A Discovery of Witches S01 E07 – Killed my last two girlfriends, btw.

Previously: Diana surveys some torture and learns to fly.

Episode 7

Marines: Diana says goodbye to Ysabeau and apologizes for bringing trouble to her home. Ysabeau says it’s fine, because their old house has seen worse. She touches Diana tenderly on her cheek. Diana says goodbye to Marthe in the background now, as Matthew says goodbye to his mom. She tells him to be careful in Madison. Baldwin is stalling the Congregation for as long as he can, but it will only be a few days. And anyway, this is Matthew’s fight, not Baldwin’s. Matthew is like “I knoooow mooooom,” which is apparently a sentiment you can’t escape even when you are a super old vampire.

Diana and Matthew head towards their helicopter.

We get a title sequence but no Matthew voice over. I like that. (T: YES!) (R: FINALLY.) Matthew is driving Diana. “Home,” he says and she smiles. “Madison in the fall is the best Madison there is.” Here, from the depths of the longest year ever, I’m deeply craving fall decor and pumpkins. This is already my favorite episode.

Thais: I’m going to have to take Diana’s word for it. I live in Texas, so Madison in the fall sounds entirely too cold. But I haven’t left my house in nearly 6 months, so I’ll take it.

Rebeeca: I’m already drinking pumpkin spiced coffee right at this moment because fuck summer.

Mari: To be clear, I get no fall, and I love summer, but since I have to be inside all the time, I want ~cozy~.

They arrive at the Aunts’ house. Matthew is surprised no one is home, since he told them when they would be arriving. Diana says they wanted to give them some time alone with the house, which immediately starts rattling. Diana explains that the house has been known to misbehave with new people, and gives it a loving pat. Matthew asks if it’s haunted, then. Diana says of course it is. They are witches. (T: This concept is pretty cool.)

Diana walks in first and waits a beat before letting Matthew in. He asks what the house is capable of. Slamming doors, flickering lights. Diana says one time the whole second floor disappeared for a week. I’d be so mad at my house, but it might be worth it for my house to be mad at strangers. Diana says hi to the cat.

Rebeeca: I also said hi to the cat, and I don’t want to talk about it.

Mari: We cut to Baldwin before the rest of the Council. Agatha says that Domenico failed to retrieve Diana, and now Baldwin has too, and he expects them all to believe that she’s gone. Baldwin thinks Agatha seems way too interested in Diana. She takes a few moments to say that she’s interested in the Book of Life. Baldwin said Diana would answer their questions. He says she still will, once they find Satu and bring her and Diana home. Knox has a reaction to Satu’s name. Agatha is surprised to find that Satu has Diana. All eyes turn to Knox.

Rebeeca: I’m gonna be honest I forget who a lot of these white dudes are.

Mari: We’re so close to the end of the season, I think that’s fine.

Know plays along and says they’ve done their own spells that turned up the same result: Satu is with another witch. Baldwin asks if they think Diana is an ally or a prisoner. Knox says it’s unclear. Baldwins suggests they keep the search going around the clock until Diana is found. Baldwin asks Domenico why Gebert isn’t here, but Domenico doesn’t know where he is. Baldwin sends Domenico to visit Miss Durand and find out. The rest of the Congregation is dismissed. Baldwin tells them all to take care of their own.

The Aunts are back. (R: I can’t believe they actually left!) Emily runs up to give Diana a hug, but she’s cold. Sarah thinks it’s because the house didn’t like Matthew, but Diana says the house liked him just fine. (T: Um, Sarah is wearing a pussy hat, and that has to be on purpose, right?) Diana demands the truth. Sarah doesn’t know what’s going on, but it’s clear that Emily does. Diana asks if they knew she was spellbound. Sarah is shocked, but Emily admits that she suspected as much. Diana asked who did it, and Emily says it was her parents.

Inside, Sarah can’t believe any of this. Diana asks what is wrong with her. She doesn’t think anyone would do this to a child if there weren’t something really wrong with said child. Emily is crying as she says that isn’t it at all. Diana would’ve been tested once she came of age, like any child, but Knox couldn’t wait. He was obsessed with the idea that Diana had inherited her mother’s power. (T: Which was…?) Her parents loved her and were trying to protect her. Diana is mad Emily kept this secret all these years, as she lived as half of herself. Emily cries some more as she says she had to trust that her mother wanted to keep this secret for a reason. Diana demands to know if that’s all Emily knows. Emily promises.

