & Hart without getting caught…
Lor: I think Lindsey mentioned previously about the vampire detector. Of course, it took the security guard like 20 minutes to show up, but the system was totally in place. Also, IDK why a demon-representing-firm would have a vampire detector, seeing as how we saw episode 1 that they represent vampires, but okay!
K: Truth. Anyway, Angel says that it won’t be a problem.
That night, Angel goes to talk to Gunn (aka Bandana Leader from the last episode). For those of you playing “Whedon likes to reuse his actors” at home, J. August Richards is going to be in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. AWESOME. Apparently Gunn can get hold of something specific, and wants to know why he needs to. “In the interest of justice,” Angel tells him. Gunn asks for a better reason. “It’ll be extremely dangerous,” Angel says, and Gunn agrees instantly.
Lor: Today I learned that recovering from a bashed in face (Lee) and that one time you murdered your vampire sister (Gunn) are both super easy to do! Gunn looks pretty happy.
Sweeney: I need to talk to the writers of my life about how useful it would be for their plot if I could shake stuff off like that.
K: Life must be so great in TV world. At Wolfram & Hart the next day, Lindsey walks into the building looking nervous. We cut down to the sewer tunnels, where Angel is using a blowtorch to access the vault area. His goggles are very steampunk. Lindsey heads down to the basement and freaks out when he runs into Lilah coming out of a records store. There’s some pointless back and forth, and he hides in the records store until she leaves. Then he leaves his badge stuck to the bottom of a firehose cupboard for Angel to find. Down in the sewers, Angel pulls off his boilersuit to reveal an actual suit underneath, and checks his watch.
Lindsey heads upstairs to the security department on the pretense of asking the guy on duty about a security system for his place. But really, he’s watching the screens and checking his watch and keeping an eye on the shaman in the corner. As the time hits 12.15, Gunn walks through the front door of Wolfram & Hart, acting all ghetto-y. “Evil white folks really DO have a Mecca!” he yells, and it’s brilliant.
Sweeney: It’s a funny little addition to the, “Look, lawyers are evil!” gag that is Wolfram & Hart. Also, see! So many gifs of this man!
K: It’s because he’s awesome. He starts yelling about being assaulted, even though the guards are like five metres away from him, and then demands a lawyer. When no one moves, he says, “You all can cater to the demon, cater to the dead man, but what about the black man!” and then had two of his guys drag in a human-sized package. Down in the sewers, Angel checks his watch, then jumps through the hole into the vault. In the security office, the Totally Not Human Shaman starts making…IDK, pained dolphin noises?? The security guy jumps to it, because clearly they have a vampire on the premises. Upstairs, Gunn unwraps the package to reveal a very cranky vampire, and makes a run for it.
Lor: Very little about this plan makes sense, but I still like it.
Sweeney: +1
K: Lindsey watches the monitor as Angel grabs the badge from under the firehose, then switches it off so the guard won’t see. In the lobby, the security guards promptly stake the very cranky vampire. In the basement, Angel swipes himself into the vault, and is promptly attacked by a demon. But he blows some kind of purple powder in its face, and it freezes. He pokes its forehead and it topples over backwards. [SWEENEY – IF YOU GIF THIS, I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER] He dusts his hands off, and heads into the vault.
Sweeney: I know that you meant for that note to be a thing I took out if/when I did gif this, but I’m leaving it in because I just flailed. I only wrote down timestamps of two moments to gif and this was one of them SO I ALREADY DID AND YAY BRAINSHARE.
K: Will do. And THANK YOU. That gif is magical. As Angel starts grabbing files, Lindsey’s upstairs looking increasingly nervous. In the vault, Angel finishes grabbing the discs and is heading out when he sees something that looks a lot like a less bling-tastic spirit stick.
Weird “died and gone to heaven” music starts playing in the background as Angel stares at the spirit stick. On a whim, he picks it up to put in his briefcase, and of course this was a terrible idea because a bunch of alarms go off. Giant metal doors start to close, but of course he dives under them at the last minute.
