Dear Traumateers,
Sweeney: DECEMBER. It’s already December. You know, we’ve been doing TMYK for over a year now. I just had a vague flash of writing the December 2012 TMYK so I went to check and was way surprised to discover that we actually did the first one (when we asked all of you to help us name it!) in September 2012. WEIRD. I’m sure I’ll say this again next month when it’s TMYK + all the requisite NEW YEARS goodness, but this blog has come to occupy this strange space where I am equal parts confused by how long it’s been and how it hasn’t been longer because it has come to occupy such a big space in my life.
</sappy team feels nonsense>
Lorraine:
Sweeney: This is TMYK, which is kind of our most, “We do what we want”-iest series of all, though, so I’m not really sorry about that.
The introduction is where we talk about all of our lives and stuff, in case you care about that sort of thing. I’ve been a giant ball of drama lately, none of which is actually worth sharing. I was a courtesan in a community theater production of A Funny Thing Happened On My Way To The Forum. (If you know the show, then you know this means I went on stage about half a dozen times. Mostly I sat backstage and sent a lot of snapchats.) I recently had the delightful experience of doing a small town pub crawl with the family. Also work. Work forever and ever and ever. Those are my exciting life updates. I’m sure you’re all thrilled that I shared.
Lorraine: I love you, Sweeney, and also, I care.
The Thanksgiving holidays are behind us and they were pretty fantastic for me, mostly because I fell ill and had a legit excuse to spend seven days in non-real pants, in some combination of in bed or up and eating. Sick on Thanksgiving isn’t as bad as you’d think it’d be.
So, a gif and a tale of lots of sleeping later, I’ll let Sweeney take over now:
Last Month:
In spite of the Wednesday calm (I know, I know, big plans for CT stuff fell through – but the break was so nice!) and the two days off we took for family time (which was also amazing) November was still a pretty full month.
In FUTURE SPACE COWBOY LAND, Simon and River got kidnapped and Book got near-fatally wounded, but Mal saved everyone. Christina Hendricks stopped by to be a super badass pirate prostitute and Serenity happens upon a land where Jayne is their hero and they sing him an amazing song.
In Rosewood, Alibacks showed us that Ali was being stalked by A too. Caleb continued his computer wizardy while Aria had age appropriate fun when both her and Holden’s secret dates were cancelled. Spencer learned that New Jason is actually her half-brother and we confirmed that all fathers living in Rosewood are super awful. An entire episode of LOLTECHNOLOGY stuff happened, and then the PLL’s paid a stranger $2,000 for a piece of paper with an address. (Where does one find people willing to pay you $2,000 for a piece of paper with an address? I’d be super good at that job. Sign me up.)
Sunnydale continued its quest for unending realness by…potentially being not real because maybe Buffy’s crazy. Spike and Anya had sex, which was then broadcast to the rest of the gang before he outed the Spuffy sex. Then Spike tried to rape Buffy and Tara died and the blog exploded. Willow went black-eyed-crazy-magic and hunted/killed Warren before moving on to the rest of the trio, but Buffy protected them AND THEN GILES CAME BACK. Willow tried to destroy the world, but Xander managed to step in, as the heart, and save the day. In order to put the nightmare of S6 100% behind us, we ranked the episodes and called it a day.
After Wesley and Connor both went missing, the Fang Gang struggled to deal and Angel proved to be less than forgiving when he smothered Wesley with a pillow. Gunn had a flashback that started with Gangsta’s Paradise because LOLFOREVER. Cordelia’s new demon-ness got an added level of seriously-fucking-weird and also Connor came back from hell as a teenage boy. As it turns out, teenage!Connor hates Angel’s guts, so he spidey jumps around LA and makes out with a soon-to-be-deceased drug addict. Lilah recruited Wesley pretty hardcore and had his number all sorts of pegged. Then the season ended with Angel trapped at the bottom of the ocean and Cordelia floating up to another dimension and we still don’t even understand WTF that was. Confusion aside, we ranked S3’s episodes.
Coming Up:
NEW STUFF! If you follow us on Twitter, then you know that we have been trolling the shit out of you there. (It’s been fun, I promise. You should join us there if you haven’t yet!) With PREMIERE DAY looming so close, we’re finally done trolling and it’s actual announcement time.
Are you ready?
Are you sure?
Starting on Wednesday we will premiere two new shows (or, rather, show recaps) here on snarksquad.com. The shows will remain once-a-week until some other things change in our schedule (see also: two shows that are a few weeks from their sad conclusion!) or we figure out how to add more hours to the week. BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE. We’re also adding a new recapper. We’re pretty stoked.
We’ve long talked about ways to make the blog grow, most of which focus on acquiring a time turner. Since we’ve yet to work that out, we finally accepted that we are going to need to have a series or two in which neither of us is an official recapper. I CAN’T EVEN BELIEVE I’M TYPING THESE WORDS RIGHT NOW, GUYS. But before anyone gives us too much credit for letting our baby go out into the world and do its own thing, let’s be real: we couldn’t let just anybody do that. Starting on Wednesday, Sara and Kirsti will be recapping Supernatural, while Lorraine and I ask the blog to call us every five minutes to check in, secretly terrified that it’s going to love the cool aunts more than us. IT’S FINE, GUYS. IT’S GOING TO BE FINE.
The other fun show we’re recapping is one we’ve mentioned enough times for it to have its own tag. I’ve seen it a disturbing number of times and once was enough for Lor to be properly obsessed with it. One of the most fun things about our Buffy blogging process has been the three different viewing experiences (seen it over-and-over, seen it once, and a Snow.) Having a Snow has come to be vitally important to the show-blogging process. On Wednesday we will also be kicking off Veronica Mars with the two of us and The Democracy Diva. She has co-written a post here on the blog before, and I recapped a terrible movie with her on her blog, but she’s new to Snark Squad recapping, and we’re stoked to have her on the team squad.
We’re also really excited for you guys to all know this because I, for one, am terrible at secrets. As much fun as being a troll was, secrets are hard.
Lorraine: Mostly: YAY!
Welcome Questionable New friends:
After perusing our analytics to see which amazing Questionable Google Searches of the Day got people to our blog, I couldn’t decide who I most wanted to welcome. As such, here are two of our new friends:
does someone get killed in fifty shades darker
I assume you asked this question because you were hoping it was Ana or Grey and thought maybe reading all the way to FSD would be worth it if that happened. I understand your question and am sad to report that the answer is no. BUT WELCOME!
well oh excuse me
I have no idea what you could have possibly been searching for, but you sound like you’re probably snarky and weird and I like it, so welcome to Traumaland, friend.
♥
The Snark Squad