Rebecca: My favorite part in all this is Matthew slowly sitting down in a chair while staring at all these arguing witches with this “Please don’t notice me” look on his face.

Mari: I totally get why this would be upsetting for Diana, but the beginning of the show tries to sell us on Diana not even liking witchcraft. Part of the reason she lived without magic for so long is because she hated it. The flip flop to “you kept this from me!” feels a little off because of it.

Thais: Yes! She actively avoided magic until Matthew “awakened” her, what, a week ago? Now we’re supposed to be convinced that she’s carrying a lifelong grudge over not having her full powers?

Mari: Not convinced.

Diana storms off and Sarah tries to go after her. Matthew stands up and gets in Sarah’s face, telling her to let Diana go. What a dick. (T: “We’re vampire-married, so she’s my property now!”) There was a gentler way to be like “give her time,” or something. The house intervenes and starts shaking, before pulling up an exclusive movie screening of The Past. In The Past, everyone watches as Diana’s parents, Stephen and Rebecca stand in the kitchen and say that Knox has found them. They are out of time.

Thais: I don’t know if a live screening of my childhood seems awesome or mortifying. 

Rebecca: I vote mortifying, but I was a real pos kid.

Mari: I get too much embarrassment to watch The Past.

Cut to Stephen and Rebecca (R: Not me!!) marking something on Child Diana’s forehead. They prepare the power binding ritual. Diana wakes up and finds her mom sitting at her bedside. Child Diana asks why her mom is sad. Rebecca says she isn’t sad. She’s here for a story. Diana’s favorite story: The Magic Ribbons and the Shadow Prince. Stephen tells Diana to stay very still to hear it. Rebecca starts the story as Stephen starts the spell. The story says that once there was a brave, young witch who was covered in invisible ribbons in every color of the rainbow. We watch as the spell Stephen is saying causes light to wrap around Diana. She starts to freak out, but her mom tells her to lie still and continues the story: The ribbons that wrap around the witch were special ribbons that would protect the girl from witches that were jealous of her power. One day, when she grew up, she met the Shadow Prince. That’s where she stops, because the spell is complete. The light disappears.

Rebecca asks Stephen what they’ve done. Their magic is who they are. Stephen says that Diana is alive, they’ve protected her, and one day if she needs her magic, she will find it again.

We cut to Rebecca explaining to Diana that a man is just going to put his hand on Diana’s head for a few minutes and that’s it. We watch as Knox tests for her power.

Thais: Power testing doesn’t seem like a very exact process. He just sort of touches her face.

Rebecca: It’s like an old-timey doctor checking for Cholera. 

Mari: “Yep feels like none power but a slight fever, huh.”

And then we cut to Stephen and Rebecca packing up their car for a trip. They are both very sad and weepy. Rebecca tells Emily that if Knox comes back, he will be looking for them, not Diana. Emily asks what’s going on and Rebecca tells her not to ask that. They hug. And then Rebecca says a teary goodbye to her daughter. Everyone watches as Rebecca and Stephen drive away.

Diana hated this showing of The Past. 0 out of 5 stars. She runs away from her aunts and into the forest. (R: How very Bella of her.) She dramatically pulls her scarf off, for some reason. (T: Her witchy rage will keep her warm!) She finds a tree where her parents have their initials carved into the bark. Matthew finds Diana there and tells her there is nothing wrong with her and there never was. Diana explains that usually, when someone is spellbound, they stay that way forever or until the original spell caster sets them free. Diana suspects that her parents tied her binding to need, so that she could access her power if she needed it. Matthew was also in the stories, though. The spell is also tied to her need for Matthew. They kiss and hug. And Diana briefly sees her mom ghost.

Thais: What? Why would her parents tell stories about a vampire marrying their witch daughter when that’s supposed to be so taboo it’s illegal?

Rebecca: He’s not a vampire he’s a Shadow Prince!

Mari: It’s diFFerENT.

At the house, Emily offers Sarah coffee, but she waves it off. Em joins her on the couch and explains that she thought, at the time, that Rebecca would come home and explain everything herself. But then when they buried her and Stephen, it didn’t seem to matter. Plus, Diana’s powers kept coming and going, which isn’t how a spellbinding usually works. Emily couldn’t imagine telling Sarah the truth, breaking her heart that way. Sarah is crying because her sister didn’t trust her. She knew Emily would be careful and patient. Sarah would be angry and would go after Knox with a carving knife. (R: Would love to see it.) Emily insists that Rebecca did trust her– to be the warrior, and the carer, and to keep them safe, which is exactly what Sarah did all their life. Sarah crumbles into Emily and cries and here, from the depths of the longest year ever, I also cry. Leave it to the gay aunts and their beautiful haunted house and the cat I haven’t even seen but love to be the thing that gets me most on this show.

