Previously: The loudest tongue ring in the world. THE WORLD.
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Marines: Hello, my patient and beautiful doves. Here we are at last. When we first started recapping After, and we announced that we would be doing two recaps a week, I remember people laughing that even if we kept up with that schedule (we didn’t) it would take us SO LONG to finish. Yes, correct. It took a very long time. I’ve been reading this book forever.
Forever and this one, final chapter.
Samantha: What did I do before this book invaded my life? Who was I? Can I find her again?
Mari: Before this book? Seems fake.
On that note:
Tessa is super confused about what’s going on. She looks around and realizes that she’s surrounded by people who have spent the whole book taunting her, no matter how hard she tried to fit in with them. She can’t trust a single one of them. I’d like to point out for the fair readers at home that this includes her boyfriend. Her boyfriend is standing right there and she’s like
looking for someone to trust
Samantha: And while obviously these people suck, Tessa has actually spent the book mocking and judging them and occasionally drinking with them. So. Idk where she learned fitting in.
Mari: Wherever she learned it, I don’t want to go to there.
Jace seconds Molly’s suggestion that Hardin tell Tessa what’s going on. Hardin looks at Tessa desperately and tells her that he’ll tell her what’s going on… outside. Tessa says he looks wild and desperate, so her self-preservation checks in for one hot damn second, and she decides not to go anywhere with him.
Tessa tells him to say what he has to say here, in front of everyone, so he can’t lie. Hardin starts by apologizing and saying that this all started before he even knew her. It was back on one of those first party nights when they played truth or dare and Nate asked if she was a virgin…
Tessa immediately goes OH NO in her head. She can’t believe this is happening to her. I mean, it’s awful, and she doesn’t deserve this AT ALL, but honestly this was the longest, slowest train wreck to watch. We knew when it left the station.
Samantha: It’s pretty “yeah, girl. OOOOOF.”
Mari: Jace prods Hardin to keep going and leans forward like he’s enjoying the heck out of this. Hardin glares at him, and Tessa takes a moment to let us all know that if Hardin weren’t in the middle of ruining their relationship, he would be murdering Jace.
Hardin continues: Tessa said she was a virgin and that gave someone an idea. Molly interjects for clarification. It gave who an idea? Hardin admits that it was his idea. To make a bet. Hardin’s head falls, and Tessa starts to cry. She’s obviously confused, hurt and angry. Then she starts to remember all the warning signs, and by warning signs I mean all the times people said things like “stay away from Hardin.” There were so many clues, but Tessa was too blinded by Hardin to see them. She wonders why he would go as far as to have her live with him, though.
Tessa turns to Steph and asks if she knew. She’s crying too and tries to claim that she tried to tell Tessa so many times. I mean, they lived together so gtfo, Steph. I know it seemed like Hardin was there all the time, but I assure you, you had a chance to say something. (S: Big fuck you to Steph. Girls are supposed to look out for each other!) Jace is still having the time of his life, feeding off of this girl’s pain, and he laughs about how he totally didn’t believe Hardin had won, even though Hardin brought THE USED CONDOM WITH HIM AS PROOF. Molly says that they had to believe him when HE BROUGHT THE BLOODY SHEETS AS PROOF.
Samantha: Hahahaha oh my god help.
Mari: REMEMBER THE BLOODY SHEETS? Of course you do because, despite Hardin’s claim that this all happened so long ago and at the very beginning of their flash in the pan relationship, the bloody sheets happened in chapter S E V E N T Y N I N E. And the we find out in chapter E I G H T Y S E V E N that he still has the god forsaken sheets in his trunk. So when he said that this all happened before he knew her, he meant that it was still happening 88% OF THE WAY THROUGH THEIR “LOVE STORY.”
I’m also sure you guys remember those sheets because lots of the comments on the chapter 79 and 87 posts are UGH, THE SHEETS. Honestly, I was so focused on the fact that Hardin is probably a murderer that I hadn’t thought about why he would really have bloody sheets in his car.
Dating for a bet is a pretty common teen/high school trope, but I don’t know man, you move it into college, make it about the archaic notion of “taking someone’s virginity” and throw in a dose of bloody sheets and suddenly, I’d like to vomit please.
Samantha: The HORROR. This BASTARD. He was telling her he LOVED her when he delivered those sheets. There is no excuse that FORGIVES that and so help me I don’t wanna know how she gets there in book 2.
Mari: Because we all know she does.
Hardin says he’s sorry. Tessa is still frozen.