Lor: If I ever have something to protect in a baller status vault, I’m investing in some quick-falling doors.
K: It would be the responsible thing to do, really. Upstairs, Lindsey gets a phone call from Angel telling him that it’s done and to get out of the building. He goes to leave, but security guards start appearing. Lilah and Lee turn up and tell Lindsey that there’s a sweep going on, and UGH NOW WE WON’T MAKE OUR LUNCH MEETINGS. Said sweep involves mind readers, and Lindsey’s all “OH SHIT.”
After the Not Commercial Break, the lawyers get led into a conference room and stared at by the mind readers. They stop in front of Lindsey and stare at him suspiciously, then move on to Lilah. After staring at Lindsey again, they go and confer with Holland. He announces to the lawyers that he’s very disappointed whenever he hears of disloyalty. He walks up and down the line as he talks and stops in front of Lindsey. But then he moves on to Lee, who’s apparently been in secret talks with another law firm and was planning on taking clients with him when he left. Lee protests that he was just faking, but Holland gestures and a security guard shoots Lee in the back of the head. Well. That was unexpected.
Lor: And I made all those comments about damage to his face.
K: I KNOW. ME TOO. Whoops?? Holland asks Lindsey to stay behind as the others file past Lee’s presumably headless corpse.
Elsewhere, Angel takes the lift from the Brooding Basement to the office. He asks Wes if Lindsey’s there, and they all get worried-but-not-really-because-he’s-evil when they realise he’s not with either of them. Cordy asks if Angel’s going to go back for him, and Angel’s all “LOL, NOPE.” He produces the discs and gives them to Cordy. As she starts checking, Wes unrolls the Spirit Stick to reveal a scroll covered in Aramaic. He asks Angel why he took it, and Angel basically says that it seemed like a good idea at the time. Wes says he’ll start translating it. Cordy, meanwhile, has discovered that all the discs are encrypted. Womp womp.
Sweeney: I wrote in all caps: “OMG BRING WILLOW TO LA.”
K: But we drained the crossover magic fairy dry last time, Sweeney. Back at Wolfram & Hart, security guards are dragging Dead!Lee away as Holland sits Lindsey down for a chat. There’s a giant puddle of blood in the carpet, and I can’t imagine that’s fun for the people working on the next floor down…
Lor: I can’t imagine that dragging him along that was is the most efficient way to handle that. These lawyers sure are crazy about their murdering.
K: Truth. Holland tells Lindsey that he knows everything, and wonders whether he should have the security guard shoot him too. When Lindsey says that he wanted out, Holland says that he’s clearly having a crisis of faith and SERIOUSLY? Wolfram & Hart is a religion now? Ugh. This is why I’m an atheist. Anyway, Holland tells Lindsey that clearly he needs a few days to work out his place in the world and make the right decision, and lets him leave.
Over at Angel Investigations, Cordy’s on the phone to an off-screen Willow (I guess there were some Crossover Magic dregs left after all!) (S: But a little underwhelming after my personal headcanon version.) for decrypting help. Apparently it’s been an hour and three quarters already, and Angel’s getting frustrated. Although that could be partly because the girls are catching up on “What have you been up to lately?” gossip while they’re working. Willow talks Cordy through accessing the files, and the Fang Gang look through Genderbent Daredevil’s file. Apparently she lost her sight at the age of 21 – ON PURPOSE. Apparently she spent a millionty years training with mystical monks, and then blinded herself. Weirdo. Anyway, they move onto the file about the kids she’s meant to kill. They’re super-powerful seers of some description. And with their powers combined, yada yada yada, they’re a big threat to Wolfram & Hart.
Lor: You can’t actually say “powers combined” on a site that calls it’s readers “Traumateers” without expecting a Captain Planet gif in response.
Sweeney: Aw, it’s been a while since we had an excuse to bring up, “HEART — NOT IT.”