Thais: The aunts are by far the most compelling characters, and they’ve been given too little screen time. And I teared up, too.

Rebecca: I didn’t cry because I’m a monster, but I love them and if they die I will throw something.

Mari: Venice. Knox is sleeping fitfully. Satu is in his room, and she’s got his torture ball in her hand. He wakes after a bit and sees Satu in the shadows. She accuses him of killing Stephen and Diana. He asks where Diana is. Satu ignores the question and reminds him that he said that opening someone up would affect the spell caster too, something he knew because he’d cast the spell himself before. Twice. He opened them to get to the power he didn’t find in their daughter. She asks if she’s right, and Knox says no. She asks if he found what he was looking for. He didn’t because the power was never theirs. It was Diana’s. Knox shouts no! He tested Diana. Satu reveals that Diana was spellbound. She doesn’t even know her own power.

Thais: Hell hath no fury like a man who’s been proven wrong in an argument. 

Mari: Knox figures it must’ve been Rebecca and Stephen who did the spellbinding. He shares that Rebecca could’ve led the Congregation. That’s where she was headed, and the witches might’ve been able to challenge the De Clairmonts. But Stephen was a secretive, selfish witch and he got into Rebecca’s ear. Satu realizes that Knox loved Rebecca, but he loved the power he sensed in her even more. (T: Oh ew, no, thank you.) Satu gets it, though, because she wanted that power too. That’s why she betrayed Knox and opened Diana up, even though it drained her power. Satu asks if it will come back. Knox tells her to give it time and rest. Finally, Satu shares that there is a prophecy about the end of the vampires. Satu thinks it has to do with Diana, which means they have to get Diana away from Matthew, whatever the cost.

Rebecca: Wait so they can get rid of vampires or help them? Is Diana being close to Matthew going to be the end of vampires or something else? I’m sorry I didn’t pay enough attention I was trying not to barf on the classic Villain loved the dead woman trope.

Mari: That’s fair. Bold of the show to assume we’d follow along after that.

Back in Madison, Sarah and Matthew are at the kitchen table. She is looking through a spell book, but Matthew is not impressed by these quaint spells. (T: Oh, fuck off, Matthew, you can be the protection spell, if you want it so badly.) Sarah understands that he’s scared about the threat, but she is concerned with Diana’s power. She needs to learn control, and that’s what basic spells will teach her. Matthew presses, so Sarah yells that she knows he’s trying to scare her, but she’s already scared. And she’s doing the best she can. AND YOU ARE IN HER HOUSE, SO CALM THE F DOWN. I added the last part.

Diana interrupts to say that Sarah is right. She needs to learn control so she’ll go back to basics. And Matthew can teach her how to defend herself.

Thais: Lesson number 1: If a vampire sniffs your clothing menacingly, they are not a potential love interest. Stay far away.

Rebecca: How is Diana the most reasonable one here right now?

Mari: It is rather discomforting.

We cut to Diana trying a spell to light a candle, but not getting it. Sarah tells her to keep trying.

Matthew has a box in his hand and tells Emily that he would swear it was from the 17th century, but for the condition. Emily says that it was a present from Stephen. Matthew immediately understands that Stephen was a timewalker. Matthew asks if he went to past often. Emily says less after Diana was born, but he would still take Rebecca special places for her birthday. (T: Good lord, the casual way time travel is dealt with in fantasy TV shows is such a joke.) Matthew asks if it was easy to do, and Emily says a few minutes forward or back is easy, but further than that, not so much.

Diana gets the candle to start smoking, but then she lights something else in the kitchen on fire. Sarah puts it out and they keep practicing.

Domenico visits Juliette, but she doesn’t want to see him. Domenico tells her that Baldwin is telling people that Satu has Diana, but he thinks he’s lying. He once got his hands on Diana’s personal files and offers to do it again, if Juliette would like. There is a lot of fluff in this scene I really don’t care about. I think the point is that Domenico is going to get Juliette Diana’s file. Either Juliette finally goes after Matthew or she doesn’t. It’s up to her.

Rebecca: I honestly never remember these two, and Juliette’s obsession with Matthew is incredible uninteresting. It’s been decades and you’re hot af move on, my friend.