Molly reminds Tessa of when they were at this very bar just after Steph gave her “that ridiculous makeover.” Hardin and Zed, who was also in on the bet, were fighting over who was going to take Tessa home. Later that night, Hardin showed up at her room with a bottle of vodka, pretending to be drunk, after assuring everyone he would totes win the bet that night. Zed guessed Tessa wouldn’t give it up that easily. Molly actually expected Tessa to hold out for longer. She’s glad she didn’t bet money.
Tessa can’t believe it. “This level of humiliation and loss is worse than I could ever have imagined.” I know that it’s only been a few months with Hardin, but I believe this, considering that it would be humiliating in ANY circumstance, but also, Tessa has completely rearranged her life and her relationships to accommodate Hardin. In a lot of ways, losing him means she’s lost everything.
Samantha: I’m actually nauseated at these people.
Mari: Tessa glances at Hardin and instantly wishes she hadn’t. He’s just standing there as Tessa dies inside. Molly keeps pushing the knife in, saying that she was at least worth a pretty penny. Jace, Logan and Zed all bet money. Jace says he’s only sorry that he missed the whole “I love you” scene, because he heard it was killer. Finally, someone speaks up. Tristan yells at all of them to shut the fuck up because she’s already had enough. I mean… thank you for speaking up, but it’s weird that what you are saying is that they’ve made fun of her enough. You’re not protesting that they are making fun of her in the first place or that this bet happened at all. It’s just that the commentary has gone far enough.
Samantha:
Mari: Hardin steps closer to Tessa and asks her to please say something, calling her baby while he does so. It’s the endearment that tips the scales for her, and she yells at him to not fucking call her that. How could he do this to her? She is not going to say anything to him, because that’s what he wants. Hardin starts to say that he knows he messed up and Tessa is like YOU MESSED UP? All she wants to know is why her. Hardin truthfully says that she was there, and she was a challenge. He didn’t know he’d ~~fall in love~~. Now Tessa wants to vomit please. She calls him sick and runs to the door. Hardin grabs her arm, but she pulls away and slaps him hard. “The pain in his expression gives me the most painful satisfaction.” HIT HIM AGAIN! Wait, I’m sorry, we hardly ever promote violence on this website, ahem.
Samantha: Somehow it feels justified. I think Wonder Woman would approve.
Mari: Tessa keeps yelling at him, saying that he ruined everything. He took something from her that wasn’t his to take.
Sorry, talking about the socially constructed concept of virginity always makes me a little queasy.
Anyway, Tessa goes on that her virginity was for someone who loved her and he took it for money. She ruined her relationship with her mother and broke up with a perfectly okay guy she mostly loved like a brother. Hardin insists that he totally does love her. He was going to tell her! He tried to get everyone else not to tell her, which is why he stayed out all night!
SURPRISE! Remember? ‘Member how we were wondering why Hardin stayed out all night punching his way around town, or whatever? He was trying to physically intimidate his friends into not telling his girlfriend that he essentially sold off her virginity and proved it with bloody sheets! What a twist.
Samantha: Wow! What….what great payoff….
Mari: Tessa is honestly losing her shit because she can’t believe he thought trying to convince others not to tell her would be okay. Or that now that they were living together, she’d totally forgive the bet thing. She realizes, too, that he was so insistent on her name being on the lease so he could trap her. She also realizes that he went to her room and put all her stuff in garbage bags because he was afraid if she went to get her own stuff, Steph would spill the beans.
Everyone in the bar is staring now, but Tessa has another question. What did Hardin do with the money? Well, her car, the paint job and the deposit on the apartment. Apparently he thought if he used the money on stuff for her it would be better? I mean, he could’ve… not accepted the money… I honestly am confused by his “logic” here. He swears he’s loved her all along, so she reminds him about the condom and the bloody sheets. (Sorry, I should’ve told you to just drink every time I have to write “bloody sheets.”) (S: It happened automatically anyway. A drink just apparated in front of me each time.) (M: A traumaland miracle.) Tessa can’t believe that while she was reliving the best night of her life, he was showing the sheets to his friends.
Hardin knows he doesn’t have any excuse, but she “has to” forgive him because they can work this out. Tessa legit LOL’s at him. Forgive him? He’s ruined her life, which he did promise to do. She congratulates him on that and wonders if he wants some more money or for her to find him another virgin. Hardin positions himself so he can block her view of everyone sitting at the table, watching this. He begs some more, insisting that he really, really, for real, for real loves her. He wants her to go home with him. In fact he’s so desperate that he gets down on his knees in front of her. I know EL James didn’t invent kneeling to beg for forgiveness, but it’s very Fifty Shades.