K: I’ve never seen Captain Planet on account of being old, so…yeah. With that, Lindsey turns up, and they’re all “Oh hey, we totally assumed you were dead!” And for some reason, no one notices the fact that his collar is covered in Lee’s blood and presumably brain tissue. Okay, show. We’ll just ignore Angel’s super-smelling abilities now, shall we? Sure. Whatever.
The kids arrived in the city that morning and are being kept at a safehouse until their mentor arrives. We head over to the safehouse in time to see the guy who’s guarding them get stabbed in the chest with Genderbent Daredevil’s cane. The kids – who are also totally blind – start to freak out as she walks towards them. But Angel arrives in the nick of time and starts to fight her. He yells at Lindsey to get the kids out of the house to safety. She alternates between fighting Angel and Lindsey, but then she knocks Angel down and he realises that she’s a T.rex: if he doesn’t move, she can’t see him.
Pretty much this
So he starts moving only when her back is turned, then lunging suddenly.
Lor: She had her back to Angel when he chucked the glasses, but I guess she felt them sailing through the air? Okay. That.
K: RIGHT??? Yeesh, we can’t even expect consistency within an episode now? Fine, whatever. She starts flailing around with her cane in a totally ineffective manner, and finally he’s right in front of her. He grabs her cane and stabs her with it. She dies in like two seconds from a wound that Grey’s Anatomy has taught me would be totally surviveable. But whatever. The kids are safe.
The next day, Wes tells Angel that the kids are with their mentor, and the reason that Wolfram & Hart knew they were coming is the Spirit Stick Scroll, which is actually an ancient prophecy. An ancient prophecy with a big fat section all about Angel. Angel seems unsurprised by this, because apparently he’s used to ancient prophecies about him turning up every day? IDK.
Lor: It happens when you are so handsome and have such a pronounced brow.
Sweeney: He had to figure there was some ancient prophecy about him when he got his own show. You don’t get to be the titular character without a least a few prophecies to your name.
K: Valid point. Cut to Holland’s office at Wolfram & Hart. He’s packing up his stuff. Lindsey walks in and apologises for saving the kids. He returns the stolen discs, and says that he’s made copies to put a halt to any shooting him in the head plans. Holland says that everyone has their place in the world and he handpicked Lindsey from Hastings – presumably the law school at University of California, and not the liberal arts college in Nebraska where one of my best friends went – because he could see that he had potential. Also, they’re not going to kill him because it took guts to walk back through the door. They’re giving him a massive promotion and a huge pay rise, if he wants it. In short, they’re offering him Holland’s job, because Holland’s “going upstairs.” Holland leaves and Lindsey closes the doors behind him. He sits behind the desk, takes the phone off the hook, and stares out over the city. Cut to Angel, also looking out over the city. He smiles a little and we fade to black.
I liked this episode, guys. I’m kind of surprised by this, because Wolfram & Hart piss me off times infinity. But I really liked them giving more depth to Lindsey’s character, as well as killing off Lee because that dude was a total creeper. Add in a subtle crossover and Angel having a bit of an existential crisis, and it added up to an episode that was more serious, but still thoroughly enjoyable.
Lor: Agreed! Whedon likes sometimes pushing the MC aside and developing a secondary character. Here he does it in what I’m assuming is a way sets us up for the season finale, what with ancient prophesies and all. Lindsey was a good foil for Angel as they both questioned their place in the grand scheme of things.
Next time on Angel: Angel’s existential crisis continues in the finale. Find out what happens on S01 E22 — To Shanshu in LA.
I'm a 30-something librarian and I still live with my parents because I'm super broke. Leader of Team Heartless Cow. I have an inexplicable love for 90s television, eat too much chocolate, and read more than is good for me.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
Nicole is the co-captain of Snark Squad and these days she spends most of her time editing podcasts. She spends too much time on Twitter and very occasionally vlogs and blogs. In her day job she's a producer, editor, director, and sometimes host of educational YouTube channels. She loves travel, maps, panda gifs, and semicolons. Writing biographies stresses her out; she crowd sourced this one years ago and has been using a version of it ever since. She would like to thank Twitter for their help.
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