Mari: Truly. And why does Domenico give a damn? The world may never know.

Diana can’t do any magic and she’s pissed. (T: I mean, I don’t know anyone who just picks up a skill in their 30s after years actively avoiding it, so…) (R: this felt like such a callout of my 32-year-old ass.) Sarah tries to get her to keep going, but they are both too worked up. Diana snaps that Sarah’s magic is different than hers. Sarah can’t help her with this. That makes Sarah mad, so she throws her hands up and walks away. Diana tries to apologize, but Sarah needs a time out. Apparently, so does Diana because she just zaps out of the room. Everyone is worried, but Matthew listens for her. (T: And *shushes* the aunts. Rude.) We watch as Diana appears in a barn nearby. Matthew tells the Aunts that he hears her, and she’s safe.

Matthew super runs over and asks what happened. Diana says she just need to be outside for some air and then she was gone. Thankfully, Matthew just learned about timewalking! So he asks Diana if maybe she’s timewalker, and reveals that her father was. She beams, even though she doesn’t know how the heck she did it.

Rebecca: It looked more like teleporting to me but whatever.

Mari: Agatha visits Hamish and tells him about Sophie, the demon born to witches. She wants to talk to Diana. Hamish asks if she really thinks Diana is the demon savior. Agatha says Sophie believes it. And if demons can be born to witches, everything they know about the species is up for grabs.

 
 
Thais: It would be nice if they took any time at all to explain the demons and why they need saving. What do demons even do? What makes them demonic, exactly?

Rebecca: Okay, yes, thank you. That’s what’s been bothering me. I don’t understand anything about demons or why I should care.

Mari: Juliette and Gerbert attend a Catholic mass. He takes a seat in front of Baldwin and they just have a whole conversation right here, which seems hella rude, but also probably the least of your worries if you are evil in a church. (T: Why are all of these unholy, undead creatures in a Catholic church right now?) Gerbert tells Baldwin that it was Juliette who offered Satu La Pierre in order to torture Diana. Baldwin calls BS, seeing as how Juliette does very little without Gerbert’s direction. Gerbert says things are different when it comes to Matthew, and he prompts Juliette to confess. She hesitates. And then refuses to fall on the sword for Gerbert, walking out of the cathedral with confidence and passing Domenico outside, not pausing to speak to him. He looks proud.

Rebecca: Is this character development? I don’t know enough about Juliette to say for sure. I liked her Badass Woman walk though.

Mari: Dark forest. Diana is training with Matthew now. He’s sneaking up on her so she can practice sensing danger. If she were any good at that, she would’nt’ve have started dating you, but okay. (T: For real, he is always the danger.) Matthew explains that Diana can always use her powers when she needs something. She stops thinking and starts feeling. Matthew comes toward her, but she’s too slow, and gets knocked down. She laughs, but Matthew is concerned. She says she’s not hurt, but she is bleeding. Matthew says he won’t hurt her. (R: Gee, thanks how sweet.) I know we keep talking about vampires and witches and demons, but I legit kind of forgot Matthew was a vampire lol. I was like what? And then went, OH. BLOOD.

Thais: Thankfully, his reaction is better than Jasper Hale’s.

Mari: Diana taunts Matthew with her bloody hand and says she had an idea. Remember, back in the pilot when he was like “move past me slowly. Don’t run.” Aw, couple memories. (R: Her impression of him his fucking hilarious.) Anyway, her idea is to run now. Matthew growls and tries to fight his instinct, but can’t, and chases her. (T: They think this is supposed to be sexy, WTF.) He catches up quickly, but just as he lunges for her, she starts flying. She says she just needed a little more danger. They both laugh until she lands and like lands right on top of him. They kiss and then keep kissing and undressing all over the Aunts’ house, which is kind of rude. Like no one wants to trip over your clothes in the morning. Also, if I recall correctly, Matthew refuses to have sex with Diana for most if not all of the first book. It’s a whole thing. I’m happy for TV show Diana.

Rebecca: I’m glad they got rid of that side plot because Ew.

Mari: Post-coitally, Matthew looks sad. Diana asks what’s wrong and he tells her that there were two women, human women, that he loved. Not like this soul bond shit, or whatever, but he did love them. And he promised them both that they were safe with him. The implication is that he later ate them. (T: Swoon.) Diana says it’s fine because he won’t hurt her. She’s not human. She’s powerful. He won’t hurt her because he doesn’t want to, but also, because she won’t let him.