Tessa takes advantage that he’s on the floor and not really blocking her way anymore and runs for the door again. She runs into Zed, who is walking in at that moment. Zed asks what’s wrong, but then looks inside to see the scene, complete with Hardin kneeling, and guesses what’s up. He also starts to apologize, but there is no time because Hardin is getting up and Tessa wants out.
Zed follows Tessa outside and tells her she’s in no condition to drive in the snow storm. She yells at him for being in on it too, but he just wants to drive her home safely. She starts to say no again, but Hardin is outside now, and driving in a snow storm with the like 2nd worst guys she knows is the preferable option. She and Zed both jump into his car quickly, watching as Hardin transforms into an anger monster, and then falls to his knees sadly as they drive off.
Samantha: Hardin is so genuinely frightening.
Mari: In the car, Zed tries to apologize again, but Tessa tells him not to talk to her. She can’t hear any more. I mean, she still wants to know why Hardin did what he did, but not now. This is very confusing to me because I feel like I have a complete picture of who Hardin is and why he would do some shit like this. She may have unasked questions, but truly, I have none.
The more Tessa thinks about all of this, about Hardin, Jace, Molly and the rest, the more she realizes she does want to know. She turns to Zed and tells him to tell her everything. Every detail.
Zed worriedly agrees.
THE END.
I’m very confused by this turn of events. Let’s take it back to Fifty Shades of Grey, in which Grey was a monster throughout the whole book as well, but there was one final thing he did that was like the last straw for Ana. He spanked her, basically, and she was like fuck no and left. Here, it’s a reveal that colors what we’ve been reading all along? It isn’t that Hardin did one final thing; it’s that he’s been doing this thing to Tessa for these almost 100 chapters and we just found out about it. It changes everything we read. I mean, probably not really for US, the discerning reader who knew Hardin was trash from go, but still. It focuses all the ways we assumed he was trash by saying, “yes, in fact he is!”
How is the reader supposed to feel after this? Good about ANY part of Hessa’s relationship??? Am I supposed to root for Hardin to be… forgiven??? Am I going into the next book waiting for them to get back together???
Honestly, perplexed.
Samantha: I just looked and there’s 5 books in this series, including one that looks like it is a prequel from Hardin’s perspective which… STOP. Anyway, even setting aside that Hardin is an abuser (HARDIN IS AN ABUSER) it all hinges on what Mari said. He continued with the gross and terrible bet even AFTER he “fell in love”. The bet trope only sorta works when the guy drops the bet once he realizes he caught feelings. Hardin… didn’t… at all… because he’s trash. So I cannot conceive of how the reader or Tessa is supposed to forgive him. “Babe, I’m so sorry that I took the money and presented an intimate aspect of your life to my friends without your consent, I swear I loved you the whole entire time.”
Mari: It probably goes without saying, but I am happy to be done reading this here book. Inevitably, when we finish a book people want to know what comes next. I’ll admit that I finished reading a bit ago, but had to come back to actually recap. When I finished reading, I was very upset and made this video:
Apart from that, if anyone is interested in joining, I would be willing to do an After movie #snarkathon in October. All I need is a couple of people to say they won’t leave me alone, and I’m in.
Samantha: If we plan it for a Saturday that I am not working then I am in!
Mari: Will we read book 2? The answer is not now. I never say no, because I’m a sucker for content and angrily yelling at things I hate. We need a break, though. Not a “we took weeks to post a chapter” break but a “I don’t have to have the next update hanging over my head” break. As much as I love doing this and talking to you guys about trash, it always gets a wee bit harder at the end, when we’ve spent so much time with the same characters and story. So, maybe we’ll be back. Ask me in 2020.
Samantha: I also find yelling about awful things around these parts occasionally cathartic so I would also say maybe in 2020.
Mari: Thanks for sticking with us, dearest friends! You suffered (and laughed! And yelled into the void!) right alongside us. Cheers to you.
Samantha: I love you all so much I wouldn’t even take a bet to humiliate you!
Mari: Beautiful.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
I'm a 28 year old graduated English major and almost librarian. I can often be found singing too loudly (poorly) in the car or spending some time (hours) on Tumblr. I am a lover of Harry Potter, the Spice Girls, and too many other things.