Rebecca: Imagine snuggling with your man and he’s like “Killed my last two girlfriends bt dubs” and you’re just like, “No problem, babe. <3 4eva”

Mari: Amazing.

Miriam and Marcus arrive at the Aunts’ house. Miriam hisses at the cat, like who the hell.

I guess a vampire.

Sarah and Emily awkwardly greet them. I mean, Sarah mostly glares, but Emily lets them in.

Thais: I am the Emily of my relationship, but I so wish I could be more of a Sarah.

Mari: In the living room, things are stiff and awkward. Sarah thinks it’s laughable that these vampires pass for human. Miriam thinks that Sarah is pretty obvious herself. Sarah asks what the hell Marcus is staring at, but he says it’s just that Sarah look so much like her ancestor namesake, Sarah Bishop. They fought together at Bunker Hill. Emily is fascinated, but Sarah says this isn’t a social call. (R: How is she not more interested?!) And having a bunch of vampires guarding Bishop land isn’t going to work. She starts getting worked up, and so does the house. So worked up that an envelope comes flying out of nowhere.

It’s marked “Diana, you will need this. Dad.” Matthew offers to leave her alone to open it, but she says it’s fine. She opens it and inside is a page from Ashmole 782. It’s a drawing of a man in black and a woman in white. The woman has Matthew’s insignia. Miriam wants to get to the page to a lab, but Sarah says there’s no need. She has a still room and just the spell. The vampires look Concerned.

Domenico is walking through Venice when he runs into Satu. She tries to run, but she’s cornered, and has no magic.

Thais: This show better not kill off my girl Satu.

Rebecca: Sadly Satu is losing me a bit.

Mari: Same. She’s in the limbo of her storyline currently. She can win me back easily, though, the moment she has anything to do.

As Diana keeps looking at the envelope, she realizes that she recognizes the writing. Her father wrote in Ashmole 782. The first page had two inscriptions, one in ink by Ashmole, and the second in pencil by her father who apparently was fine with writing in precious books. (T: In historical books so valuable you can’t even remove them from the library!) Anyway, the inscription for everyone who doesn’t remember, which is probably everyone was “In two parts, the first Anatomical, the second Psychological.” Diana wonders what her dad was doing writing in the Book of Life. Matthew thinks it must have something to do with why Diana is the only one who can summon the book. And he probably wants Diana to be the one to have it.

Rebecca: She’ll get it one page at a time! Will be a long show.

Mari: Baldwin praises Domenico for capturing Satu. He asks where she is. Domenico answers by asking what happens now. Will he recall the Congregation? Baldwin says not just yet. Domenico guesses that Baldwin is helping Matthew, which is weird because he always thought the brothers hated each other. It suits Matthew, though, to have everyone running after Satu and not Diana. Baldwin plays it off like he just wants to punish Satu for trespassing on his land. Domenico decides he’ll hold on to Satu, for now. Baldwin asks what Domenico wants. He says nothing, right now, but who knows about later. He’ll be in touch.

Forest. Matthew and Diana are training again, even though she just wants to kiss. She uses her magic to try and find him, and we do see her hands glowing as she says she senses a vampiric power. Matthew is hiding behind a tree, but Diana is heading into the barn. We see why: Juliette is there. Diana runs right into her. Juliette grabs her by the throat.

Thais: I guess it’s just super easy for vampires to travel from Venice to Madison, Wisconsin at a moment’s notice.

Rebecca: So… So it wasn’t character development on Juliette’s part. Got it. Cool.

Mari: Next episode is the last episode of season one, so if you are keeping score, it took 6 episode to get anywhere plot-wise. So, that’s fun. Maybe the character development will come in season 2.

 

Next time on A Discovery of Witches: Matthew tries to save Diana and then Diana has to save Matthew in S01 E08 – Episode 8.

 

Marines (all posts)

I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.





Rebecca (all posts)

I am a book, movie, and TV fanatic over the age of 30. I love baking, video games, and D&D. Legally I must tell you I am a disaster. I've written like 6 novels but haven't had the real courage to query agents yet, and also I don't know how to make decisions (DISASTER). So please send me wine for Courage. Maybe a heart too. Oh and also a brain.





Thais (all posts)

I'm a loud Brazilian who loves all things fantasy, horror, and YA. I spend most of my spare time reading, bellydancing, making lists, and watching way too much TV. My name is pronounced Tah-ees (it doesn't have a notable meaning, but there's a French opera with the same name!).





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